The Rerouted Skytress

I have a fairly consistent method I use each month when I bid my trips. I bid commutable trips that leave on Tuesday and come home on Thursday. I use our airline’s rotation filtering system to help filter out the trips that meet these parameters. During my vacation months I will slightly stray from my bidding system to maximize my days off. Yessiree. My ultimate goal is to turn my one week of vacation into three weeks of vacation for the month. I’ll admit. When I did my bidding for this December, I strayed even further from my system. I, also, did my bidding in the crew lounge one night when I couldn’t get home due to the government shutdown. Unfortunately for me, my flights home to St. Louis were canceled at the last minute. Thus, the crew lounge became my crash pad for the night. Instead of trying to sleep uncomfortably in a chair, I stayed up all night working on my bids. I thought I was very clever with my midnight bidding system. Unfortunately, when I finally got my December bid results, I discovered I wasn’t so clever. Egads! I would be flying 11 out of 13 days at the beginning of the month. Eventually, flying 11 of 13 days would turn into flying 13 days straight. Fortunately, what looked awful on paper, was actually an early Christmas present to myself. I had the most incredible 13 days of flying! The reroute gods must have thought 13 days of flying was utterly despicable. They took pity on me and left me alone. Little did they know I spent the first two weeks of December hanging out with my favorite people. Ah, yes. Merry Christmas to me!

My first trip of the month I had Tulsa and Greensboro layovers. I flew with two amazing Skytresses. We talked nonstop for three days. Imagine that! I learned on the last day of our trip that my Skytress In-Charge knew my best friend’s daughter. Skytress Kelly lives in Tallahassee and my best friend’s daughter lives in Maryland. I know. It’s almost unfathomable they knew each other. On the last day of our trip I mentioned I was from Montana. Skytress Kelly told me her daughter spent this past summer working at The Yellowstone Club in Montana. The Yellowstone Club is a private club and resort near Big Sky, Montana. I told Kelly my friend’s daughter worked at The Yellowstone Club this summer, too. What a coincidence! Skytress Kelly inquired about my friend’s daughter’s name. I told her. Skytress Kelly then laughed and said her daughter and my friend’s daughter are sorority sisters at college in Virginia. Say what? Mary and Taylor were also roommates at The Yellowstone Club. Even more unbelievable, Skytress Kelly met my friend’s daughter at Parent’s Weekend. I immediately texted my best friend, Tara, and her daughter, Mary, to tell them I was flying with Taylor’s mom. What are the odds of this happening? Clearly this was my first early Christmas gift for the month.

My next early Christmas present came immediately after this trip. I went to the hotel and changed out of my uniform. My friend Shannon came to pick me up from the hotel. For those of you who are regular readers of my blog, you will remember Shannon and Tara are sisters….and they are my two best friends. I was extremely excited to see Shannon and her husband, Jay. The three of us saw each other a few weeks prior at the Celebration of Life for Shannon and Tara’s mom. Unfortunately, we didn’t get to visit with each other too much that day. Therefore, I was beyond excited to spend the evening with them. Shannon, Jay and I spent part of the evening at their house. It was such a treat to actually sit down and catch up on our lives. We then left for a very scrumptious dinner. The restaurant they chose to take me to was all decorated for Christmas. Everyone in the restaurant seemed to be in a very festive mood. Especially the three of us. The evening flew bye too quickly for all of us. Before I knew it I was back at my hotel getting ready for my trip in the morning. Ah, yes. Trip number two. This trip would be my next early Christmas present.

The next day I headed to Baltimore. I had a 30-hour Annapolis layover. Long layovers can be a reroute bonanza for crew scheduling. I can’t count the number of times I’ve had a fabulous long layover ruined because of a reroute. Remember, my blog is called, “The Rerouted Skytress” for a reason. Let’s just call my second trip of the month a Christmas miracle. I made it to my Annapolis layover as scheduled. I spent the first night at our layover hotel. I’m glad I did. The hotel is adorable. The hotel keys have pictures of students that went to the Naval Academy. My key had President Jimmy Carter’s student picture on it. President Carter was a frequent flyer on our airline. President Carter would walk through the aircraft and shake every passenger’s hand before each flight. How cool is that?

My friend, Tara, came to pick me up the next morning. Yes. My other best friend….Shannon’s sister…the mother of Mary…Mary…who is the sorority sister of my Skytress In-Charge Kelly’s daughter, Taylor. Believe me. It only gets better my sweet friends. Tara and I went to a Christmas craft show on the way to her house. The craft show was disappointing. We each only bought one item. Our luck greatly improved when we stopped in a quaint little shop on our way to Tara’s house. This little shop held a treasure trove of incredible items. Being a great best friend, I encouraged Tara to buy all the magnificent things she found in the shop. Yessiree. I am an enabler! Tara is a marvelous decorator….just like her sister, Shannon. Their houses were both decorated beautifully for Christmas. Talk about one’s surroundings getting you in the Christmas spirit. Oh, boy. I was! Several days before my trip Tara asked me to stay at her house instead of returning back to the hotel. This way I could spend more time with Tara and her family. What a gift this was for me. We all went to a fabulous tapas restaurant for dinner. We were joined by her husband’s business associate and his son who flew up from Florida for the Ravens-Steeler’s game. We had an exceptional evening. I won’t lie….I was loving all these early Christmas presents!

Remember how I stated I was gone for 13 straight days? Clearly that wasn’t my original plan. My original plan was to go home to St. Louis on the 10am flight after our one leg back to Atlanta from Baltimore. A lengthy hydraulic maintenance issue and fog in Atlanta put the kibosh on that plan. I arrived back in Atlanta at 6:30pm. A flight to St. Louis cancelled minutes before we landed. I knew all those passengers would be rebooked on the remaining flights that night. There would be little to no hope for me getting a seat on the remaining flights. I called an audible. I booked a hotel room for the night. I got up early the next morning to go home. I had the jumpseat booked on the first flight to St. Louis. Yessiree. I needed to get home to do laundry and repack my flight bags for my next 6 days of flying. I did get another early Christmas present on my way home to St. Louis. I flew home with my Skytress friend, Regina. Regina, also, got caught up in reroutes and foggy weather the day before. Regina and I had a lot of catching up to do. We talked nonstop. Again…Imagine that! We were both supposed to be on the Skytress jumpseats going home. But, once again, Christmas came early. There was an empty row in the back of the airplane. The Skytresses working the flight invited us to sit there instead of sitting on the jumpseats. What a lovely gift that was!

I flew back to Atlanta early the next morning to fly my next three-day trip. My layovers weren’t too exciting. However, my crew was fabulous. We laughed and sang Christmas songs for three days. Mostly we sang “Frosty The Snowman” because we couldn’t get it out of our heads. I’ll admit. My Christmas spirit was soaring after this trip. I happily headed off to the airport hotel to rest and regroup. I had one more trip to fly before my vacation started. Unbeknownst to me, I had more early Christmas presents coming my way.

My next day started with an unexpected Christmas surprise. I rode the hotel train to the airport with the Harlem Globetrotters. Yes. You read that right. I learned the Globetrotters were getting ready to start their 100th year of touring. Their season would start on December 26th. They would be out on tour until May. Egads! My flying 13 days in a row paled in comparison to their schedule.

I met my next crew shortly after getting off the train. My crew and I would be laying over in Oklahoma City and Madison, Wisconsin. Skytress Michelle mentioned she was going to see her dad in Oklahoma. I mentioned I was going to see my friend, Jason. We weren’t sure what we were going to do on our Madison layover. It was going to be bitterly cold in Madison. Our Skyter In-Charge, Stephen, told us about a pizza place he liked in Madison. Skytress Michelle said it sounded very much like Partner’s Pizza in Peachtree City, Georgia. I laughed. I told Skytress Michelle my friends and their kids worked at Partner’s Pizza. Skytress Michelle then asked me who my friends were that worked at the restaurant. I told her my friend Shannon’s name. Brace yourself my sweet readers. Skytress Michelle is great friends with my best friend Shannon. Skytress Michelle even went to Shannon’s daughter’s wedding in Memphis. Sadly, I missed the wedding because my back went out on me. However, my friend Jason was at the wedding. Yes. Jason, who I was seeing on our Oklahoma City layover!

Jason and I met 21 years ago at our friend’s wedding. My best friend Tara was marrying Jason’s friend, Ivan. Jason, Ivan, Tara and Shannon are my dear friends. I have been flying Oklahoma City trips the last few months to see Jason. I picked up this Oklahoma City layover specifically so I could see Jason again before Christmas. Jason has taken me to some remarkable places on my Oklahoma City layovers. We tried a new restaurant on this layover. I even met several of Jason’s friends who by happenstance chose the same restaurant to go to. Afterwards, Jason and I walked over to the Christmas Market. This was truly a Christmas present for me. Going to a Christmas Market was on my Christmas wish list for this year. Sadly, I didn’t think it was in the cards for me. Christmas was coming too fast this year to fit it in my schedule. I believe Jason was in cahoots with Santa to make my Christmas wish come true. Merry Christmas to me, indeed!

The next day my crew and I flew to Madison. The First Officer was going to meet up with his sister in Madison to watch the Army-Navy game. He invited the crew to join them. The five of us started our three- day trip together. We bonded from the moment we first met. Of course, we were going to join our First Officer and his sister to watch the game. Needless to say, we had a blast. Heck. The entire trip was absolutely amazing! I hated to see this trip come to an end. If I could fly with this crew until I retire, I would do it in a heartbeat.

I’ve always said 13 is a lucky number for me. In my wildest dreams I couldn’t have asked for all the gifts I experienced over those 13 days. I am grateful beyond belief. It’s true. Santa always knows what we need for Christmas. Santa knew I needed my early Christmas presents. My heart and soul are filled to the brim with Christmas joy. Hopefully, Santa also knows I need a billion- dollar winning Power Ball ticket and the 1947 Woody Wagon I saw for sale on Facebook Marketplace. Just in case, I better send an express letter off to Santa at the North Pole. Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas everyone!

Sometimes flying can be mundane. Then there are other times you have an eagle sitting in a passenger’s seat going to Santa Barbara with you. I was careful to use the word, “going” and not “flying”. Yessiree. Lincoln, the American Bald Eagle, left the flying to us.

It’s not everyday you have an eagle as a passenger. Although, my Skytress friend, Cindy, told me she had an eagle as a passenger on her flight in 2001. The eagle was heading to New York for the World Series between the Yankees and the Diamondbacks. However, having Lincoln in a passenger seat was a first for me. Heck. It was the first time for everyone on my crew. We couldn’t contain our excitement. Yessiree. Somehow we had appeased the scheduling gods and they took great favor with us. I’ll never forget the expressions on my crew’s faces when I told them the handlers were going to take Lincoln out of his carrier after the flight so we could get photos with him. Everyone was beyond giddy. Thank you scheduling gods! More importantly, thank you Lincoln’s crew!

When I heard we were going to have an eagle on board our airplane, I assumed the eagle would go in the cargo bin of the aircraft. I cannot express my shock and wee bit of confusion when I learned the eagle was going to be in the cabin with us. I still couldn’t fathom it when I saw Lincoln’s carrier. It was huge! It took two handlers to bring Lincoln and his carrier on the aircraft. It took two Comfort Plus seats to accommodate the carrier. It took three seatbelt extensions to strap the carrier in the seats. Not surprisingly, it only took a half second for me to know this was going to be a flight to write about.

I knew everyone on the airplane had questions about the eagle. Especially, me. So, I inquired on behalf of everyone. I quickly learned Lincoln was the eagle’s name. He was traveling with his handlers from the American Eagle Foundation. They are based out of Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. They all were traveling to Santa Barbara for an event the next day. Lincoln’s parents were eagles at the sanctuary. Although Lincoln was born at the sanctuary, he was to be released to live in the wild. Unfortunately, Lincoln started to rely on humans for food when he was living in the wild. Sadly, Lincoln began to starve. Fortunately, Lincoln was found and brought back to health. He was eventually returned to the American Eagle Foundation. It was ultimately determined Lincoln could never be an eagle in the wild. Instead, he would travel with the amazing people at the American Eagle Foundation educating the world about eagles. Oh, he would also soar around the Lincoln Financial Stadium during the National Anthem at the Philadelphia Eagles home games. Yes. There is that, too. And Yes. Lincoln was named after the stadium.

I learned another eagle, Challenger, used to do the stadium fly overs at the Philadelphia Eagles games. Challenger was actually the first bald eagle in history trained to do stadium fly overs. Challenger retired a few years ago. I learned from Lincoln’s handlers that all eagles have their own personalities. Challenger didn’t like the wires stadiums now have positioned over the football fields for overhead camera views. Challenger, also, got cataracts. Thus, his vision was impacted when conducting fly overs. When Challenger retired, Lincoln’s career took flight. Fortunately Challenger, along with over 40 birds at the sanctuary, is still an education ambassador.

Lincoln always travels with four amazing humans. The team rotates who travels with him. He has a release person. He has a person to measure the wind speed. He has a person to catch him when he lands. He has a person to keep an eye on him at all times when he is flying. Just like us humans, Lincoln has his favorites. This fact made me smile. As you can imagine, it’s not easy traveling with an eagle. The team was extremely gracious. I found their jobs and Lincoln to be very fascinating. I’ll admit. Curiosity got the best of me. I asked a lot of questions. I even apologize to them for this fact. Thankfully, they all responded they loved to answer questions. It how they educate everyone. I know I definitely learned a lot!

Lincoln did squawk when he first came on the plane. It was the ultimate icebreaker for the passengers seated around him. The Santa Barbara passengers relished the fact they were traveling with Lincoln in the cabin. Everyone laughed each time Lincoln squawked. Many passengers took pictures with Lincoln’s carrier. I could only imagine the stories they would tell their families and friends about our flight. However, once Lincoln was settled in, he slept the entire flight. His carrier is dark and cool. It’s the ultimate sleeping conditions if you’re an eagle. It’s not the ultimate sleeping conditions if he is staying in a hotel room. No siree. Lincoln stays in a hotel room with his handler. I discovered his handlers move the furniture around in the hotel room to accommodate Lincoln and the perch he sleeps on. They always place a blanket under his perch. I was told they feed Lincoln dried rodents and fish. I’m sure Lincoln would love our Biscoff cookies even more. But, then again, I have never had dried rodents. So, I am just surmising.

If you are wondering, I have been flying longer than Lincoln. Lincoln is 27 years old. Most eagles can live to be 50. Thus, Lincoln will eventually fly longer than me. Of course, we will rival each other for the best flying stories.

I discovered Lincoln, as well as other eagles, get their white head feathers when they turn five years old. This is also when their beak and eyes turn yellow. Lincoln’s wing span is 8 feet long. His wings are much longer than mine. My Skytress uniform wings are 3 inches long. The Airbus 220 wing span is 115 feet 1 inch. Sorry Lincoln. Facts are facts.

Sometimes when we land in Santa Barbara we get an actual gate with a jetway. Most times, however, we park remotely from the airport. When this happens a portable ramp is brought to the aircraft for deplaning. This was the case when we arrived in Santa Barbara. Lincoln’s handlers placed his carrier on the wheel base and rolled him ever so gingerly down the ramp. The crew followed closely behind. We were eagerly awaiting for Lincoln to emerge from his carrier. We were told to stand a few feet back from the carrier. We did just as we were told. No one wanted to mess up our introduction to Lincoln. We could hear Lincoln squawking as the handlers unlocked his carrier. His squeals sounded like a seagull. Lincoln slowly emerged from his carrier. Then he flapped his majestic wings. I was gobsmasked. Never in my life could I have imagined standing on the tarmac with my crew watching an American eagle flap his wings to say hello. My heart was racing. Lincoln’s handlers happily asked for our phones so they could take pictures of the crew with Lincoln. I know we all were experiencing a very surreal moment. Then the handlers said they would take individual pictures of us with Lincoln. We couldn’t have been more excited. I stood watching each crew member and ramp agent get their photos taken with Lincoln. I was overjoyed for everyone. My phone was having a go of it trying to take pictures on the dimly lit tarmac. So I switched to video. Or so I thought. I was soaking in everyone’s moment with Lincoln looking beyond my phone. Unbeknownst to me, I forgot to push the record button! Fortunately, my mind was recording everything. I think it was even better that I wasn’t just focused on my phone. I was taking in the entire surroundings. No phone video could record the energy, excitement and gratitude surging through my body. One of the handlers causally mentioned that bald eagles are only native to North America. I smiled with pride when I heard this. How could I not with Lincoln mere feet away?

Lincoln was placed back into his carrier. Lincoln’s crew knew we were ready to get to our layover hotel. We knew they were ready to get to their hotel, too. It had been a long day for everyone. Still part of me didn’t want the evening to end. I knew the rarity of this experience. The nine of us walked with Lincoln in his carrier across the tarmac to exit the airport. We were one crew. Then as it happens with all crews…we eventually parted ways. Lincoln and his crew went to retrieve their luggage inside the airport. Our pilots climbed into their hotel shuttle. We Skytresses climbed into our hotel shuttle. Our magical evening had come to an end.

Since our flight to Santa Barbara, I’ve read up on Lincoln, the American Eagle Foundation and bald eagles in general. I learned eagles mate for life. I found this intriguing. I like this fact. In a small way I will be connected to Lincoln for the rest of my life, too. Lincoln’s handlers encouraged us to come to the American Eagle Foundation to see all the bald eagles and other non-releasable birds at the sanctuary. I hope to visit one day. I’m not sure Lincoln will remember me. But, you can bet, I will never forget Lincoln.

I know when we enter Heaven we are greeted by God. It’s a reunion unlike any reunion we have ever known. A gazillion times better than any Skytress-Skyter reunion at any crew lounge or airport. And we all know those reunions are epic! After we are bathed in the pure love of God, we are greeted by our family and friends that have passed before us. That reunion is Heavenly….But, of course! I know God will stand back and rejoice even more. Then a short time later he will take us by his Fatherly hand and walk us over to his treasure chest. God understands the joyful celebration in Heaven upon our arrival home. He, also, understands the sadness and grief taking place with our loved ones on Earth because we are no longer with them in body. So, God gently opens up his treasure chest. He tells us we can choose any sign we want to let our loved ones on Earth know we are safe and happy in Heaven. God is gracious. He lets us select the perfect sign for each person. God knows our Earthly family will be looking for signs. As children, we meticulously searched for the perfect treasure in the dentist or pediatrician’s treasure chest to take home with us. In Heaven, we will meticulously and lovingly search for the perfect sign to send to our loved ones on Earth. The signs will be plentiful. Best of all, we can send them anytime. God’s treasure chest is as infinite as his love.

When my Dad went to Heaven he knew exactly the perfect treasure to send me. He sent me snow. Beautiful ethereal snow. Snow globe snow. My Dad knew snow makes me happier than happy. The moment I saw the first snowflake I knew my Dad had sent it specifically for me. My Dad was…and is…the best Dad.

When my friend Japes passed away I was sitting in the Target parking lot. I was saying a prayer of thanks to him for encouraging me with my blog. When he was extremely sick, Japes, took the time to write me a beautiful note. As I was thinking of Japes and how much his friendship meant to me, the most glorious rainbow appeared over the Target parking lot. I know without a doubt, Japes picked that rainbow out of God’s treasure chest just for me.

When my beloved Ron went to Heaven he picked out a beautiful red cardinal out of God’s treasure chest specifically for me. Ron knew my affinity for cardinals. As I sat outside on our patio talking to Ron, a red cardinal poked his head sheepishly out of a bush. It stared right at me for a long time and didn’t move. I looked at the cardinal and said, “ I see your sign Ron Paden. I’m going to be okay”. Then the cardinal flew closer to me. It was a treasure my heart absolutely needed.

I know Ron and my Dad frequent God’s infinite treasure chest. I can picture their mischievous grins as one, or the other, picks out a Heavenly sign to brighten my day. I can hear their laughter as I spy their Heavenly sign and recognize it from one of them. Yessiree. I surely treasure God’s treasure chest…. as much as Ron and my Dad do.

This past Saturday morning I was looking out our kitchen window. I saw a beautiful butterfly fluttering around the flowers and patio table. I sensed it was trying to tell me something. What, I did not know. I eventually sat down at the kitchen island. The butterfly came closer to the patio door. It was flying all around determined to keep my attention. I continued to watched it. It gave me such a peaceful feeling. A moment later I received a text from my dearest friend, Tara. She texted me that her mother, Mary, had passed away that morning. Tara and her sister, Shannon…my other dearest friend…were sitting with her when her soul went to Heaven. I knew at that moment Mary had been in God’s treasure chest. A butterfly was the perfect sign for Mary to send me to confirm she was safe and happy in Heaven. Today, when I was writing this blog post about Mary, another butterfly landed on my knee. I took numerous pictures of it. Five minutes later it gently flew away. Yessiree. Mary was definitely in God’s treasure chest again. Before it flew away, I talked to the butterfly. I thanked Mary for all the wonderful things she had done for me. I’ve known Mary since Tara, Shannon and I were three and four years old. Mary was not only a mother to Tara, Shannon and her daughter Maura,….she was a bonus mother to me, my sisters and brothers. For this I am eternally grateful.

Mary was not only a wonderful mother. She is the person responsible for me becoming a Skytress. Becoming a Skytress was never…ever… on my radar. I’ve talked to many Skytresses and Skyters, who since childhood, dreamed of their office being 35,000 feet in the air. I, on the other hand, dreamed of my office being at Rogers Centre. An executive office as the owner of the Toronto Blue Jays. I admit. I, also dreamed of my office being the front seat of a Secret Service Agent’s black SUV. Yessiree. Those were my dreams. Incredulously, when I graduated from college the prospect of me being the owner of the Toronto Blue Jays was grim. I’m proud to state I secretly held on to my Secret Service dream. However, that’s story for another day. After I graduated the prospect of me using my Business Communications degree in Advertising and or Public Relations was grim, too. Unfortunately, the economy was in a downturn. Companies were getting rid of their Advertising and Public Relations departments. So, I decided to pivot and go to law school to become a sports attorney. Amazingly, Mary intervened with another plan. She suggested I apply to become a Skytress at her Air Line. Egads! Becoming the owner of the Toronto Blue Jays seemed more achievable for me than becoming a Skytress. I was not Skytress material. My height and weight were far from the Air Line’s requirements. Yessiree. Even in the 1990’s airlines had height- weight restrictions. Heck. Based on my weight, my height would need to be twenty feet tall to meet the height to weight ratio. Give or take a few feet, of course. I didn’t want to let Mary down. She believed I could become a Skytress, so I believed. I worked out 2 hours in the morning. Two ours in the evening. I tried my hardest not to gain any muscle. I was smart enough to know muscle weighed more than fat. For once, fat was my friend. I ate a bagel for breakfast and then sustained myself with Diet Coke until dinner. After a couple of months, I was at my height- weight requirement. Shortly thereafter, I flew out to Los Angeles for my Skytress interview. A few days later I got my rejection letter. Yessiree. Mary knew I would be a great Skytress. Unfortunately, the people conducting the interviews in Los Angeles did not feel the same way. In my heart I knew I had failed Mary. I felt worse about this than not getting the Skytress job.

To this day, I don’t know what favors Mary called in. But, a few days after my rejection letter, Mary called and told me I had another interview with the Air Line in Atlanta. Truthfully, I shouldn’t call it an interview. I never really interviewed with anyone. I went into a room with two amazing Skytresses who repeatedly told me how much they loved and admired Mary. They measured my height and weight. They nodded in agreement when they gave me an extra half-inch on my height. An extra half-inch meant I could have an extra 3 pounds on my weight. A little buffer would be great they told me. They asked me if I would like to go to training the following week. I was gobsmacked. These beautiful, kind, funny ladies were telling me I had the Skytress job. They told me I would need to pass the hearing test and vision test. But, as far as they were concerned, I was bumping them up in seniority. My head was swirling. Long story short, I passed my tests, got my acceptance letter and days later I was at the Training Center in Atlanta. Yessiree. This all happened because of Mary. Thirty- six years and a million marvelous memories later, I am still thanking Mary for changing the trajectory of my life. I admit. This afternoon I had grateful tears in my eyes when I told the Heavenly butterfly, “thank you”. Ah yes, butterflies. They are the most perfect Heavenly sign from Mary to me. Butterflies are insect aviators. Mary knew I would get the airline connection immediately. God knows I most certainly did!

I know people will emphatically say the Bible doesn’t mention God’s treasure chest of Heavenly signs. Not one word. They will argue the signs we believe are from our loved ones in Heaven…. are just coincidences. These people will proclaim we read too much into Heavenly signs to find respite from our unfathomable grief. I would never question someone’s beliefs when it comes to God or the Bible. Their faith is their faith. I, however, know the first person to place a treasure chest in a doctor’s or dentist’s office got that Devine inspiration from God. How did God know a treasure chest would be the perfect thing in an office to bring comfort and joy to those who received a gift from it? Silly, he knew from having his own Heavenly treasure chest. That is what my faith tells me. So, I will continue to look for my Heavenly signs from God’s treasure chest. I know each sign will be filled with eternal love from Heaven. What a glorious treasure from God to us. Amen!

I have been remiss about blogging lately. Unfortunately, a few weeks ago I got Covid. Understandably, I was down for the count for a few days. Then I got a severe sinus infection and was down for the count for another few days. This was followed by my annual FAA training. All Skytresses and Skyters know productivity of any sort is null and void until training is officially over. Yessiree. We become fixated on the stress of the impending training. Basically, we are rendered useless for days. As you can imagine, it’s been a whacky couple of weeks to say the least. Don’t feel too bad for me, though. I was able to fly an Anchorage trip with my Skytress friend, Nicole. We had grandiose plans for our layover. And goodness glacier, did we have an outstanding time.

Skytress Nicole is based in New York. However, she tries to pick up some trips out of Atlanta. You may remember, Nicole and I drove to Santa Fe on our Albuquerque layover. You may, also, remember Nicole had to be the Skytress In-Charge on that trip. Skytress Nicole rarely flies as flight leader these days. Goodness glacier! The things we do in order to fly with our friends. I’m happy to report Nicole didn’t have to fly in-charge on this trip. No siree. We hung out together in the back of the aircraft counting the minutes…well, actually the hours…until we landed in Anchorage.

Skytress Nicole and I made reservations prior to our trip to go on a tour to see the Portage Glacier. The tour included several stops along the Turnagain Arm and the Alaska Wildlife Conservation Center. Our tour would start at 1pm. That meant we had time in the morning to hang out in Anchorage. Goodness glacier! I love hanging out in Anchorage.

Our morning started with a stop at The Kobuk to get a cup of Samovar tea. It was a nice way to spend time before we headed to the Snow City Cafe for breakfast. Unfortunately, I made a rookie mistake and didn’t put our name on the Snow City Cafe waitlist when I first got out of bed. Locals and frequent visitors to the Snow City Cafe know if you aren’t at the cafe as soon as it opens, you are doomed to wait for a table. Goodness glacier. Our wait time was 45 minutes! Luckily for Nicole and me, it was a beautiful Anchorage morning. We visited The Kobuk and then meander into a few other shops as we made our way to the Snow City Cafe.

I’m sad to say this visit to the Snow City Cafe didn’t go without a glitch. We waited an exorbitant amount of time for a server to come to our table. Yessiree. This was uncharacteristic of the typically exemplary Snow City Cafe service. Then we waited forever for our meals to arrive. I have no doubt our food was ready to be served in record time. Unfortunately, our server wasn’t ready to serve it. Egads. Our food arrived lukewarm. I have no doubt the restaurant would have taken care of this issue. Unfortunately, we were now facing a time crunch. Goodness glacier. We didn’t have a second to dawdle….let alone wait for a new hot meal. We needed to hustle to the tour pickup point or forfeit our day of adventure. One thing Skytresses and Skyters are taught early on in our careers, never be late to pickup. Especially when glaciers are involved.

Our driver for the day was Gary. Gary is a New York transplant. However, he is definitely an Alaskan at heart. Gary told us he moved to Alaska years ago and hadn’t looked back. His knowledge of Alaska and Alaskan history was very evident. When tsunami alerts started popping up on our phones, Gary explained that tsunami alerts are very common in Alaska. However, he did pull over to make sure we were safe to continue on with our day. Goodness glacier. I never would have expected a tsunami to reroute our tour. Fortunately for us, the alert was for an area 600 miles away. Yippee! There would be no reroute for the Rerouted Skytress….or for everyone else in the van. Not surprisingly, the drive along the Turnagain Arm was breathtaking. I didn’t know whether to look right or left. My mind was finding it difficult to comprehend how each turn of the road was more beautiful than the last. All of us tried to capture the exquisite beauty on our cell phone cameras. Incredibly, each photo paled in comparison to what we were actually seeing out our windows. Goodness glacier. Alaska simply refused for it’s spectacular beauty to be captured in a photo.

Driver Gary explained to all of us that the weather could change drastically a few miles outside of downtown Anchorage. Fortunately, the intermittent fog and drizzle we were experiencing on the drive didn’t dampen our enthusiasm. No siree. It made us appreciate the mystique of Alaska even more. Driver Gary eventually pulled over at Explorer Pond. I’ll admit. When Gary pulled over I wasn’t expecting to see a hidden gem. However, after walking a few steps down a nondescript path we were rewarded with a view that left me gobsmacked. The pond was filled with beautiful blue-green glacier water. Driver Gary made sure we all got a photo of ourselves standing at the edge of the pond. The fog and misty rain made this stop feel magical. I could only surmise what the pond and surrounding mountains would look like with sunny weather. I surmised it would be utterly stunning.

Driver Gary drove a little further down the road to the Portage Lake. We were about to board the boat to see the Portage Glacier. Nicole and I were extremely excited. Before the cruise started Nicole and I used the restroom on board the boat. I’ll admit. When I washed my hands I was shocked how cold the water was coming out of the faucet. It actually made me chuckle. Heck. I am convinced my hands would have been warmer if I had washed them in a bucket of ice.

Skytress Nicole and I sat inside the boat for a few minutes after we pulled away from the dock. However, we knew the best views were going to be outside on the top deck of the boat. And we were correct. The views were unbelievable. We completely ignored the light rain that was falling. My heart raced as we came closer to the Portage Glacier. Waterfalls dotted the landscape in several directions. Yessiree. The waterfalls were magnificent gifts from the glacier. The Captain slowed the boat down and pulled in close to the glacier. He then cut the engine. And if I didn’t know better, he pulled a lever to stop the rain. It was a fascinating coincidence. The rain completely stopped. I had to keep reminding myself I was looking at an actual glacier. It was surreal. I, also, had to remind myself this glacier had been here for ages. Incredibly, we were only seeing a very small part of the glacier. The Portage Glacier is 6 miles long. I learned the glacier used to fill the Portage Valley. The Portage Valley is 14 miles long. The crew had a small piece of the glacier on deck for us to touch. It looked like a chunk of ice from an ice sculpture. Goodness glacier! The tour was exceeding all my expectations.

Our adventure continued after we left the cruise. We drove to the Alaskan Wildlife Conservation Center. The center is home to injured and orphaned wildlife, such as, moose, reindeer, elk, bears, bison, muskox and bald eagles. I’ll admit. The bears tried their very best to be elusive. Thankfully, Driver Gary provided us with binoculars. Thus, I was able to see all the bears as I stood at the van door. It was the perfect height and angle to see them all. Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to take a photo. But, I did have enough time to create a memory of a lifetime. Another memory….I finally saw an Alaskan moose up close. The only other moose I had seen up to this point in Alaska was a moose eating in the distance at the airport. The moose at the conservation center seemed unfazed by us staring at them. I kept telling myself these were not docile animals. Their powerful legs could kill me if given the opportunity. Thankfully, the opportunity never arrived.

Our drive along the Turnagain Arm back to Anchorage could not have been more different than our drive to the Portage Glacier. Yessiree. The sun was shining. The mountains were glistening. More importantly, the water along the Turnagain Arm had receded with the low tide. A few hours prior water was visible all along the road. Now, only mud flats were visible. It seemed like Mother Nature had pulled the plug and drained the water. The extreme water change with the low tide was almost incomprehensible.

I was still trying to comprehend everything we had experienced on our adventure when our adventure sadly came to an end. Yessiree. Driver Gary dropped us off where our tour had begun hours prior. Skytress Nicole and I decided to walked down the street to grab a bite to eat at The 49th State Brewery. Unfortunately, we could see the line was out the door long before we got to the restaurant. We decided to pivot and return to one of the gift shops we stopped in earlier in the morning. Skytress Nicole wanted to get a gift for her mom. Goodness glacier. We were fooled by the Alaskan summer sun. It was much later than we realized. The store was closed. Undeterred, we turned around to head to another gift shop I knew would still be open. Along the way we decided we would try some reindeer sausage from one of the street vendors. I’ll admit. I can’t even count the number of times I have walked by the street vendors on my many layovers. The reindeer sausage always intrigued me. Still, I was hesitant to try the reindeer sausage, just like I was hesitant to try the Yak burger several years ago. I’ll admit. I’m not a huge fan of sausage anymore. Airline sausage ruined it for me many years ago. I’m happy to report I actually did like the reindeer sausage. Yak burgers and reindeer sausage. Goodness glacier. Alaska really does bring out the adventurer in people.

Skytress Nicole did find a gift for her mom at the next gift shop. Then she promptly left it outside at our hotel restaurant. To be honest, we were completely distracted when we left the hotel. Yessiree. We were sitting outside at the hotel when we made a last minute decision to head to Wild Scoops for a scoop of ice cream. We were almost to Wild Scoops when Nicole remembered her gift bag. Fortunately for Nicole and Nicole’s mom, the long line at Wild Scoops made us realize we didn’t actually need ice cream. Instead, we about-faced and went back to the hotel to retrieve the gift bag.

Nicole and I decided we needed to work another Anchorage trip together again. We simply ran out of time to do all the things we wanted to do on this trip. The sun might not rest in the summertime in Alaska. However, we needed too. I’ll admit. There is truth to the sayings, “Alaska, the adventure awaits”….and to “Alaska is calling and I must go”. These sayings tug at my heart every summer. Yessiree. Alaska is an extraordinary place. I eagerly await to hear Alaska’s summertime call beckoning me back. Goodness glacier! I will answer that call in a heartbeat.

Ronald Paden, it’s been several years since your beautiful soul took flight to Heaven. However, like Kenny Chesney’s song says, you still linger in the lives of us that love you. Ron, I unequivocally know where you are tonight. You are in my heart and soul. Just like you have always been….and will always be.

“Wherever You Are Tonight”—-Kenny Chesney

The Rerouted Skytress has returned to her office in the sky. It has taken me six months and two surgeries to get here..but, I’m back! I’ll admit. Knowing I had two long Anchorage layovers on my first trips back, really made the transition much easier for me. My first layover I hung out with my Skytress friend, Kellie. She picked up an Anchorage layover out of Minneapolis. My second trip I hung out with my crew. No one on my crew had ever been to Anchorage. So, I got to play tour guide. This month I may have been a better tour guide than Skytress. Yessiree. I still have to get my rhythm back on the airplane. Thankfully with each flight leg I’m feeling more like my Skytress self. I should be in peak form by September. Just in time to go out on vacation!

I confess I made a major rookie mistake heading out on my first trip. I over- packed my suitcase. I had six months to clean out my flight bags. Yet, I didn’t. Of course, I could have vowed not to buy anything on my layover. But, let’s be real. I’m a Skytress. We all vow we won’t buy anything on our layovers. Rarely do we keep this vow. Heck. Somewhere early in my Skytress career I switched my layover motto to …. “Buy it when you see it. So you don’t regret it later”. Who wants regrets in life? Not me. It does help that crews don’t have to adhere to the passenger one bag-one personal item policy. I did clean out my bags after my first Anchorage layover. Now, that’s a veteran Skytress move. Yessiree. Move out the old to make room for the new. What can I say? With each trip I’m feeling more like my Skytress self.

The scheduling gods were kind to me on my first trip back. Not only was I heading back to Anchorage, I was, also, flying with my Skyter friend, Paul. Paul and I had completely different Anchorage adventures. I spent the day hanging out with my Skytress friend, Kellie. We had coffee at Snow City Cafe. We shopped and walked all around Anchorage. We had a late lunch at the 49th State Brewery. Skyter Paul climbed Flattop Mountain. Then he slid down the mountain on the icy snow to make sure he reached the bottom in time to catch the shuttle back to town. Ouch!

My initial plan on my second Anchorage layover was to take it easy. I started my trip with a swollen knee. I wish I had a great story to go along with my swollen knee. I could have told my crew I slid down Flattop Mountain the week prior with Skyter Paul and hurt my knee. Sadly, I most definitely look like a shopper and not a hiker. I’m sure my crew would have been highly suspicious of my story. Thankfully, the swelling went down in my knee overnight and I was ready to resume my roll of Anchorage tour guide. Everyone knows the first stop on the tour starts at Snow City Cafe. The week before Skytress Kellie and I skipped breakfast. Kellie had to fly the all-nighter back to Minneapolis. We decided we would have a big lunch and forgo breakfast. We, also, wanted to forgo the long wait for a table inside. Instead, we ordered Snow City Cafe coffees to-go and sat outside and caught up on each other’s lives. I think Skytress Kellie and I regretted our hasty decision. Especially after Kellie’s crew went inside and ordered the famous Eggs Benedict. The following week I was a much better Anchorage tour guide. I knew Skytress Jessica had never been to Anchorage. She definitely needed to experience the Snow City Cafe. I’m proud to report we did have breakfast. We didn’t regret our decision, either. No siree! We both ordered the other famous Snow City Cafe breakfast entree….a crab-filled omelette. It was delicious!

A trip to Anchorage wouldn’t be complete without purchasing some souvenirs. Skytress Kellie and I went shopping. The following week Skytress Jessica and I went shopping. We ran into our other two Skyters on our trip in The Kobuk tea shop. They had been out shopping, too. Are you shocked? I didn’t think so! We all decided to pause our shopping to go on the trolly tour of Anchorage. I’ve been on the trolly tour a few times. I love going on the trolly tour. Mainly because I am usually with crew members that have never been on the tour. I love watching them experience Anchorage from the little red trolly. Especially, when we get to watch float planes take off and land on the water. I’m not going to lie….airline people usually geek out a little more watching this than the rest of the people on the trolly tour. My crew was no exception. Yessiree. It made this tour guide very proud, indeed.

Both trips we went to watch the fishermen. The first week there was barely anyone fishing. The water was too shallow. The second week there were more fishermen. There was actually a fishing competition going on. I didn’t see anyone catching fish while we were watching. They were mostly just casting their lines in and out of the water. That’s my kind of fishing. I call it faux fishing. It looks like you’re having a great time fishing….but, you don’t have to actually touch a yucky fish.

Not surprisingly, there are great seafood restaurants in Anchorage. A couple restaurants consistently make the highly recommended list. Truthfully, the weather is going to have to be terrible for me to try these restaurants. The outdoor dining and mountain views at the 49th State Brewery are too spectacular to pass up. This tour guide happily takes everyone to 49th State to experience the amazing outdoor ambiance. Heck. It’s the perfect way to wind down one’s layover. Skytress Kellie and I had lunch here before she headed back to her hotel get ready for her all-nighter to Minneapolis. Skytress Jessica and I had dinner here to wind down after a long day of exploring Anchorage. Yessiree. My salmon bowl tasted like I had just fished the salmon out of the fresh Alaskan water. Well, if I actually fished and not faux fished that is.

I will be flying to Anchorage four more times in July. As you can guess, I’m very excited about this fact. It’s intoxicating seeing the snow-capped mountains as you fly into and out of Alaska….or simply walk around Anchorage. I, also, love the feeling I get jumping up out of bed in the middle of the night and seeing daylight. It brings out the kid in me and makes me all giddy inside. Hopefully, I’ll fly a few more Anchorage trips in August, September and October. I love experiencing the daylight dwindling with each passing day after the summer solstice. Seeing the tourist dwindle with each passing day is also fascinating. Both are sure signs winter is coming. Luckily, I’ll be flying with friends on several of my Anchorage trips. I’m extremely excited about this fact. Heck. It doesn’t feel like work when you are flying with friends. It’s like being on vacation when you are airborne. And everyone knows how much I adore vacation!

Today marks 35 years of me being a Skytress. My, oh, my! I can’t even wrap my head around this statement. I clearly remember the day I walked into the In-Flight Training Center in Atlanta. Clearly I remember a thousand Skytress memories since that day. However, I cannot fathom 35 years have passed. Time has gone faster than a flight from Atlanta to Birmingham. Most days I still feel like that brand new Skytress. At least until a new hire tells me they were born years after I started my Skytress career and my delusional bubble is burst. I’ll admit. There are a few days my Skytress body feels every one of those 35 years. Yessiree. Some days the aircraft door handle becomes a substitute assist handle for me as I go to arm and disarm the aircraft door. Still, today, I approach each trip like I did 35 years ago….with wonder. I wonder how the crew will jell. I wonder how the layover will be. Will we be on time? Or will we be pawns in Crew Reroute’s diabolical plans? I wonder what new thing someone will do that I haven’t seen in my 35 years of being a Skytress. Mostly, I wonder how many times I can say, “It’s occupied” without completely losing my Skytress mind. Egads! There has to be a finite number.

I’ve always said I calculate things using Skytress math. That is how I can be 33-years old even though I have been flying for 35 years. The past few days I have sat down and calculated a few things using Skytress math. I have calculated I have said, “It’s occupied” 74 trillion times in my career, thus far. Interestingly, the statements, “That’s the ashtray, not the door knob” and “push the door” or “turn the handle” has been uttered by me collectively, 157 trillion times. I’ll admit. Those numbers could be much higher. Yessiree. Many days instead of saying anything, I merely watch people struggle trying to get into the lavatory. What can I say? It’s my in-flight entertainment.

In recent years our airline sends out statistics of how many miles we have flown annually. They include how many different types of aircraft we have flown on and how many countries we have been to in the calendar year. However, it doesn’t take in account how many miles I have flown commuting. It, also, doesn’t include any information about miles flown prior to this program being implemented. So, I took it upon myself to do the calculations for my 35 years of flying. I’m sure the numbers will astound you just like they did me. I have flown 124 times to Pluto and back. Give or take a trip to Pluto. However, I still haven’t flown as much as the gentleman in 3A has on any given flight. I base this strictly on his word. Yessiree. They are quite emphatic about flying more than me. However, these passengers have never had to straddle a first-class passenger in the bulkhead seat on the Boeing 727 whilst trying to slide their tray table in the slots on the armrest. Thus, all their frequent flyer miles are null and void. Sorry Mr. 3A.

Sadly, a few things have come and gone in these 35 years. We no longer serve peanuts. Or if you are a true Southerner….goobers. We no longer serve Dr. Pepper. Or if you are a true Southerner…Coke. We no longer serve Caffeine Free Diet Coke, Cherry Coke or Fresca. Or if you are a true Southerner….Coke, Coke and Coke. We no longer have magazines or newspapers on the airplane. We used to have the best selection of both. I’ll admit. Skytresses and Skyters were known to check out a magazine on one airplane and return it several legs later on another plane. No one checked out “Popular Mechanics”. No siree. That never happened. Well, at least I can’t verify it ever happened. We even used to have Bibles on the airplanes. I think we should bring the Bibles back. There are a few people I would nonchalantly hand it to as I handed them their drink. You know, just as a friendly reminder that they are not actually God. Wink. Wink.

I do not miss the days when coach passengers had to pay for their cocktails using cash. I do not miss making change for a twenty or a hundred dollar bill. I do not miss counting the liquor money and doing Skytress math to fill out the liquor report. I do miss going on the scavenger hunt for the deposit box in every operations office on a layover. It was like going into the belly of the beast. The forbidden beast. Well, the forbidden beast unless you had the liquor envelope full of money. Then all were welcomed.

I do miss my original Skytress uniform. It was navy and it was sharp looking. I’ve worn four different uniforms in 35 years. In addition, I’ve worn the company approved black and white uniform pieces when I experienced issues wearing the purple uniform. Interestingly, we can no longer purchase the purple uniform pieces. We can only purchase gray uniform pieces. Thus, I guess one can technically say I have had six uniforms in my 35 years. Ah, yes. Skytress math! I’m pretty confident that number will rise one more uniform before I retire.

One thing that hasn’t changed in all my years of flying has been the marvelous people I work with on a daily basis. Many of these people have become dear friends. We have witnessed the best in people, the worst in people and the craziest in people. We have laughed together, cried together and rolled our eyes in disbelief together. Thankfully, the laughter had been disproportionately greater than anything else. God has truly blessed me. I’m not sure how many more years The Rerouted Skytress will be flying. I do know 35 years crept up on me really fast. I have no doubt retirement will be here quicker than a flight from Atlanta to Augusta. Until that day, I will continue to approach each trip with wonder. I’ll, also, relish the in-flight entertainment of watching passengers struggle with the lavatories. Fingers crossed I won’t reach that finite number of me saying “It’s occupied” either. Although, the circumstances of me completely losing my Skytress mind would really make a great story.

It’s been a month of Sundays since I last published a blog post. Several months actually. For those of you who are wondering…Yessiree…I’m still a Skytress. I’m just a Skytress that is currently out on medical leave. Now you may be saying to yourself, “Self. I thought she came back from medical leave.” And you would be correct. I did fly a couple months after my foot surgery. I actually flew several trips with long layovers. In between, I went to Charlottesville for a much needed long weekend with my dear friend, Tara. Then in December I had surgery on my other foot. Now I’d completely understand if some of you thought I fell off the face of the Earth. Heck. There were a few days I wish I had fallen off the face of the Earth. Oblivion sounds like a very peaceful place. A place with no dirty dishes or laundry that needs to be clean. A place where one that is feeling discombobulated could recombobulate in a very short time. I’ll admit. My life has been a little discombobulated the past few months. Since I didn’t actually fall into oblivion, it’s taken me a wee bit longer to recombobulate myself. Heck. I’m not actually certain I am fully recombobulated. But, I am recombobulated enough to finally write a blog post. Best part is…I didn’t have to fly to Milwaukee for this to happen.

This last sentence may have you scratching your head. Milwaukee? Yes. Milwaukee. The Milwaukee airport has a “Recombobulation Area”. It’s located just past security. Here passengers can calmly put their shoes back on or reorganize themselves and their stuff after going through security. You can’t miss this place. There’s an official “Recombobulation Area” sign overhead. I’m convinced just seeing the sign instantly helps people recombobulate after the dreaded security scrutiny. The sign always makes me smile. The sign makes me think of Ron, too. He constantly joked he was discombobulated and needed to recombobulate. Each time he said this, I’d patiently wait a few minutes. Then I would cheekily ask him if he was finally combobulated. Without fail, he would grin and say yes. Yessiree. We were two peas in our witty little pod. Obviously, being in a state of combobulation is the ultimate goal in one’s life. Being in a state of discombobulation is not. I’ll admit. I was discombobulated before I started writing this blog post. I couldn’t remember what trips I flew and when I flew them. Thank goodness for our handy dandy crew flight app. My brain started to recombobulate as I flipped through each trip. I’ll admit. A good dose of guilt also surged through my body. I shamefully remembered I had planned to blog about my long Portland, Maine layover. Portland has always been one of my favorite layover cities. Especially when I take a side trip to Kennebunkport. Sadly, I didn’t take a side trip to Kennebunkport on this layover. It’s quite possible I was so distraught over not going to Kennebunkport that my brain refused to let me write about my layover. It’s hard to remember these things when you are discombobulated. I do remember eating lobster with the Skytress on my crew down by the water. I even remember I visited my favorite shops several times and happily spent way too much money in each store. Gosh. Now that I think of it, I could have regaled you with several delightful stories from my Portland layover. It would have been an excellent blog post. Darn discombobulation!

I’m certain I didn’t blog about my trip to Charlottesville because I was thoroughly discombobulated before AND after the trip. Heck. My trip to Charlottesville was planned by myself and my dear friend, Tara, so we could both recombobulate mentally, physically and emotionally in one short weekend. Tara and I are currently the primary caregivers for our mothers. We love our mothers. We are extremely fortunate we can take care of them in our respective homes. But, I’m not going to lie. It’s a lot of work. Especially with our mothers both being 85 years old with health issues. It’s a 24/7 job with little to no time off. Talk about being in a state of discombobulation. Everyone with aging parents living with them knows I am preaching to the choir on this one. You also know a few days of respite is constantly on one’s mind. Ah, yes, respite. Tara and I decided we would go to Charlottesville since it was just a couple hours from Maryland where Tara lives. If need be, we could be back in Maryland in a jiffy. Fortunately, we didn’t have any parental emergencies the entire weekend. Alleluia! Tara’s husband made reservations at an incredible restaurant on our first night in Charlottesville. Our meals were scrumptious. We quickly discovered Charlottesville is known for its excellent restaurants. The entire weekend we relished our meals. We, also, relished the fact that we didn’t have to make dinner for anyone the entire weekend. Or do laundry. Or clean. Or a thousand other things you have to do at home. Nope. We ate. We shopped. We enjoyed wine. After all, Charlottesville is known for its numerous vineyards. I’ll admit. The weather was very conducive for sitting outside at a winery to enjoy the exquisite green rolling hills….and some wine. So we did just that. We completely enjoyed our mental recombobulation holiday. Sadly, we had to go home before we got completely combobulated. But, semi-combobulated is better than discombobulated any day of the week.

I did have several long layovers before the end of the year. Each layover I had grandiose plans. I wanted to visit the Air Force Academy on my long Colorado Springs layover. Shopping was on the agenda for my long Omaha and Wichita layovers. I contemplated renting a car to explore the airplane graveyard in Tucson. But, I thought staying in town to explore the campus of the University of Arizona would be more manageable. Yessiree. Those were my plans. In actuality, I slept my entire layovers. Horrors of horrors! I was the layover slam-clicker you hear about. What can I say? Discombobulation is hard. It’s exhausting. It was by the grace of God that there weren’t any hotel emergency evacuations on my slam-click layovers, too. Talk about being discombobulated! Heck. I scared myself profusely each layover when I looked in the mirror. My bed head alone was atrocious! The rest of me was utterly frightful. Fortunately, I was always able to muster up just enough energy to brush my teeth and then head back to bed. I admit. I do have a healthy dose of vanity when it comes to my teeth. Discombobulation, recombobulation, even combobulation will never change this fact.

I felt like Henny Penny before my foot surgery in December. Just like Chicken Little shouting, “The Sky is falling”, I found myself mentally shouting, “Christmas is coming. My foot surgery is coming”. Since I didn’t want to be eaten by a fox like Henny Penny, I did my utmost to outwardly appear cool, calm and combobulated. Fortunately, I accomplished my mission to get the house decorated and fly a marathon of days before my surgery. Talk about a discombobulated whirlwind. At that point I would have loved to have fallen off the face of the Earth. I was utterly spent. My recombobulation post-surgery period consisted of me laying on the living room couch admiring the Christmas decorations. This time my Henny Penny brain was saying, “I need to write my annual Christmas ornament blog”. Heck. I even hobbled over to the tree to take pictures of my ornaments. Then I hobbled back to the couch and never wrote the blog post. Say what?!? I know. My Christmas ornament blog is the easiest one to write, too. Heck. It’s mostly just pictures. I wish I could say the fox ate me like he ate Henny Penny. Thus, preventing me from writing. But, he didn’t. Anyway, I’m certain he would have become thoroughly discombobulated, like me, if he did.

I apologize if my lack of blog posts has left you discombobulated. I wish we could all fly to Milwaukee and stand under the “Recombobulation Area” sign. We would be completely combobulated in no time. Ah, yes. That would be grand. I must caution you to not pack your bags too quickly, though. There may be some more irregular flight operations ahead for this Rerouted Skytress. Yessiree. There is a chance I will have to extend my medical leave. Incredibly, my foot has healed so fast, the new tissue has pushed the screw in my foot loose. There is a good possibility I may have to have the screw removed. Talk about being discombobulated. Heck. I thought the only loose screw I had was the one in my brain. (Insert drum rimshot…ba-dum-bum-tishh ). I’ll keep you updated on this development. So, yes. I can say with certainty….I may or may not be back flying come mid-April. I’ll let my foot doctor make this final decision. After all, she will need to fill out the updated medical paperwork. Sadly, my airline will no longer accept my Crayola Crayon version. I know! They are such sticklers! Heaven knows I will be discombobulated when I do return to my office in the sky. So, if you observe me one minute heading to the forward galley then abruptly turning aft. It’s okay. You can bet your last airline profit sharing dollar I’m not lost….No siree…..I’m just recombobulating.

Alleluia! Our Atlanta base has a new layover. We are now flying directly from Atlanta to Santa Barbara, California. It’s very rare to get a new layover out of Atlanta. So, when one pops up in the bid package, everyone bids it. We all take our chances the new layover is going to be good. If it’s bad, we won’t bid it again. Astonishingly, there is a very small window to find these things out. You may remember it took me a long time to get a Burlington, Vermont layover. Foolishly, I hesitated bidding the layover when it first appeared in our bid packet. Of course, word quickly spread how nice the Burlington layover was. And before I knew it, the senior Skytresses and Skyters were gobbling those layovers up like they were Biscoff cookies. Egads! Fortunately, I had a feeling Santa Barbara was going to be a spectacular layover. Even more fortunate for me, most of the Skytresses and Skyters my seniority or above are mostly flying International trips these days. Less competition from them meant I held the Santa Barbara layover without having to sell my soul. Not surprisingly, Skytresses and Skyters are always curious what there is to do on a new layover. Many specifically asked me what I did on my Santa Barbara layover. Without hesitation, I enthusiastically told them my crew and I looked for Rob Lowe.

I did not intend to look for Rob Lowe on my Santa Barbara layover. Of course, I did my due diligence and looked up things to do in Santa Barbara before I left for my trip. Not once did I read, “look for Rob Lowe”. I even consulted our crew layover Facebook page for layover suggestions. No one, including Skyter Craig, who set up the Facebook page, mentioned to look for Rob Lowe. Believe me, Skyter Craig usually has the scoop on these things, too. Fortunately for me, I was flying with Skytresss Sandee who simply adores Rob Lowe. She was the one that said we were going to look for Rob Lowe on our layover. Shockingly, Skytress Kendra and I didn’t think this was an odd thing to do on our layover. No siree. We wholeheartedly supported this layover plan. Heck. We even met in the lobby early in the morning to go find Rob Lowe.

I should explain that we didn’t look for Rob Lowe in Santa Barbara. Heck no. We took a five minute Uber ride to Montecito to find him. Skytress Sandee, of course, knew Rob Lowe lives in Montecito. Oprah, Katy Perry, Orlando Blum, Gweneth Paltrow, Adam Levine, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle also live in Montecito. But, we weren’t looking for them. Okay. I’ll admit. I did have one eye constantly looking for Prince Harry. After all, it’s Prince Harry! But, on this layover our main layover objective was to find Rob Lowe. Skytress Sandee talked to our Uber driver about Rob Lowe. She even told him we were going to eat at Jeannine’s in Montecito because she knew Rob Lowe frequently eats there. We discovered our Uber driver was from Montecito. He nonchalantly told Sandee he knew Rob and his wife Sherryl. Say, what!?!?! Good thing I had my seatbelt on or else I surely would have fallen out of the car with this juicy information. I was still reeling from this information when our Uber driver pointed out his wife walking their dog on a side street in Montecito. I’ll admit. I truly expected him to point out Rob Lowe walking down the street, too. Sadly, he didn’t. But, that was perfectly fine. Moments later we arrived at Jeannine’s. We were quite confident we would find Rob Lowe inside eating.

Skytress Sandee may have been looking for Rob Lowe in Jeannine’s. But, the three of us were also looking forward to a scrumptious brunch. If I can base how good a meal is going to be strictly based on the restaurant’s appearance…. and truth be told, I do….well, I knew immediately we were going to have a delicious meal in Jeannine’s. The outside of the restaurant was absolutely adorable. The inside of the restaurant was equally adorable. The three of us ordered our meal and sat down at a table. From my seat I was looking directly at a Montecito police officer enjoying his meal. I tried not to blatantly stare at him. But, it was hard not to. He was dressed immaculately. Montecito has money and high standards. Even the police officer looked like he oozed money. He sure oozed police professionalism. I was fascinated with all the local patrons that came in and out of the restaurant. Of course, I tried not to blatantly stare at them, too. Instead, I “casually observed” them as I ate my Santa Barbara omelette and drank my chai tea latte like a local Montecitan. Thanks to Skytress Sandee, my morning couldn’t have started off better. Realistically, I wasn’t sure if we would ever find Rob Lowe. However, I was absolutely sure I wanted to live in Montecito just so Jeannine’s could be my favorite place to hangout.

Skytress Sandee, Skytress Kendra and I left Jeannine’s and walked around Montecito. We walked into several high end shops. Of course, on the outside they looked like normal boutiques. Once inside we quickly discovered they weren’t. Most items didn’t have price tags. I found this refreshing. Why ruin my shopping experience by showing me I couldn’t afford an item? Yessiree. I say,… “Let a gal dream!” Some shops obviously wanted the shopping experience to be filled with laughter. They blatantly attached price tags to their items. Oh my! I’m still chuckling over the exuberant prices. Remarkably, not all the shops in Montecito were outrageous. They were as normal as Rob Lowe. Ah, yes. Rob Lowe. Sadly, we didn’t find Rob Lowe in any of the shops. However, I did find some clay flower pots in a very cute shop that I couldn’t live without. So, I bought them.

Skytress Sandee’s friends recommended that we get a drink at The Honor Bar. The Honor Bar, like so many restaurants in Montecito, have outdoor seating. There were several tables on the patio near a fireplace that looked inviting. But, it was the chairs perfectly lined up on the sidewalk that captivated my attention. It’s a mandatory people watching setup. I mean if Rob Lowe were to walk by it wouldn’t be star stalking at all. No siree. It would simply be the case of one choosing to sip their drink outside. If pedestrian Rob Lowe happened to walk by, well that would just be serendipity…not star stalking. Since it was still a bit nippy outside we chose to sit inside. Skytress Sandee asked our server if she ever sees Rob Lowe. Shocker alert….Of course, she does! She then told us about the other celebrities that call Montecito home. Without skipping a beat, she said they all are extremely nice and down to earth. Her comment didn’t really surprise us. No siree. One of the first things we discovered on our layover was how overtly nice everyone is in Santa Barbara and Montecito.

Our next Uber driver gave us a mini tour of Montecito and Santa Barbara. She was a wealth of information. Skytress Sandee asked her if she knew Rob Lowe. You guessed it….she did. She worked with Rob Lowe on his tv show, 9-1-1 Lone Star. She knew where Rob Lowe lived, too. We told her she better not tell us or show us. That information would be very dangerous in our hands.

We returned to our layover hotel to drop off my purchases and to regroup before we went on our next adventure. Our Uber driver who worked with Rob Lowe had driven us by Stearns Wharf and State Street on our mini tour. We knew we wanted to go back to both places and enjoy the beautiful day. We enjoyed a glass of wine at Conway Family Wines. We sat outside on the deck and talked as we admired the ocean and mountains surrounding Santa Barbara. It was easy to forget we were on an actual layover. I’ll admit. I half expected to find Rob Lowe surfing in the ocean below us. As I sat there I thought of Ron. Several Charter boats cruised by while the three of us were talking. Ron had a dream to become a charter boat Captain. In my mind I could picture him out on the water. On his off time I could picture him surfing. Ron loved to surf. I smiled when I thought of Ron surfing with Rob Lowe. I know. It sounds far fetched. But, if you knew Ron, you knew it was a good probability that it would happen.

Skytress Kendra, Skytress Sandee and I left Conway Family Wines to head to State Street. Several of the Uber drivers mentioned there was good shopping on State Street. And we know….shopping and Skytresses go hand in hand. Before we left Stearns Wharf we stopped in a gift shop so I could look for a Santa Barbara Christmas ornament. Unfortunately, they didn’t have a Rob Lowe Christmas ornament. I know. They completely missed the mark on this one. Instead, I bought a surfing Santa standing in front of a woody wagon. You know how I love a woody wagon! Santa was just a bonus.

Disappointedly, we didn’t find any worthwhile shopping within walking distance to the wharf on State Street. Skytress Sandee even tried to find a winery her friends had recommended. We didn’t find it, either. But, we did find the Melville Winery Tasting Lounge. Skytress Kendra ordered the estate tasting flight. The three of us were thoroughly entertained as the gentleman server explained each wine selection. He used humor to emphasize each distinct attribute of the wines. I don’t know if our server was a certified sommelier. However, he certifiably knew how to sell the Melville wines.

We asked the two servers in Melville’s for their recommendations on where to eat close by for dinner. They both had different opinions on the best place to eat. Ultimately we decided we would eat closer to our hotel at The Reunion Kitchen. Unfortunately, it wasn’t open. Undeterred, we crossed the street to eat at our hotel’s restaurant. We were able to sit outside and admire the beach and ocean. We didn’t find Rob Lowe at the hotel restaurant. However, we did find the wine we were looking for on State Street. Our hotel served it. They also served some of the best focaccia bread I have ever eaten in my life.

We didn’t accomplish our objective of finding Rob Lowe on this layover. But, don’t feel too bad for us. Skytress Sandee, Skytress Kendra and I had an excellent day exploring Santa Barbara and Montecito. We all wholeheartedly agreed that Santa Barbara is a gem of a layover. I’ll admit. I had grandiose plans the following week when I had another Santa Barbara layover. Sadly, I didn’t find Rob Lowe on this layover either. Actually, I never left my hotel room. That wasn’t my grandiose plan. No siree. Unfortunately, I could tell my back was on the verge of going out. I knew bed rest was going to be my best medicine. I know. Just call me Dr. Skytress. I did open my curtains so I could see the ocean outside my window. All day long I watched a plethora of boats pass bye. Believe me. That truly was the best medicine for my Skytress back and Skytress soul. Happily, I have another Santa Barbara layover in October. I vow not to stay in my hotel room on this trip. No siree. I vow to head to Montecito to my new hangout, Jeannine’s. I vow to go back to Emily Joubert’s where I got my clay flower pots and buy something else I can’t live without. More importantly, I vow to find Rob Lowe! Of course, I’ll keep an eye out for Prince Harry, too. I’m sure if I find one, I’ll find the other. Like I said, everyone seems to know Rob Lowe. I’m sure Prince Harry is no exception.

My Skytress friend, Nicole, and I were walking up the street in Santa Fe. A homeless man was walking behind us yelling, “You’re all fakes!” Nicole and I continued walking up the street trying to ignore the gentleman. Still, he kept yelling out to everyone on the street. A kind woman who was standing in a shop doorway called out to us, “Ladies come inside”. Nicole and I stepped inside the shop. The gentleman continued up the street shouting, “You’re all fakes”. I turned to the woman, I smiled, and said, “Some days I think I am a fake”. We all laughed. The three of us stood in the shop for a few more moments. Nicole and I thanked the woman again for looking out for us. Then we left the shop and crossed the street to continue our shopping. I thought about the gentleman when we got back to our hotel in Albuquerque. The truth be told, the gentleman was correct. Nicole and I had been faking it all the way to Santa Fe.

Santa Fe is an hour drive from our Albuquerque layover. I’ve wanted to travel to Santa Fe ever since my Skytress friend, Meagan, took a day trip there on one of her long Albuquerque layovers. I’ll admit. I’ve been looking for a long commutable Albuquerque layover for months. I was excited when got my bid results and saw I would have a long Albuquerque layover at the end of August. I was even more excited when my Skytress friend, Nicole, swapped on my trip. Skytress Nicole is one of my favorite people. I’ll forever be grateful for her friendship and support after Ron died. She was a blessing I never knew I needed. But, God sure did. Skytress Nicole was going to be our Skytress In-Charge for our trip. Nicole hadn’t flown in-charge for 20 years. I knew she was extremely nervous about this fact. I tried to calm Nicole’s fears by telling her I would assist her with the “Skytress In-Charge” position. The passengers would never know Nicole hadn’t flown this position in ages. Yessiree. We would fake that part. I’m proud to report Nicole was so good at faking it, even I forgot she didn’t fly as the Skytress In-Charge on a regular basis. Now that’s the ultimate faker for you! Heck. Nicole was such an incredible Skytress In-Charge…. our crew will never forget there is an “e” at the end of the word turquoise. Unfortunately, I can’t divulge this story due to aviation security protocols. However, if you are a Skytress, Skyter or Pilot….I suspect you are giggling right now.

I can divulge to everyone Nicole and I created a new crew position on our trip. Yessiree. We created the “Lead Aircraft Lighting Engineer”. We officially created this position for Skyter James. Skyter James was, without a doubt, the best Lead Aircraft Lightning Engineer we could have asked for. Yessiree. He didn’t fake this position. Each leg Skyter James would get the Boeing 737-900 aircraft lights to work on the touch screen panel when we couldn’t. I’ll admit. Towards the end of the trip Nicole and I didn’t even try working the aircraft lights. Heck. We knew James had everything under control. This made him an absolute hero in our books! I’ll admit. I did feel a wee bit guilty I got to work with Skyter James more than Skytress Nicole did on our trip. I know for a fact James and I were having loads more fun in the back of the airplane than Nicole was having up front. Each leg of our trip Skytress Nicole had to deal with a problem passenger. I repeat. Every stinking leg! Egads! Unfortunately for Nicole, these passengers simply refused to fake being nice or normal.

Unfortunately for Nicole and me, Skyter James met up with his Aunt and Uncle on our Albuquerque layover. We would have loved spending the day in Santa Fe with him. Heck. James could have been our “Lead Backseat Engineer”. I’m sure Skyter James would have easily figured out how to lower the backseat solar shades on the car I rented. I unknowingly hit a button to make them go up. For the life of me, I never could figure out what button I hit. Embarrassingly, we had drawn solar shades the entire trip back to Albuquerque. Egads! The car I rented was from Turo. Now I’ve rented many cars in my Skytress career. However, I had never rented a car from Turo before. The big advantage of renting from Turo is the fact many hosts will bring the car to your location. Our hotel in Albuquerque didn’t have a designated hotel shuttle to the airport and car rental agencies. Thus, having a rental car brought directly to us was truly convenient. I’ll admit. I definitely felt out of my comfort zone booking through Turo. The process was completely different than renting from other car rental agencies. Of course, I faked it to Nicole that I had everything under control. Dealing with an individual person and knowing you would be driving their car was a wee bit stressful for me. However, I loved being able to choose the exact car I wanted to drive. For months now, I have been thinking about trading in my Suburban. One of the cars I am considering buying is the Genesis GV80. So of course, that is what I rented. My Turo car host, Sarah couldn’t have been more gracious. She texted me recommendations of where to park in Santa Fe. She even gave us restaurant recommendations. Both proved to be invaluable. If she could have given me the heads up about the solar shade button, that would have been perfect. I’ll admit. I may have been the designated driver for our road trip to Santa Fe. But, Skytress Nicole was definitely my designated driving instructor. Sadly, my Suburban doesn’t have the advanced technology features of the Genesis SUV. Good golly. I didn’t even fake how overwhelmed I was with the SUV’s technology. Fortunately, Nicole drives a BMW with many of the Genesis features. Heck. If it wasn’t for Nicole, I’m sure I’d still be at our layover hotel sitting in the car trying to start it.

Nicole and I talked nonstop on the hour drive to Santa Fe. When we arrived in Santa Fe we quickly discovered parking is a major issue. Fortunately for us, our Turo host suggested we park the car in the La Fonda Hotel parking garage. So we did just that. Astonishingly, we didn’t have any plans when we walked outside the parking garage. I know. Who comes to Santa Fe for the day without a plan? Well, Skytress Nicole and I did. Heck. Who needs a set agenda? Sure. We had a very basic idea of what we wanted to do. The rest of the day we just faked it like we had a well- thought out plan.

I knew I wanted to visit the two famous churches in Santa Fe. The Cathedral Basilica of St. Francis of Assisi and the Loretto Chapel. We visited the Cathedral Basilica first. The gentleman at the information desk gave us a quick history lesson on the Basilica. On the gentleman’s suggestion, Nicole and I walked to the small adobe chapel located on the side of the church. The adobe chapel is an original part of the church from 1714. Although it was small in size, it was simply beautiful. In fact, the small altar and artifacts housed in the adobe chapel made it feel extremely special. I felt very peaceful standing in the chapel. Nicole and I lit candles. I lit a candle for my Dad and Ron. I suspected Nicole lit a candle for her Dad. Neither one of us mentioned who we lit our candles for. But, God knew. My heart swelled when I saw Pope John Paul II’s Zucchetto on display. I immediately thought of my Dad. My Dad, sister Patti, and brother Brian were blessed to see Pope John Paul II when he came to St. Louis on his papal visit in 1999. My Dad was a very proud Catholic and cherished his faith. These days I cherish the fact my Dad not only got to see the Pope, but, saw a future Saint.

After feeding our souls at the Cathedral Basilica, Skytress Nicole and I headed to The Shed to feed our hungry bellies. The Shed came highly recommended by several people. Skytress Nicole and I ate in the adobe hacienda part of the restaurant. This part of the property dates back to 1692. Admittedly, I knew before I saw the menu that I was going to have chicken enchiladas. Ron loved making enchiladas. Dios Mi’o! Ron made excellent enchiladas. Try as I might, I can never make my chicken enchiladas taste as delicious as his. So every opportunity I get to have enchiladas, I do. Nicole and I both ordered the chicken enchiladas with the Christmas sauce. Santa Fe is known for it’s Christmas sauce. Christmas sauce is red and green enchilada sauce on your food. Boy, oh boy! The Christmas sauce made me as happy as a child on Christmas morning.

I was just as happy when Nicole and I visited the Loretto Chapel. The chapel is known for its miraculous staircase. Amazingly, Nicole and I experienced a little miracle of our own as soon as we sat down in the chapel. The audio tape explaining the miracle of the staircase and the history of the chapel started from the beginning as soon as we sat in the pew. I sat and marveled at the exquisite architecture of the chapel as we listened to the audio coming from the speakers. I smiled listening to the story of how the nuns prayed to St. Joseph…the patron saint of carpenters….for a carpenter to come build a staircase for them to access the choir loft. Other carpenters told the nuns it was simply impossible to build a staircase in the church due to the space constraints. Undeterred, the nuns prayed. God listened. The nuns’ prayers were answered. A carpenter did come. He requested he be able to work alone in the church. The nuns granted his simple request. The carpenter miraculously built the staircase without using nails or glue. He built it out of wood completely unknown in the area. When he finished constructing the staircase, he disappeared before the nuns could pay him or discover his name. But, God knew. Isn’t that a glorious story? Nicole and I walked over to admire the miraculous staircase. Then we strolled into the gift shop. I had unyielding faith I would find the perfect Christmas ornament to take home. And I did! Nicole got a Christmas ornament, too. There is no faking it…I’m always happy when my quirky Christmas ornament collecting rubs off on my friends.

Nicole and I walked round Santa Fe after we left the Loretto Chapel. I even bought another Santa Fe Christmas ornament. I know. This doesn’t shock anyone. You might be shocked to know I left my cell phone in the ladies rest room, though. Not as shocked as I was. Egads! I wish I was faking this story. But, I’m not. I left my cell phone in the ladies restroom at the La Fonda Hotel as we were getting ready to head back to Albuquerque. Thankfully it was still there when we ran back to the ladies room. I was still saying prayers of thanks when we arrived back in Albuquerque. I was grateful I had my cell phone and more importantly the Genesis was still in one piece. To celebrate, Nicole and I went to eat pizza. Okay. I faked that part. We went to eat because we were hungry. Of course, we tried to fake ourselves into believing we didn’t have to get up early the next morning to go to work. But, we couldn’t. However in my head, instead of calling it going to work, I called it taking the long way home.

The crew was genuinely excited to see each other in the morning. The crew van chatter consisted of everyone telling what they did on our Albuquerque layover. We were still upbeat when we got on the aircraft. Unfortunately I can’t fake it and say the rest of the day was uneventful. Heck. I already told you about the passengers that refused to fake they were normal and nice. Regrettably, we had a situation on our flight back to Atlanta from Austin that also wasn’t normal or nice. Gee wiz. If Nicole was slightly contemplating flying in-charge again, this situation quelled that. Yessiree. In the rush to close the aircraft door on time, the gate agents in Austin accidentally mistagged several passenger bags. Egads! Skyter James diligently handled one of our passenger’s mistagged bag issues. He along with Skytress Nicole were able to get the gentleman’s bag reunited with him when we got to Atlanta. We aren’t sure what happened to the other passenger bags that were mistagged. I’m fairly certain one day I will be flying a trip when a passenger tells me about the time they checked their bag in Austin and it didn’t show up at baggage claim. Do I fake I have no idea what they are talking about? Decisions….decisions.

There are many times I don’t have any idea how I’m going to make it through a particular situation. I like to say I’ll “ fake it until I make it”. So, again, the gentleman walking up the street in Santa Fe was correct. I am a fake. Faking you know what you are doing isn’t always the worst thing. Heck. I had absolutely no idea if I made the right decision renting a car through Turo. Or even if going to Santa Fe would be worth it. Fortunately, faking our way to Santa Fe turned out to be a blast. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Flying with Skytress Nicole and Skyter James on this trip was blast, too. They are the real deal when it comes to outstanding Skytresses and Skyters. More importantly, they are the real deal when it comes to being genuine caring, compassionate people that love to have a great time. Yessiree. Some things you can’t fake in life. If I ever visit Santa Fe again, I’ll be sure to tell the gentleman walking up the street this very thing.