The Rerouted Skytress

Birthdays are a funny thing. Some people love them. Some people hate them. My brother Brian loves them. Especially his own. Brian starts talking about his next birthday after he blows out the candles on his current cake.

This Saturday Brian will turn 39. Last year he told us he’d like to skip turning 39. Not because he didn’t want to turn 39. No, he wanted to move on to 40. Brian knows turning 40 comes with a much bigger celebration.

My brother Brian has Down Syndrome. He has 1 extra chromosome more than the rest of us. That extra chromosome is filled with extra love, extra kindness, extra happiness, extra laughter, extra hugs, and an extra love of birthdays.

I remember the first time I saw my brother. I was 13- years old. Up to that day, I had been “the baby” of the four Gaffney children. When I first saw him, my brother wasn’t in the nursery like all the other babies I had seen on TV and in the movies. And he wasn’t swaddled in a hospital blanket. He was in the neonatal intensive care unit. He was hooked up to monitors and had a multitude of tubes going into his little body. He was on a small bed with heaters over him. My dad explained to me in a very comforting voice, that in addition to my brother having Down Syndrome, he also had some other medical issues the doctors were checking into. My Dad told me that it was okay to touch my brother and talk to him. That my brother would like to meet me. And so I did. A few minutes later a nurse came in and asked my Dad if they had decided on a name for my brother. My Dad turned to me and asked , “What do you think we should name him?”. Wow. My Dad was giving me the honor of naming my brother. I knew the names on my parents name list. But, I wasn’t sure if they had made a final decision. My heart raced. I took a deep breath. And I said, “Brian Christopher.” My Dad smiled and turned to the nurse and said, ” It’s Brian Christopher Gaffney”. And that is how my brother got his name.

The next day Brian was transferred to Cardinal Glennon Children’s Hospital. It’s one of the best Children’s hospitals in the country. Brian not only had Down Syndrome, he had an enlarged spleen, a hole in his heart, and an extremely rare form of leukemia. Fortunately for us, Brian’s doctor had experience with his type of leukemia. We found out Brian would eventually grow out of the leukemia. No treatment was necessary. While my brother was at Cardinal Glennon, my parents went back and forth everyday to see him. The hospital was 30 minutes from our house. My Mom used to say the car could drive itself back and forth with all the trips they made to the hospital. And weeks later, with my brother wearing the outfit I had bought him, the car did drive Brian home.

Brian met our family friends the first day he was home. From that day forward Brian has been a special part of their families, too. We’ve all celebrated Brian’s birthdays together. Our friends have done the most amazing things with and for Brian. I swear that little laugh of Brian’s makes people’s hearts smile. Brian will never know the incredible impact he has had on so many lives. But, for those of us that have been touched by him, we do know the incredible blessings he has given us.

Brian attended the same elementary and middle school, as me. We graduated from the same high school, too. While in high school, Brian swam on the swim team. Growing up, Brian learned to play hockey and traveled the country with his team. In addition, Brian learned to ski and ride horses. But, his true love is music. It doesn’t matter the genre. Pop, rock, country, Motown, musicals, Brian loves it all. Brian always requests CD’s for all his gifts. Surprisingly, Brian also loves college marching band music. When Brian asked for college marching band CD’s for Christmas we all laughed. His beaming smile on Christmas when he opened his CD”s was worth the hours spent on the computer looking for them . The next year when he asked for more, we were back on the computer finding the CD’s.

Brian has been working at our grocery store for 15 years. It’s his paying job. His favorite job is working up at the high school with the sports teams. When my Dad was alive he inquired about Brian helping out with the sports teams. The athletic director and coaches agreed. These days Brian lives for the football season. He loves leading the team out on to the field and getting the folks in the stands to cheer. Brian has been working with the sports department for over 25 years now. He loves the athletes and the coaches. Some of Brian’s most memorable birthdays are those the sports teams have thrown in his honor.

Our family started weeks ago counting the days until Brian’s 39th birthday. We have our gifts purchased. Including more CD’s, of course. We have the decorations ready. We have the birthday dinner planned. I know what type of cake Brian would like me to make. I even have special candles for his cake. Happily, I know when Brian blows out his candles, he will start planning his 40th birthday. He knows 40 is a special birthday for him. What he may not realize is, every one of his birthdays have been extra-special for us.