Every Skytress and Skyter knows the best way to increase the odds of getting rerouted is to make layover plans. Many times Skytresses and Skyters won’t even mention their layover plans for fear the layover gods will hear them. Ah, the pesky layover gods. They are everywhere! Any airline person can tell you…..these layover gods can be very fickle. Thus, the less the layover gods know about layover plans, the better. Many times Skytresses and Skyters will make a quick mention of their layover plans during briefing. Then it’s rarely mentioned again. You see, the layover gods have excellent hearing. If they happen to be in a sour mood…watch out! They relish in making sure if they aren’t having a good day,….your much anticipated layover plans are going to be ruined. Oh, the layover gods wrath. I try to avoid it as best I can.

I thought about the layover gods when I made plans to meet up with my relatives on my short Newark layover. You see, I was giddy at the thought of seeing my Aunt Cathy and Uncle George. Boy, do I love these two! Without trying, my Aunt Cathy is funnier than most comedians. What can I say? She inherited…in spades…the Gaffney gene that makes the world laugh. Her husband, my Uncle George, inherited this gene, too. Which is odd, since he is a “Barnes” and not a “Gaffney”. Nevertheless, when my Aunt Cathy and Uncle George are in the mix,….it’s most assuredly going to be a spectacular time! I didn’t want the layover gods to know this though. So, I made a conscious decision not to speak too excitedly about our plans to anyone. Yes, I was nonchalant when I told the rest of my family I’d be meeting up with Aunt Cathy and Uncle George. Well, I was nonchalant on the outside. As I mentioned before, I was absolutely giddy on the inside! Yes, it’s a fact that the layover gods have impeccable hearing. However, it’s also a fact, the layover gods senses are less astute when it comes to understanding internal giddiness. Thank goodness for this. My internal giddiness was off the charts!

I barely mentioned my layover plans to my Skytress friends when I saw them in the crew lounge. Several of my Skytress friends were flying to Billings, Montana for a 30- hour layover. They didn’t have set plans for their layover. What?…..No plans? I can guarantee the layover gods barely heard they were going to Montana. I held my breath hoping the gods didn’t hear about my intentions for my layover. I know my crew’s interest was barely peaked when I mentioned I would be having dinner with my Aunt and Uncle on our Newark layover. Yep. I was feeling good about my strategy to ward off the layover gods. Our flight to Portland, Oregon was uneventful. I chuckled when I saw my hotel room overlooked a small airport runway. I’m sure the layover gods chuckled, too. Yep. This was the highlight of this short layover. The next day we flew to Salt Lake City. Our pilots flying us to Salt Lake City were also our pilots flying us to Newark. This was a very good sign. Another good sign….we had no delays going into Newark. We were actually going to be early. Woo hoo! The layover gods were clueless.

I’m not sure if the layover gods or I was more surprised when I exited the elevator and saw my Uncle Jay standing in the hotel lobby with my Aunt Cathy. When my niece, Jamie, was a wee little one, she used to call my Uncle Jay, “that funny man”. Yessiree, my Uncle Jay inherited the Gaffney funny gene, too. I was ecstatic. Dinner with my Aunt Cathy, Uncle George and Uncle Jay was going to be stupendous. Take that layover gods! My Uncle George was in the car waiting for us to come outside. I like to think he was waiting in the get-away car. Get away we did! We were off to Pornos for Portuguese food. Wait. What?! No, the restaurant isn’t actually called Pornos. It’s Fornos. My Aunt Cathy told me a story about mistakenly calling the restaurant Pornos after she had gone there for the first time. I thought the story was hysterical. So, of course, I now call the restaurant Pornos Fornos. Which I really shouldn’t do because it’s a phenomenal restaurant. The wait staff was impeccable. I like to think I am an attentive Skytress. But, the wait staff at Fornos made me look like a chump in comparison to them. Eduardo was our primary waiter. We actually had three waiters. Fancy. I know. Eduardo rattled off the numerous dinner specials so fluently, I was flabbergasted. Heck, I usually only have two meal choices in first class. I’m now embarrassed to tell you this,…..but, I have to write down the entree selections and a description of the side dishes on my departure report. And….I constantly refer to my notes as I manifest. I know. Egads!

I know we gave Eduardo and his crew a run for the money. My Uncle George is a self-described foodie. His special talent is making everyone in his presence foodies, too. I love it! We enthusiastically enjoyed an assortment of marvelous cuisine. And that was before our entrees arrived! I barely put a dent in my seafood paella. Not because it wasn’t delicious. No. It was huge! Yes, my seafood paella could have feed 20 hungry people. I was officially stuffed. I had no intention of eating anything else. But,….I couldn’t resist taking a few bites of the Tres Leches cake dessert. It was AMAZING! Then our waiters served us churros and individual cups of melted chocolate. Oh my! I think the layover gods gasped with this unexpected surprise. I know we all did. We didn’t want to be rude so we tried the churros, too. Needless to say, we left Fornos with an assortment of left-over meal containers. It was a miracle the car didn’t tip when my Aunt Cathy put them in the trunk.

The churros with the individual cups of chocolate weren’t the only surprise that evening. No, I learned a few family secrets as we sat around our table with Eduardo and his crew diligently standing by. I have no doubt the layover gods were listening, too. I’m positive they were being thoroughly entertained by my relatives. I know Eduardo and his team were. The first family secret was revealed as we were eating our appetizers. I learned my Uncle George eats his corn beef with ketchup. In all my years knowing my Uncle, this little news has never come to light. Please don’t tell the Irish authorities. We may be forced to relinquish our Irish ethnicity. My Uncle claims it isn’t weird. But, rather delicious. His explanation concerning the ketchup is very convincing. He definitely convinced me to try it this St. Patrick’s Day. I’ll report my findings in a few months. It will be under an assumed name, however. Just in case the Irish Authorities are reading my blog.

My Uncle Jay had me and the layover gods on the edge of our seats as he revealed he is now an actor. Yessiree. My Uncle Jay has officially acted in one production. Unfortunately, he didn’t have any lines. And he has yet to see his work on the big screen….uh, television. But, he got paid. So, that makes him the highest paid actor in our family. Bravo Uncle Jay! I’m sure my niece Jamie will have him star in her next film. My guess it will be a comedy. After all, he is, “that funny man”. Then again, it could be a musical. Yep. My Uncle George spilled the beans about my Uncle Jay being in a musical group with his buddies when he was younger. Yes. My Uncle Jay and his buddies were the Jersey Boys long before the Tony Award winning musical “Jersey Boys” came to Broadway. Again…Bravo Uncle Jay! However, I don’t know who was more gobsmacked….me, Eduardo or the layover gods,….when my Uncle Jay told me about his new hobby of being a horse owner. Actor,…singer, ….horse owner? How could it be Eduardo, the layover gods and I never heard about these things? Yes. My Uncle Jay and his son Derrick are part of a racing group that invests in race horses. Have you heard of the 2020 Kentucky Derby winner, Authentic? Well, my Uncle and his son are part owners. My Uncle Jay jokes that he owns one testicle of the horse. Well, that is one testicle much more than I own. So he wins in my Kentucky Derby book. Obviously, I am going to use my Uncle Jay’s name to get myself some prime seats at next years Derby. You all know how I love the Kentucky Derby! When that doesn’t work, I’ll throw my Uncle Jay’s name around the table as we enjoy our Kentucky Derby themed dinner. Everyone in my family adores “that funny man”.

There weren’t many unexpected revaluations at Pornos Fornos when it came to my Aunt Cathy and Uncle George. Well, except for my Uncle’s ketchup disclosure. My Aunt and Uncle have always been an integral part of my life. My parents always said growing up if anything happened to them, my Aunt Cathy and Uncle George would take care of my sisters, my brothers and me. Thankfully, nothing happened to my parents. But, my Aunt Cathy and Uncle George have always been there for us….spoiling us with their love. They have a uncanny ability to lift our spirits beyond the Heavens. When Ron joined my Dad in Heaven, I wasn’t sure how I could live, much less, go back flying without him. It was my Aunt Cathy who lifted my deflated Skytress spirits with the most perfect imagery. My Aunt Cathy explained when I flew my Dad would be on one airplane wing and Ron would be on the other wing. Together they would keep me balanced and safe. I cannot tell you how many times when I fly I look to one wing and then to the other. I know my Dad and Ron are with me. An overwhelming sense of peace surrounds me and I smile. See, my Aunt Cathy isn’t just funny. Nope. She exudes an abundance of love and inspiration.

When we first sat down at our table, my Uncle George jokingly asked Eduardo what time they closed. He explained to Eduardo we were going to be there for awhile. Then, without skipping a beat, he invited Eduardo to join us at our table. Eduardo was very quick witted. He said we could stay there until 5am and he would join us. Oh, how I wished we could have stayed there until that time. I was hearing family secrets that fascinated me. I learned my Uncle George was told by his daughters he shouldn’t tell waiters and waitresses his name when they introduce themselves at the table. I humbly disagree with my cousins. Especially when it comes to my Uncle George. My Uncle is someone people should remember by name. Yes. My Uncle has a special knack for instantaneously making people feel valued and respected. Heck, maybe if we all start introducing ourselves to everyone we encounter, the world will have a few less problems. Hello world, my name is Eileen. Another golden nugget I learned as we chatted the evening away was divulged by my Uncle Jay. Yep. I learned my parents wedding was the first place my Uncle Jay ever saw stars shining on a ceiling. He was only ten years old and he was mesmerized by them. I was intrigued how the stars made such an indelible impression on my Uncle. Later when I got back to my hotel room, I thought about my brother Sean and I placing glow in the dark stars on our brother Brian’s ceiling. I remembered how we all loved going into Brian’s bedroom at night to look up at the stars. Just like our Uncle Jay, we were mesmerized by them. I didn’t know it then, but, I know now. Being mesmerized by stars on the ceiling is just another wonderful family trait we all share.

I’ll share one more family secret from our dinner. I know as we sat around the table at Pornos Fornos my Dad was in Heaven belly-laughing with us all. I don’t know if my Aunt Cathy, Uncle George and Uncle Jay noticed the lights dim in the restaurant. But, I certainly did. I always notice on special occasions when my family is gathered around a dining table laughing and sharing memories, the lights in the room always dim for just a brief moment. I sometimes joke my Dad is there with us dimming the lights. Only, I know it isn’t a joke. I know it’s my Dad’s sign for me from Heaven that he is with us. I’m positive my Uncle Tommy, Grandpa and Grandma Gaffney were there with my Dad, too. I know they were enjoying my layover as much as I was. Sure, I get to travel the world as a Skytress and explore amazing cities. However, given the chance to go anywhere in the world…or hang out with my family on a layover, I will always chose my family. Yes. My heart is the most full when I gather together with the people I love the most. I try not to say this too loud though. Remember, the layover gods have impeccable hearing. It’s best we just keep this information a family secret.