It’s summertime. And as the song goes, “The living is easy”. Well, unless, of course, you are a Skytress like me. Then living is most definitely a mixed bag of calm and chaos. Egads! The uncertainty of summertime flying can make my head spin. One minute I’m in the most peaceful state of bliss. Then the next minute my nerves are frayed, and my cortisol levels are shooting up higher than Old Faithful on a summer’s day. I’ll admit. My disposition can change like the weather. Which is ironic, since the weather is usually the catalyst for so much of my angst in the summer. Yep. Thunderstorms have a remarkable way of making a Skytress’ life go sideways. Fortunately, I like to think of myself as the eternal optimist. So, for every black cloud Mother Nature sends my way….I know there is a beautiful rainbow out there, too. Summertime flying is unpredictable. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. Then before you know it, summer is over. If you are a Skytress or Skyter flying in the summertime, this is definitely one for the win column.

The other week Mother Nature was in a surly mood. Yessiree. She decided everyone should have a good dose of thunderstorms. She didn’t care that I needed to get to work. I know. How rude of her! The evening of June 6th, I was heading to Atlanta. I was supposed to commute in the day of my trip on June 7th. However, my early morning flight was proactively canceled the week before. Sadly, our airline has been forced to proactively cancel flights because of staffing issues. Fortunately, it’s been ages since I had to commute in the day before my trip. Of course, my flight to Atlanta became delayed as the afternoon thunderstorms started to roll in. Thank you Mother Nature. When all was said and done my 7pm flight left at 10pm. I got to my hotel room at 1am. I could have deemed this commute as, “sometimes you lose”. Instead, I deemed it as, “sometimes you win”. I won when the delay enabled me to have dinner with my family. I won because I had a hotel room booked. I got a few hours of sleep and a shower before I headed back to the airport for my trip. One of the biggest wins came earlier in the day when I ultimately decided I didn’t care if I ever made it to Atlanta to do my trip. Mother Nature must have admired my moxie. She provided me with the best lighting show I’ve ever experienced outside my passenger window.

I could have swapped my trip so I didn’t have to commute to Atlanta a day early. Only I was looking forward to flying with my Skytress friend, Darnell. I was, also, looking forward to visiting with my friend Brad on my 30- hour Indianapolis layover. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to meet up with Brad. Ah, sometimes you lose. Brad’s boss came to town unexpectedly. I’m not sure if this was a win or loss for Brad. His boss decided to have several unannounced meetings. Unannounced meetings typically fall into the loss category. Well, at least they typically do for me. Brad is the President and COO of the company. Yessiree. It’s good to be President and COO. However, I’m quite positive Brad’s boss would say it’s better to be the CEO. I was curious about Brad’s boss. I knew a wee bit about him. Curiosity got the best of me. I googled Brad’s boss. I learned he has been on the reality TV show, “Below Deck” twice. Of course, I conducted a YouTube search and found some footage. I was mesmerized by what I saw. Yessiree. This was definitely a case of sometimes you win. Brad’s boss may have been on television several times. But, he isn’t a movie star. Mel Gibson is a movie star. And he just happened to be on our flight from Los Angeles to Atlanta the next day. Again, sometimes you win. Mel was sporting a gray beard and mustache. It made him look quite old. This was a loss for both of us! Fortunately for Mel and for me, we arrived early into Atlanta. Better yet. The earlier flight home to St. Louis was delayed. You guessed it. I made it on the earlier flight home. I made it by the skin of my teeth. Nonetheless, I made it. Thus, it was a huge win for me.

June has been a huge win for Skytresses and Skyters. We are now receiving boarding pay. Woo hoo! We do have to board the airplane a few minutes earlier than we did previously. But, most times the gate agents boarded the passengers early anyway. Ironically, with the onset of the boarding pay, we have gone back to serving on ground pre-departure drinks for the passengers. I’ll admit. Skytresses and Skyters find this timing quite humorous. The passengers covet their pre-departure drinks. So, they are over-the-moon delirious with this new development. Skytresses and Skyters loath the on-ground service. So, we are understandably disappointed. I tried extremely hard to appreciate not conducting a pre-departure service during the peak of Covid. Sadly, I can now confirm I did not appreciate it as much as I should have. Having to deliver drinks as passengers trudge past you with their over-size backpacks and suitcases is not ideal. Nonetheless, I try to remind myself we are returning to pre-pandemic life. I prayed for this normalcy for many months. Heck, I prayed for this for years! In the grand scheme of things, we all win with life getting back to normal.

This summer has been filled with an assortment of wins and losses. I won when I got to hang out in Montana. I lost when I got Covid following this trip. My Mom got really sick after I got Covid. Believe me, this was a loss for us all. Thankfully, she is slowly back on the road to better health. Yessiree. I could enjoy my Sioux Falls layover without the fear she would end up in the hospital. I celebrated this win by purchasing macarons from my favorite patisserie on my Sioux Falls layover. For dinner I selected an entree with made with seasonal huckleberries. You know my love for huckleberries. I was in paradise. Paradise means I won on many levels.

They say life is about balance. Most people would be elated if their perceived life wins equaled their life losses. However, I choose to see the abundance in life. I know my wins outweigh my losses exponentially. I wholeheartedly believe positive thoughts and positive energy attracts positive wins into our lives. Yes. Sometimes I lose in life. However, I try to remember during these difficult times, “That this, too, shall pass”. Interestingly, I catch myself saying this quote more times during the summer. Yessiree. Summertime flying is a daunting time to be a Skytress or Skyter. Still summertime is fleeting. Luckily, in a few months I will be hitting my multiple months of vacation. I simply adore my vacation time. Sadly, when I am on vacation the passengers don’t get to experience my quirky, endearing Skytress self. Like I said. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose.

I worked a trip back home to Montana on May 17th. It had been awhile since I had been back in my home state. I was giddy with excitement about my trip. I had a 30- hour Kalispell layover. I had rented a car for my layover and I had a general plan of where I wanted to roam. Fortunately, I had two spectacular crew members that were raring to join me on my adventure. Heck. My adventure quickly became our adventure. We had a wildly spectacular time in the Wild West. I wouldn’t have changed a thing about our trip. Well,….except for me getting Covid. Yessiree. I absolutely would have changed this.

When I got my trip bid results for May, I was ecstatic to see I had two long Kalispell layovers. I had never been to Kalispell. Say, what!? I know it’s shameful to admit….being a Montanan and all. In my defense, Montana is the fourth largest state in America. Thankfully, it only took me a few minutes on Pinterest to get a game plan for my Kalispell layover. I learn by watching several YouTube videos that Glacier National Park visitors would need to purchase a park entrance pass 60 days in advance starting May 27th. Luckily, my layovers were prior to this date. Yeah for me beating the summer rush in Kalispell! After all my research and my Skytress friend Kellie texting me some valuable information, I felt I had a decent plan set for my first Kalispell layover. I decided I would just wing things on my second layover. Oh, and I decided I should start praying to ensure the reroute gods wouldn’t rear their ugly heads. For you all know,….I am The Rerouted Skytress.

Our Montana adventure started off shaky. The hotel clerk informed us we couldn’t use the hotel shuttle to ride to the airport to pick up the rental car. No siree. Apparently, we needed to request the shuttle 24 hours in advance. The clerk fiercely didn’t want to budge on this policy. Egads! But, of course, we got her to budge and she found us a driver. Once we were settled in the rental car, we quickly learned the Armada navigational system had issues. It wanted us to take a right into a muddy field instead of make a left to exit the airport. Skytress Amy quickly put our destination of Whitefish, Montana into her cell phone. In a blink, she had us heading in the right direction. I was eager to visit the quaint western town. Of course, my number one objective was to buy a Christmas ornament. My objective soon became all of our objective. We checked out several shops before we headed off to Crystal Winters. This shop had a little bit of everything. So, I bought a little bit of everything…..besides my Christmas ornament, of course. What can I say? The store had a huge selection of huckleberry item. Here’s a little known fact. I’m a wee bit obsessed with huckleberries. They’re phenomenally delicious!

We all knew rain was in the forecast for later in the day. So, we decided it was best to head to Glacier. Once again, Skytress Amy got us heading in the right direction. Skyter Paul then spotted the game warden. He figured the game warden was heading to Glacier. He was spot on. The three of us had a marvelous time sightseeing on the drive. It’s easy to sightsee when you are relying on the game warden to get you to your final destination. There were multiple quirky sites along the route. We tried to comment on all of them. The whole time though, my heart was pounding from the astounding scenery. The closer we got to Glacier, the more my words failed me. The three of us just kept saying. “Wow! Look at that”. One view was as exquisite as the next. I felt as if we were driving into a fairytale. Everything seemed utterly magical. Yet, it was all very real. The Lake McDonald Lodge and the surrounding log cabins made me feel like I was stepping back in time. I could only fathom the reaction of visitors to Glacier a hundred years ago. However, I believe they would have thanked God for the beauty presented before them just like I was. The three of us walked down to the water and placed our hands in it. It was cold and invigorating. I know Skyter Paul wanted to do his polar plunge. He came prepared to do it. He even got the approval from the park associate. Instead we walked around and took pictures. We ended up going inside the lodge. It was striking. Skytress Amy and I went to the restroom. When we walked back into the main hall there was Skyter Paul playing the piano. The piano was from 1914. The sign on the piano welcomed all to play it. Skyter Paul was entertaining everyone. I couldn’t stop smiling. I stepped away to check out the gift shop. I knew the perfect Christmas ornament was waiting inside for me to purchase. I giggled as I handed the sales clerk my credit card. The visitors inside the lodge were applauding Paul and his piano playing. Yessiree. It was just another magical moment in my magical day.

Most of the roads in the park were closed. The famous road, the Going -to -the Sun Road, will be closed until late June or early July. Snow still covers the road. I’ve learned up to 80 feet of snow can cover the road below. It can take 10 weeks to plow the road in the springtime. Skytress Amy told us about the time she drove the road with her crew on a layover. I tried to image the beauty and the danger of the trip. I was completely fascinated by her story. I vowed to myself that one day I will make this trip. The day we were in Glacier they were forecasting 15 inches of new snow on the mountain tops. I was amazed how quickly the fowl weather moved in. We took this as our sign to move out. Interestingly, I was surprised how sad I felt to leave the park and the God-gifted beauty of the land. But, then again, that’s what my Montana does to people.

We decided we would head to Flathead Lake. Our gate agent had suggested it to us the day before. Skytress Amy looked up the location on her phone. Flathead Lake is south of Kalispell. The SUV navigation system wanted us to head towards Canada. Of course, we followed Navigator Amy’s directions instead. Yessiree. I kept driving south. It humored me how one minute the speed limit was 70. Then in a heartbeat it would drop to 35 miles per hour. Then in another instant it was back to 60 miles per hour. I was marveling at the speed limits and interacting with Skyter Paul and Skytress Amy when out of my periphery I spied another mountain range and below it, Flathead Lake. It was beyond breathtaking. We spotted a sign for a picnic area and we turned off the highway. We were rewarded with a spectacular view of the lake. We were fascinated with the colorful rocks that created the shore. Paul and Amy skipped rocks along the water. I was completely entertained and impressed by their rock skipping skills. We took more pictures as we frolicked on the rocks. Paul and I filled our pockets with colorful rocks. I can’t explain it. I felt compelled to take a piece of Montana back home with me. I’d like to say I chose the rocks. But, I know without a doubt, they chose me.

We decided we would return the rental car and head back to Kalispell for dinner. Unfortunately, we were once again having issues with the hotel clerk and getting transportation back to the hotel from the airport. Skyter Paul secured us a ride with a gentleman picking up his rental car. His name was Emmanuel. Emmanuel means, “God is with us”. As I reflect upon our car ride, I have to smile. God was undeniably with us in the car that afternoon. Our great fortune continued when we headed out to dinner in Kalispell. We went to Brannigan’s Irish Pub. I was tickled to see pasties on the menu. My Mom made these when we were younger. I debated whether to order them. I decided I’d treat myself to them the following week on my layover. Ultimately, we all decided to get the Shephard’s Pie. It was exceptional. It was the perfect meal to cap off the day.

The next morning we received notification that our flight to Minneapolis had been delayed. Our Captain had to go to the emergency room during the night with muscle spasms. We had to wait for another Captain to be flown in to Kalispell. We knew we had very little time to make our deadhead flight to Atlanta once we arrived in Minneapolis. Skytress Amy joked that Paul and I would have to leave our rocks behind in order to make the flight. We encountered some of the nastiest rough air I’ve experienced in a long time on our approach into Minneapolis. At the last minute we had to abort our landing because of wind shear. We went through more rough air on our second attempt. But, the Captain made a perfect landing. While our passengers applauded, I breathed a sigh of relief.

Things always seem to go wrong when you are running late. I couldn’t get my suitcase out of the bin. My suitcase hook was stuck between the bin and the fuselage. Fortunately, Skytress Amy helped me get it unstuck. Then we quickly made our way to the furthest concourse imaginable to catch our flight to Atlanta. When I say this, I mean Skyter Paul ran ahead to make sure the agents knew we were coming. The rest of us walked briskly. Since my bag hook had been messed up in the overhead bin, my bags kept flipping on the hook. I’ll admit. I did question why I packed so many rocks from Flathead Lake. The collection of several new Christmas ornaments and a hefty supply of huckleberry items in my flight bag didn’t help the situation either. Fortunately, the bad weather had closed the ramp area for a brief time. Our flight was running behind schedule. We made it. I sat in my middle seat and I said a prayer of thanks. Then for the next two hours I enjoyed my movies while the passenger next to me coughed, sneezed and blew his nose. I mentioned this to my crew when we got off the plane in Atlanta. I told them I was pretty sure I was going to get this guy’s cold. Skytress Amy tried to make me feel better by telling me the guy probably had bad allergies. This thought made me feel better. …..until Sunday night…. when I started feeling awful, awful, awful.

Sunday night I was making a preliminary itinerary for my second Kalispell layover. I was excited to be going back to Montana. Then I noticed I was starting to feel feverish. I was achy. My head started hurting and I felt a cold coming on. My thoughts immediately turned to my seat mate. I knew I was getting his cold. I questioned my medical diagnosis during the night. A cold didn’t feel this awful. In the morning I decided to take a Covid test. My seat mate hadn’t given me a cold. Nope. He had given me Covid. My test showed a positive Covid result immediately. I was devastated I wouldn’t be going back to Montana. Yessiree. More devastated than finding out I had Covid.

I can’t explain the feeling I have when I am back in Montana. I am proud and honored that I am a native daughter of one of the most exquisite places in America. I am continuously awed by the majesty of the snow-capped mountains. I love the openness and grandeur of the land. The sky is immense, glorious and soulfully impactful. It truly is Big Sky country. Most importantly, my heart is at peace when I’m in Montana. I am fortunate I get to fly back to Montana periodically to experience all of it’s intoxicating wonder. Yes. Montana may be my home state. But, Montana welcomes everyone home. This past trip my Montana welcomed myself and my first-class crew home with open arms. Ultimately, it was too difficult to say goodbye. So we didn’t. We simply said,….until next time, Montana.

Our airline made some pretty big news a few days ago. Yessiree. Our airline will be the first major airline to pay it’s Skytresses and Skyters for the boarding process. Say, what!? You didn’t know we didn’t get paid during the boarding process? Nope. Our pay starts once the airplane door is closed. If you asked the higher-ups at our airline, they will tell you we are getting paid. It just isn’t flight pay. We Skytresses and Skyters have always felt the boarding process is the first part of the flight. Thus, not getting paid for the boarding process never felt right to us. Especially, since it can be the most trying part of the flight. Starting this June this will all change. Yessiree. This pay announcement shocked the airline industry. Heck. It shocked me! I thought I’d be long retired or dead before this day ever came. I know Skytresses and Skyters at other airlines are now very envious of us. It’s been the hot topic of conversation. The pay announcement, also, shocked the general public. I’ve read and heard the comments. People are incredulous we don’t get paid for boarding. After hearing this news, I know some of you are feeling very guilty for making your flight crews work so hard while at the gate. I’m sure some of you are wondering how you right a wrong. Well, Skytresses and Skyters can be very forgiving individuals. Especially, when the path to forgiveness is lined with candy. Well, as far as Skytresses and Skyters are concerned, that is. Yessiree. Candy will do the trick. Of course, we expect the GOOD candy. The path to Skytress and Skyter forgiveness is only lined with the GOOD candy!

I had just arrived in the crew lounge from my commuter flight when I heard about our boarding pay. I was talking to my Skyter friend Kenyon about where we were flying that day. We chatted about this and that. Then Skyter Kenyon mentioned the boarding pay. I was confused. I had no idea what he was talking about. He told me starting June 2nd we were going to get paid for boarding. I was flabbergasted. Kenyon told me there was a company email explaining everything. Ah, a company email. No wonder I hadn’t heard the news. I try not to mess up my off days by reading company emails. Kenyon showed me the email and the pay we would receive. I still couldn’t believe it. I told Kenyon I thought I’d never see this day come to fruition. All airlines have held steadfast with the notion that no one should get flight pay during the boarding process. Heels were dug into the ground on this issue. I did a quick Skytress calculation and this pay is going to really pay off. This pay, along with our pay raise, will enable me to retire a few days earlier than I had anticipated. Oh, yes. We also got a pay raise that went into effect this month. I love when my company gives me money. Lucy from the Peanuts says it best. “How I love the sound of clinking money! That beautiful sound of cold hard cash!”

Obviously, the past couple years have been incredibly hard on the airline industry. Heck. During the height of the pandemic I didn’t know if I would have a job to come back to. I felt extremely blessed this year when our airline gave us all a profit sharing check. For a very long time our airline bled millions of dollars a day. A profit sharing check meant the tide was rolling in our favor again. I am truly blessed that our airline is now in a position to offer us a pay raise and boarding pay. My fingers are crossed that this Valentine’s Day we will receive another profit sharing check. My airline chooses to give us profit sharing checks on Valentine’s Day. Isn’t this sweet? Yessiree. It is!

Of course, a Skytress and Skyters’ life isn’t just about pay raises and profit sharing checks. Nope. It’s also about layovers and flying with sensational people. Fortunately for me, I’ve been winning the jackpot in both of these categories. Yessiree. I’ve been flying with utterly amazing crews. No drama. Just fun. The past few months I’ve flown with several Skytresses I flew with in Cincinnati. It’s been marvelous sharing stories of our Cincinnati days. I even flew with a Skyter that also went to The University of Kansas. Through jumpseat conversations we learned we were in the same dorm our freshman year. We, also, were both in journalism. Even more fascinating….We both took the easiest math course that was required of Journalism students. Ugh, math. Skyter Gavin and I both dreaded math! Obviously, we were destined to be a Skytress and Skyter! Rock Chalk. Jayhawk. K-U!!!

I would have paid good money to see my friend Kristin on my layover. Fortunately, my airline paid me, instead. Did you hear a rimshot, or was it just me?! Badum-Ching! You may remember Kristin and I went through Skytress training together. Then we flew together in Atlanta and in Cincinnati. Kristin may no longer be a Skytress, but, she will always have the heart of Skytress. She was as excited about my Minneapolis layover as I was. It didn’t matter that my layover was short. There was still plenty of time to get together. It, also, didn’t matter that most places were closed by the time we went out. Kristin and I happily headed to Culver’s for some ice cream. As everyone knows, any time of day is the perfect time for ice cream! Especially, Culver’s ice cream. I learned all about Culver’s from Ron. Ron was a Culver’s enthusiast. He would bid the short Milwaukee layover just to satisfy his Culver’s cravings. Yessiree. Culver’s and our layover hotel shared the same parking lot. It couldn’t have been more convenient for Ron. Kristin and I laughed over Ron’s unabashed love for Culver’s. Then we raised our cups of frozen custard and toasted Ron in Heaven. I’m sure Ron had a great chuckle over this gesture. I’m positive he was also a wee bit envious. Heaven is heavenly. But, it doesn’t have Culver’s. At least I don’t think it does!

Now I don’t want you to think this blog post is all about Skytresses and Skyters coming into money, money, money. I do have some fabulous news for you all, too. Yessiree. You, my sweet readers, will also be rolling in the money, money, money. Well, at least if you frequently purchase earbuds on our airline. May 10th we discontinued charging our passengers $2 for earbuds. Hooray! Headsets are now free for everyone. This is not to be confused with the complimentary headsets we gave out during the pandemic. Those headsets were free. Then they weren’t. But, now they are again! Alleluia! Skytresses and Skyters no longer have to whisper to the first-class passengers and Comfort Plus passengers when handing out headsets. I’ll admit. It was always awkward handing out headsets in these sections of the airplane. I tried not to make eye contact with the passengers in the row directly behind Comfort Plus. These passengers would inevitably get excited that I was handing out complimentary headsets. I hated the look of disappointment when I had to explained to these passengers that their headset would cost them $2. Thank goodness. No more looks of disappointment. Now everyone can be happy…..Crew and passengers. Money…money…money in everyone’s pockets. Ah, yes. “The beautiful sound of cold hard cash!”

Alleluia! The day finally came my sweet friends! Tuesday, April 19, 2022, was the first day of my unmasking. Yessiree. For over two years I’ve had to wear a mask in the crew lounge, in the airport, on the plane, and even on the employee shuttle. I’m not going to lie. The unmasking was absolutely exhilarating! More exhilarating than seeing my picture in The New York Times the next day. That was more hysterically funny. However, both things put a huge smile on my face. A smile everyone could finally see!

Ironically, I could have used my face mask on Tuesday. It was cold waiting for the employee shuttle to come. A warm face covering would have come in handy. When I did finally stepped into the employee shuttle, I noticed the driver and two other airport employees were wearing their face masks. In complete contrast, an American Airline pilot and I were not wearing a mask. We sat near each other in solidarity. I noticed the sign in the shuttle now said masks were encouraged…not required. I wondered how quickly that sign had been changed. Just the day before, the Federal Mask Mandate had been overruled. I admired the efficiency of the employee whose job it was to update the sign.

I was curious to see how many passengers and crew would be maskless when I entered the airport. Interestingly, I saw multiple people still wearing masks. So many people were wearing masks that I almost questioned whether we still had to wear one. That was until I saw the TSA agent at the Known Crew Member security lane. He had a huge smile on his face. He was excited to see me without a mask on, too. The psychological heaviness of being required to wear the mask for two years was lifted. We were giddy talking about being able to see everyone’s smiles again at the airport. We, also, knew the mandate could be reinstated at any time. Thus, we relished this moment even more.

I’ll admit. I was a little shocked to see all the Skytresses working my flight to Atlanta still wearing their masks. I almost thought I hadn’t read a required company email stating employees still had to wear face masks on the airplane. But, not one Skytress working my flight said anything to me about not wearing a face mask. So, I headed back to my seat and promptly fell asleep.

The atmosphere in the crew lounge was completely different when I exited the employee elevator. Everywhere I looked I saw smiling faces. It was refreshing to see. I could easily spy all my friends. Everyone was acting like they had just received the best reroute from crew scheduling. Yessiree. No one had to pretend they were still in the process of eating and drinking in order not to have to wear their face masks. As you can see, we are no different than the passengers on the airplane. Heck. I think we all learned this technique from the passengers in the first place. I did observe several Skytresses and Skyters wearing their face masks. They had obviously decided to continue to wear a mask for their own personal reasons. I applaud them. Under other circumstances, I too, may have decided to continue to wear a face mask. After all, my health and my family’s health are why I started wearing a mask in the first place many months ago.

My crew and I briefed before our trip. It was lovely to brief without our masks on. We couldn’t stop smiling at each other. I’ll admit. It was utterly intoxicating. After we briefed, we headed to our gate. Myself and my Skytress In-Charge, Lisa, chose to take the train to our departure concourse. The Skyter on our crew, Kent, decided he would walk to get his steps in. Lisa and I talked while we waited for the train to depart. Just as the doors were closing, I noticed a gentleman taking pictures outside the train. He had multiple cameras dangling around his neck. I thought it was a bit odd he was taking pictures of us all standing inside the train. I wondered if he was a press photographer. This being said, I’ve bared witnessed to more strange things happening at the airport in my career than I can count. Thus, I also thought the man was just an airline passenger taking pictures for whatever peculiar reason he may have had. I’ll admit. The way passengers minds work continuously fascinates me. Heck. It’s one reason I’ve shown up for work these past thirty-two years. Just when I think I have seen it all, I am reminded by some quirky passenger that I haven’t.

As soon as my crew and I stepped on board the airplane, our Captain greeted us by saying, “ It’s great to see all your smiling faces”. Of course, this made us smile even more. The newfound freedom from not having to wear the face mask was evident. It was even more evident as the passengers boarded. Half the passengers wore face masks. However, the half that didn’t, wore smiles that lifted my spirit higher than it has been on a plane in a very long time. I’ll admit, though. It was an adjustment seeing people smiling on the airplane again. I actually had to squelch the urge several times to tell passengers to put their face masks on. Not surprisingly, I haven’t seen this many passengers this happy traveling on an airplane in years. Everyone wanted to talk about seeing everyone’s smiles. It was a beautiful sight to behold.

The second day of our trip I was sitting in the gate area waiting for my crew when I decided to check my Facebook page. My Skyter friend, Joseph, had direct messaged me. He included a photograph with his message. He wrote, “I think your picture is in The New York Times”. Well, Joseph was right. I was gobsmacked. There I was standing inside the airport train with my Skytress In- Charge, Lisa. My first thought was, “He was a press photographer!” I couldn’t wait for my crew to get to the gate to show them the picture. When they arrived and saw the picture, they were as gobsmacked as I was. Skyter Kent was grateful he had walked to the gate. He teased Skytress Lisa and me about our new found fame. Skytress Lisa asked me to text her the picture so she could share it with her family. Yessiree. We were having great fun over the picture. Skytress Lisa told our Captain about the photograph as we introduced ourselves at the agent’s podium. I could tell the Captain wasn’t sure if we were teasing him about the photo or not. When he saw the photo he immediately congratulated us on becoming famous. We joked about the photo while we briefed and set up the airplane for our flight. One silly comment led to another. If nothing else, The New York Times photo was providing us with a lot of entertainment. The next day when we were getting ready to head back to Atlanta, the Captain made a very humorous PA. Well, humorous to us. The passengers had no idea he was mostly amusing our crew. He told the passengers our crew was one of the best at our airline. Thus, we were part of The New York Times expose on flying without the mask mandate. He stated our crew’s photograph was in The New York Times article. He proudly informed the passengers they could ask for autographs any time during the flight. I’m not sure if anyone looked up the photo on their phones or iPads. I am positive not one person asked us for our autographs, though. This was expected. Still it was humbling. For a moment at least. Mostly, we were still having a blast kidding each other about the photo. For weeks my Skytress and Skyter friends have been wondering when flying was going to be fun again. Flying this trip was a huge step in the right direction.

Sadly, for over two years, flying hasn’t been much fun for airlines or for passengers. However, I am extremely proud of the numerous protocols my airline established to insure the health and safety of our employees and passengers. I believe we continue to be industry leaders in this regard. As we all know, Covid is still around. The uncertainty of this virus still has us all on guard. I pray we won’t have another variant that will slow down the world again. I hope we don’t easily forget the millions of people who lost their lives to this virus. Nor forget their families and friends. Covid has shown us all how a virus can change the world in a matter of days. I know the likelihood of having to wear face masks and socially distance again is great. I don’t take for granted the privilege we now have to choose to either wear a mask or not when we fly.

Obviously, I am overjoyed we are no longer required to wear face masks. What you may not know is, I’m over the moon because I can once again wear my earrings while at work. Yessiree. I stopped wearing my earrings while I was flying. Unfortunately, I had one too many earrings get pulled out while I was adjusting my mask. Sorrowfully, it wasn’t worth the effort of putting them on after awhile. Nothing was more irritating than realizing I had lost another earring on the airplane. Okay. There are many more irritating things. But, when I was looking around the lavatory and the galley for a rogue earring, I sort of lost my perspective.

I was wearing my earrings in the New York Times photograph. Although, you can’t see them. I know because I’ve zoomed in on the photo enough times to tell. What can I say? Fame makes you do crazy things! You may be asking yourselves if having our photo in The New York Times made up for having to wear face masks on the airplane for the past two years? Nope. It did not. However, it did make the transition back to flying maskless more enjoyable. Many of you know I love to tell people when things make my Irish eyes smile. Well, my sweet friends….my Irish eyes are smiling these days. Delightfully, I really don’t have to tell you this. No siree. Thanks to my unmasking, I can now happily show you!

April 7th, was the second anniversary of, “The Rerouted Skytress” blog. I celebrated this anniversary in true Skytress fashion. I woke up at 4am. A short time later, I worked a flight from Los Angeles to Atlanta. After we took off I had a good fright. I thought my flight home to St. Louis had canceled. So, I quickly booked a flight home for the next morning. Upon further inquiry, I discovered the flight app hadn’t updated the date. My flight home was still going as scheduled. The flight had canceled the day before. Whew! Well, not whew for the people on that canceled flight. My apologies to those passengers. After we landed in Atlanta, we had a three-hour sit. So, I finished my required quarterly computer training. I had already completed several hours of the training while I was sitting in the crew lounge before my trip. That day the lounge was full of rerouted Skytresses and Skyters. The only place in the lounge that wasn’t crowded was the computer room. I took this as a sign from God that I should start my training. I’ll admit. Sometimes God sends me obvious signs. After our sit, we flew to New Orleans. On our way back to Atlanta we had a medical situation. Yessiree. It always happens on the last flight home. Thankfully, we landed just in time for me to make my flight home to St. Louis. I did manage to celebrate the second anniversary of my blog before I boarded my flight home. Yessiree. I raised my chocolate protein shake box and toasted the glorious occasion.

I admitted in my first blog post that I wasn’t sure if anyone would ever read my blog. But, that didn’t stop me from writing it. Starting a blog was something I had to do for myself. I’ll admit. I had a personal goal of writing my blog for one year. Well, as you know by now, I’ve exceeded that goal by one year. See, Skytresses and Skyters CAN do math! Well, at least this kind of math. The old days of “liquor -money counting math” was a completely different beast. I know my senior Skytress and Skyter friends are saying “Amen” to this statement. Oh, and “Amen” to not having to whisper up and down the aisle anymore asking passengers if they had change for a $20. But, I’ve digressed. I want you all to know I’m truly humble that you, my sweet friends, keep reading “The Rerouted Skytress”. Yessiree. I’m blessed beyond words. I know Ron’s Dad, Papa Ed, is my most loyal reader and commenter. Papa Ed, this means more to me than you will ever know. Again,…I am blessed beyond words. I’ll have you know, not all commenters are like Papa Ed. No siree. I receive numerous comments from people I don’t know. Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem. However, most comments are written in broken English and have nothing to do with my blog post. Many come from a site called “Hairy Styles”. They are obviously spam. However, they do give me a chuckle. Nonetheless, it’s quite refreshing when I get to push the button to permanently delete these comments. I’ll admit. I’d like to respond back to Hairy Styles in broken English. Just once to be funny. However, I’m pretty confident this one response would open up a can of worms for me and my blog. Sadly, I’m not tech savvy. I have enough issues with my blog posts without bringing Hairy Styles into the mix.

Now that I am writing this, maybe Hairy Styles has been messing with my blog. When I was on vacation last month I reread some of my earlier blog posts. I discovered some of my blog pictures are randomly missing from some of my posts. I have no clue why this is the case. I know I need to contact my blog service to find out the answer. Only I hate dealing with technology people….when it comes to technology issues, of course. Otherwise, I find them perfectly fine people. Unfortunately, when it comes to my technology issues, I squirm at the thought of talking to them. Technology people incorrectly assume since I have a blog, I have an inkling of web technology. Silly people. They have no idea I publish my blog on a hope and a prayer. Heck, I still print out my blog posts after I publish each one. Yessiree. This is how a non-techie “backs up” their blog site. Don’t laugh. It’s worked for me for two years. Why ruin a good system?

I believe I am going to have to start rereading my older blog posts more frequently. Yessiree. After two years, it’s becoming a little foggy for me as to whether I’ve already written about something or not. This slight case of doubtfulness doesn’t surprise me, though. Heck. I have a Skytress brain. Yessiree. Most days, while I am serving passengers from the beverage cart, I can remember multiple drink orders, who I need to bring headsets to, and which seat monitors I need to reset. In complete contrast, on other occasions I’ll ask passengers what they want to drink. Then before the scoop of ice hits the glass, I’ll completely forget what they just told me. Yessiree. That’s called Skytress brain. If I do happen to repeat a story or two, I apologize. Then again, a great Skytress or Skyter story always bears repeating. Just ask any Skytress or Skyter! I’ve been a Skytress going on thirty-three years now. I still laugh at the story of the Skytress falling out of the airplane galley door. She did this on two separate occasions. Both times she fell down onto the ramp. Believe me. I’ve heard this story more times than I can count. It never gets old. No siree. It only gets funnier. I’ll try to remember to write about this story in another blog post. I apologize if I forget. But, remember……I have a Skytress brain.

I’ll admit. I do miss the early days of writing my blog. I loved writing my blog with The Hallmark Channel or the Cowboy Channel on in the background. Mostly, I loved all the free time I had to write. Yessiree. Being on a company leave during the early days of the pandemic had it’s perks, Heck. If there hadn’t been a pandemic going on, it would have been the perfect summer. These days I mostly write my blog while I’m killing time in the crew lounge, or when I am on my commuting flights. I know passengers are curious when they see me typing away for the entire flight. I’m pretty sure they think I am writing up flight reports. I’m sure a few may be thinking, “ Good golly! I’m glad I wasn’t on THAT flight”. Then again, others may be thinking, “ Good golly, I wish I had been on THAT flight”. Little do they know, I am writing about THAT flight and other Skytress stories for all of you to read about on my blog. This will be our little “ The Rerouted Skytress” crew secret. Oh, yes. After two years, you are no longer passengers on my blog. You are most definitely my favorite crew.

The third year of “The Rerouted Skytress” is ready to take flight. However, just like a Skytress or Skyter sitting on airport standby,…my blog destinations are unknown. As any good Skytress or Skyter can tell you, we are flexible. We love a good adventure. Well,…most days. All of this bodes well for me and my blog. I suspect there will be a few reroutes along the way this year when it comes to my blog, to flying, and with life. Heck. After all, I am The Rerouted Skytress. I’m certain there will be a plethora of fascinating stories to write about thanks to having an office at 35,000 feet in the sky…..with a plane full of unusual…..I mean…interesting passengers. If the passengers fail to provide me with stories, I know the rest of the world will not. I look forward to you all being a part of my crew again this year. You are my favorite people to fly with and share stories with. My sweet Ron said it best. “Let’s have a great trip.” I’ll definitely raise my chocolate protein shake box and toast to this!

Well, my sweet friends, it’s been a month of Sundays since I worked a flight. But, I’m back being a Skytress again. My poor crews. I promise I’ll try to make the reintegration period as painless as I can. I’ll admit. I adored my time away from being a Skytress. This Skytress didn’t leave St. Louis once in my month of Sundays off. You may be wondering what I did to keep myself busy. There was a lot, I tell you. Since a picture is worth a thousand words, and I am slowly transitioning into the real world, I’ll show more than I write this blog post.

I spent an abundance of time with my dog Finley. We took an abhorrent amount of car rides. I drove. It snowed one day while I was on vacation. I’m not sure which one of us was more excited about the snow. Finley would say it was her. I’m not sure which one of us was more sad to see it melt. Finley would say it was her, too. I may beg to differ. But, I’m not going to argue with Finely. After all, she rules the roost.

It’s never too early to start thinking about Christmas. Well, at least it isn’t for me. I went to one of my favorite stores to look for pots for some house plants. I didn’t find any pots. But, I found my spheres for my Christmas decorations. I, also, gathered up a bag full of pine cones off the lawn to use this Christmas. I have no idea what I will do with them yet. But, last year I had to crawl under the pine trees in the freezing cold to gather cones for a project. Yessiree. I lived. I learned. I froze. Thus, I picked up the spring pine cones.

I made Irish soda bread for St. Patrick’s Day. Then I made it again several days later after I asked my Aunt Cathy for her recipe. Why I haven’t asked her for it until this year, I’ll never know. I lived. I learned. More importantly, I learned I will be making her recipe from here on out.

I went to the St. Louis Symphony Orchestra with my sister, brother, nieces and our friend, Madeleine. The symphony was playing music by composer John Williams. If you don’t know who John Williams is, it will behoove you to look him up. The symphony started off with his iconic Olympic theme. Yessiree. I almost thought I was at the Olympics. Thankfully, for all in attendance, I did refrain from doing an Olympic somersault. The Symphony then played John Williams film scores from Harry Potter, Jurassic Park, E.T., Superman, Indian Jones, along with other much loved film scores. The symphony ended with a soul stirring rendition of Star Wars. Need I say more? Yes, I need, too. Cellist, Alvin McCall left me speechless when he played the theme from Schindler’s List. It was one of the most beautiful things I’ve had the privilege to hear in my lifetime. I held my breath the entire performance. Well, actually, McCall’s playing took my breath away. And left tears in my eyes.

One day I bought several pieces of pottery from renowned potter, Peter Wakefield Jackson. Then several days later when he announced he was taking pre-orders for more pottery, I bought several more pieces. Rest assured. Peter hasn’t heard the last from me.

I caught a ferocious fever while I was off. No. It wasn’t the flu or Covid. It was a severe case of spring cleaning fever. For days the Amazon delivery man left boxes of slim black velvet hangers on my porch. I took such delight in organizing closet after closet. Sadly, I had only organized two closets when my best friend, Shannon, told me she wants slim gray velvet hangers for her closets. I had never thought about slim gray velvet hangers before in my life. But, now I must have them. Don’t worry. The Amazon delivery man won’t be delivering them to my doorstep any time soon. I’ve set my sights on some storage boxes. He’ll be delivering them for awhile, I’m sure.

My spring cleaning fever morphed into a case a spring planting fever. I bought several new bushes for the yard. Like Arnold Schwarzenegger, I told the people at the nursery, “I’ll be back”. Yessiree. I want to plant more bushes. Sadly, I just ran out of vacation Sundays.

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you know I pray a lot while I’m on the airplane. Yessiree. I pray before we take off. I pray before we land. I’m constantly praying for our passengers. I ask God to keep them safe as they travel to their final destinations. I’ll admit. There are flights I pray to God to convince some of our passengers to choose another airline to fly. I, also, pray I have a good crew. Graciously, God answers this prayer 99% of the time. Every trip I pray I make my flight home. Thankfully, God answers this prayer 99% of the time, too. The past few weeks, however, I have spent most of my flying prayer time, praying for the people of Ukraine. Actually, I spend most of my day praying for the people of Ukraine. These prayers are followed by prayers for all the beautiful people around the world helping the Ukrainians. For days now, the song, “Let There Be Peace on Earth” has been replaying on a constant loop in my head. Peace. Yes, Peace. Oh, how I pray for peace for the Ukrainians. “The Peace that was meant to be”.

I watched the closing ceremonies of the Olympics with a unsettling feeling. I couldn’t forget the image of the Ukraine skeleton athlete, Vladyslav Heraskevych, holding a sign with his country’s colors that said, “No War in Ukraine”. It was heart wrenching. I wanted to cry as International Olympic Committee President, Thomas Bach, spoke, “ This unifying power of the Olympic Games is stronger than the forces that want to divide us: you give peace a chance. May the political leaders around the world be inspired by your example of solidarity and peace.” Sadly, I knew Vladimir Putin wasn’t listening. Yet, I prayed, “Let There Be Peace on Earth”.

As Ash Wednesday approached, Pope Francis called on Catholics around the world to pray The Hail Mary to the Blessed Mother for peace. I am Catholic. We refer to the Blessed Virgin Mary as the “Queen of Peace”. I took Pope Francis’ words to heart. As the song goes,….I knew peace had to begin with me. More specifically, I knew peace had to begin with me praying The Hail Mary. I’ll admit. The Hail Mary isn’t an easy prayer for me. It should be. It’s a short prayer. But, by golly, for a short prayer, I can really mess it up. I used to keep a copy of the prayer in my flight bag because it frustrated me so much. Yessiree. I had too many occasions when the prayer would pop into my head while I sat on my Skytress jumpseat. I’ll admit. I would get stuck praying The Hail Mary after the first three lines. Oh, I could easily remember the ending of the prayer. It was the middle that was fuzzy. The more I tried to get the prayer right, the more flustered I’d get. So one day I looked up the prayer and wrote it on a piece of paper. I put the paper inside my flight calendar with other prayer cards I had stashed inside. Yessiree. I’m a good Irish Catholic Skytress…..Who happens to have difficulty remembering The Hail Mary. This past Ash Wednesday I was flying. When I got to the airport I Googled The Hail Mary. I took a screenshot of the prayer. I prayed it repeatedly. I’ll admit. I repeatedly prayed it mostly to memorize the prayer. I knew I wasn’t really praying with intention. Later that day I took another screenshot of the prayer on my company Skytress phone. When I, The Rerouted Skytress, got rerouted, I repeatedly prayed The Hail Mary on my two deadhead flights. However, this time when I prayed, I prayed with intention as I thought about the people of Ukraine. Yes. I prayed to the “Queen of Peace” for peace in Ukraine. All the while hearing the song lines, “With God as our Father, brothers all are we. Let me walk with my brother, in perfect harmony”.

My crew and I got to our hotel in Fort Myers just before midnight. I didn’t want to disturb the hotel guests in the adjoining hotel rooms. Thus, I didn’t turn on my television to catch up on the war news. Instead, I decided I’d do a quick check of my Facebook and Instagram accounts before I headed to bed. I scrolled by multiple images and stories of support for the people of Ukraine. I cried tears of sadness, love and anger. War is awful, awful, awful. I was exhausted from a long day of being a Skytress. I knew I needed to go to sleep. I told myself to put my phone down. But, then I saw a picture of Maksim Chmerkovskiy from “Dancing With The Stars” and something told me to click on his Instagram story. I did…..I was riveted for the next few hours.

Maksim Chmerkovskiy was reporting from Poland. He had just escaped Ukraine by train. He felt guilty because he was leaving his homeland. He, also, felt guilty because he is a big man. He was completely aware of the fact he had taken up valuable space on the train. Space that could have been used for another woman and child to evacuate Ukraine. He revealed how he stood between train cars for 17 hours so he wouldn’t take up valuable space inside. Yes. It took him 17 hours to reach Poland by train. His story was compelling. He explained numerous things about Ukraine and it’s people. He spoke about the horrors of war. He said he couldn’t go into details. He was trying to keep himself focused. He admitted he would need extensive therapy to deal with the atrocities he had witnessed. I couldn’t fathom what he had experienced. I couldn’t fathom what the people of Ukraine were experiencing. I just knew my heart broke for them. I watched Maksim’s other posts. They were captivating. I decided to follow Maksim on Instagram. I yearned to understand more about the insurrection and how it was affecting the people of Ukraine. Maksim promised he would show the reality of war that regular television couldn’t show. I went to bed anticipating a new post from Maksim when I woke up. I’ll admit, though. I was ill-prepared for what I saw the next day.

Early the next morning I decided to go sit outside on my hotel balcony. I relished the warm temperature. I was mesmerized by the sun glistening on the water. It was utterly peaceful watching the boats cruising just beyond the harbor. I almost forgot I was at work. I took my cell phone and iPad outside. I thought writing in such a beautiful setting would be a treat. Before I opened my iPad to write, I decided to check my Instagram. I clicked on Maksim’s post. I was stunned. I was watching videos of war unlike anything I had ever seen. Maksim was sharing videos from his friends in Ukraine. I couldn’t understand what was being said. Sadly, war doesn’t need a language. Maksim said he is not a soldier. He promised instead to use his cell phone as a weapon against the Russians. His weapon on choice was irrefutable. His Instagram posts pierced my heart. I cried. I was blatantly aware of how privileged I was at that moment. I was safe at a beautiful hotel watching boats on the water. Meanwhile the people of Ukraine were trying to stay alive. Oh how, I prayed for the people of Ukraine. Oh how I prayed for peace.

Unbelievably, we are now several weeks into the war. In this time, I’ve watched and read more about the ugliness of war than I care to know. Conversely, I’ve watched and read amazing stories of people from around the world coming together to support the people of Ukraine. The outpouring of humanitarian aide has left me speechless. I chose several organizations to assist financially. Oh, how I wish I could help every single person and organization I’ve learned about these past few weeks. Every gesture is a vow of support for the Ukrainians and their fight for freedom and peace. I’m proud to see sun flowers and the yellow and blue colors of Ukraine displayed in solidarity everywhere I look. My heart has swelled as I see cities around the world light up their buildings in yellow and blue. It’s a simple, yet impactful gesture. When I flew home to St. Louis our airport was lit up in yellow and blue. I’m not sure how many passengers saw the lights. But, I did.

War is ugly. I pray this war is over soon. I pray the people of Ukraine will be able to go back to their homes and rebuild what Vladimir Putin has so selfishly destroyed. Sadly, too many families have been destroyed and will never be made whole again. My heart aches for them. Yes. For weeks I’ve had the song, “ Let There Be Peace on Earth” playing on a constant loop in my head…. as if I am trying to will it to happen. I’m reminded as I write this, during Catholic Mass, we offer the sign of peace to each other. We turn to each other and say, “Peace be with you”. These simple words reflect how we wish each other to live in this world. People with peaceful hearts. People living with peaceful spirits. People living in a peaceful world. Peace. Not war. Yes. “Let there be peace on Earth, the peace that was meant to be”. May peace return to the people of Ukraine. The peace that used to be.

It finally happened, my sweet friends. I got a new cell phone. Yessiree. I no longer have to carry my crew cell phone, along with my personal cell phone, just to take pictures on my layovers. Yep. My new cell phone has a functioning camera. Alleluia! I’ll admit. The anticipation of getting a new phone was extremely confusing for me. I had been looking forward to getting a new phone for weeks. As the days approached, I found myself becoming very melancholy. I had my old iPhone for years. I spent countless hours talking, texting, Googling, and taking pictures with it. My old iPhone captured many memories for me. Of course, many of those memories involve memories of Ron. Getting a new phone in the past was so simple. Heck. I looked forward to talking and texting with Ron on a new and improved cell phone. Sadly, I won’t be able to do this with my new phone. Ugh. I never knew how complicated my emotions would become as I pushed the “purchase now” button.

I remember when I was a little girl in Cincinnati, my friend, Liesl, told me her Mom, Kathleen, didn’t want to get a new answering machine. The old machine had a saved message from Liesl’s grandmother on it. Liesl’s grandmother had passed away months prior. Kathleen cherished hearing Grandma’s voice on the saved message. Yessiree. Kathleen could push the “saved message” button whenever she longed to hear Grandma’s voice. I didn’t quite comprehend it at the time. Sadly, I did after my Dad passed away. Unfortunately, I don’t have any saved messages on my phone or answering machine containing my Dad’s voice. I was naïve. I didn’t think the day would come so soon, when I, too, would long to hear my Dad’s voice. I did learned from this oversight, though. I saved my texts and voicemails from Ron. I even took the extra step and backed up Ron’s voicemails before I setup my new phone. Luckily, everything transferred over very nicely on to my new phone. Whenever I long to hear Ron’s voice, I open my phone and listen to his voicemails. Hearing his voice calms me. It makes me smile. It fills my heart. I thank God for this privilege. I, also, thank Alexander Graham Bell.

I know Alexander Graham Bell had no idea how far communication would evolve after he spoke those famous words, “Mr. Watson-Come here- I want to see you.” Heck. Mr. Watson was hearing Mr. Bell’s voice from a telephone in an adjoining room. I know he never fathomed someone using a phone 35,000 feet in the air to talk to someone down on Earth. I pretty much can guarantee he never conceived people would use phones to conduct their banking, take pictures, listen to music, purchase items, play games or save the sound of someone’s voice. Heck. I never fathomed it. And I watched the Jetsons as a child! These days new phone technologies happen so fast it boggles my mind. I’m sure my new iPhone will be out of date in a matter of months. Heck. It probably already is. Truth be told, I purchased my last iPhone in 2015. I’m not embarrassed by this fact at all. Hey, I learned from the best not to rush out and purchase the latest and greatest new cell phone. The “best” was Ron.

I used to tease Ron that the Smithsonian wanted his cell phone for a historical phone exhibition. This didn’t bother him one bit. He loved his flip phone. I would chuckle at his archaic emoji’s that were made from punctuations and symbols. I’m convinced if Alexander Graham Bell had given Ron the first telephone from 1876, Ron would have used it daily until 2018. I still remember the day Ron was forced to get a new cell phone. He sent me a text with a real honest to goodness emoji. I was gobsmacked when I saw the little yellow emoji smiling back at me. Of course,….I still have the text.

My airline company phone is, also, an iPhone. Its’s an iPhone 12. I knew when my airline phone was newer than my personal phone, an upgrade was necessary. Thankfully, I was forced to learn numerous new tricks on my company phone. So, the transition to my personal phone has been much easier. Unlike, my personal phone, I cannot make actual calls on my company phone. Say, what!? I know. I’m positive our airline knows we Skytresses and Skyters would be talking on them all the time. Especially while we are on the airplane working. And that folks, is a major no-no. I’ll admit. I’ve gone into the lavatories a time or two to make an urgent call. Yessiree. The smart people, better known as Skytresses and Skyters, know the lavatories are a makeshift phone booth. The brazen people, better known as passengers, just talk on their phones from the comfort of their passenger seats. I’m pretty sure Alexander Graham Bell, would have been one of the brazen people. One can be brazen when one invents the telephone, though.

I’ve been a Skytress long enough to remember when our company installed the first phone on the airplane for passengers to use. The phone hung on the wall and passengers had to swipe their credit card to use it. Mostly, though, it was a decoration on the wall that passengers stared at. Rarely, did anyone use it. When a passenger did use the phone we would talk about them in the galley. We all knew the passenger was using the phone to impress someone. We were rarely impressed. Now if the same passenger came on the plane with treats for the crew, we would have been overly impressed. You see, folks. This is how Skytresses and Skyters minds work. I’ll admit. There was a whole lot more galley gossip when our airline installed phones in the passenger seats. And galley gossip was usually combined with a lot of eye rolling on our part, too. None of us wanted to hear a conference call at 35,000 feet while we were trying to serve. I’ll go as far as to say, even the passengers didn’t want to hear the conversations of their seat mates. Alexander Graham Bell might have been the nicest person I ever met. But, if he picked up the phone from his first-class armrest to call Mr. Watson, we would have still rolled our eyes and gossiped about him in the galley. Now,….if Mr. Bell handed us candy before he made the phone call,…….

Alexander Graham Bell may have imagined every household having a telephone. But, did he ever imagine every passenger having a phone and using it on an airplane. Probably not, since the first commercial airline came into existence after he died. But, I digress. I never imagined every passenger having a phone and using it on the airplane. Nor, did I ever imagine I would have to become the phone police. Egads! At least if we had guns like the real police, we could shoot the phone talking offenders. Of course, we would only shoot the annoying phone talking offenders. Some conversations are actually pretty interesting. Yes, my sweet friends, Skytresses and Skyters listen to phone conversations. Yessiree. We have bionic cell phone hearing. Happily for us phone police, passengers can now use their phones during all phases of flight. As long as it’s in airplane mode, of course. These days most passengers are texting their friends and family during the flight. Thus, there are less rushed conversations occurring before we take off. Fortunately for us, there are still enough phone talking offenders to keep us on our toes. Nowadays, these offenders think we can’t tell they are talking on their phones because they are wearing face masks. Bet, they wouldn’t think this way if we had Skytress and Skyter cell phone enforcement police guns. I imagine even Alexander Graham Bell would resort to texting instead of talking if we were issued these guns.

I’ve been using my new iPhone for several weeks now. I’ll admit. I had to reset a few passwords in the process. Ugh. Passwords! I wonder if Alexander Graham Bell would have used different passwords for each app. I like to think he would eventually call Mr. Watson in exasperation inquiring about his multiple passwords. Ah, I can hear the phone conversation now. “Mr. Watson. Come here. I can’t remember my Instagram password”. I, also, like to think Alexander Graham Bell would have his original telephone packed away in his dresser drawer. That’s where all my old phones have ended up. I’ll admit. There is something comforting about having all my old phones close by. I’m sure in a few years my dresser drawer will overrun with old phones. I could blame Alexander Graham Bell for this hoarding problem. I won’t though. I’ll thank him instead. Heck, new phone technologies are coming about daily. I’m sure the day is fast approaching when we will be able to call people directly in Heaven. I’ll be sure to call Alexander Graham Bell first. I’ll thank him for inventing the telephone and creating our telephone addictions. On second thought, maybe I’ll call Mr. Watson first. After all, that is what Alexander Graham Bell did.

The first week of February we finally got snow in St. Louis. Snow not only fell in St. Louis, it fell all across the Midwest. To celebrate, myself and my fellow Skytresses and Skyters had an impromptu crew slumber party in the crew lounge. I’ll admit. It wasn’t much of a party. I’m pretty sure no one really slumbered, either. I know I didn’t. But, saying we had a party, instead of saying we got stuck in Atlanta, sounds so much fancier. Yessiree. It does indeed.

Fortunately, it’s been years since I had to spend the night in the crew lounge. That time my Skytress commuter friend, Regina, and I missed our flight home because of thunderstorms. We enjoyed flying together. But, we decided having a layover at home on Father’s Day was not worth the crazy trip. However, if I had to stay in the crew lounge with anyone, I was blessed to have Regina there with me. I knew this time when I spent the evening in the crew lounge I wouldn’t be alone. I had seen enough flight cancellations on the flight board to know the lounge would be humming with activity.

Earlier in the day I had great hopes that my flight to St. Louis would go as scheduled. I had been monitoring the flights into and out of St. Louis for the previous two days. Several flights had canceled. Other flights had departed and landed on time. Despite the ugly weather updates I was getting from the St. Louis weathermen, I was encouraged that my flight status was still showing on time. My First Officer on our flight from Phoenix to Atlanta also commuted from St. Louis. We both had to fly a turn before our flight home. First Officer Craig had an Orlando turn. I had to fly to Milwaukee and back. Needless to say, we were both counting down the time until our flight home. I did have a two-hour sit in Atlanta before I flew to Milwaukee. I used this time to call home and get the latest weather update from my sister.

My sister Patti explained the weathermen had been wrong with their forecast. They had predicted the heavy snow would end at noon. Now they were predicting the snow would end in the evening. I was concerned with this latest forecast. I would be landing at midnight. The thought of digging out my Suburban this late at night was not appealing to me. Yes. Me. The one who always proclaims my love for snow. Ironic, eh?!

I was chitchatting with several Skyters in the lounge when my sister Patti called me back. She asked me if I had an extra car key at home. I told her I did. She then asked me where the employee parking lot was at the airport. She explained that she and my brother-in-law, Pat, were going to go to the parking lot and clean off my Suburban while it was still daylight. She didn’t want me cleaning the ice and snow off my car at midnight in a desolate parking lot. I admit. I do have the best sister in the world. I tried my best to describe where the parking lot was and how to enter it. Fortunately, I got an excellent parking space for someone trying to find my car. After I hung up with my sister I decided to draw a picture of the parking lot and text it to her. It was a very crude drawing. But, I think it explained things much better than my verbal explanation. After I sent my text, I checked my flight home. It was still departing on time. Yessiree. I was very hopeful.

We were heading to Milwaukee when I found out my flight home had canceled. Initially I was shocked and disappointed. I really wanted to get home. I only had one day off and then I would be heading back to Atlanta to start another trip. But, as I always tell people. I have never not gotten home. Sometimes it’s just later than planned. This would be one of those times. I, also, know that God delays us to protect us. Knowing this, I couldn’t be mad and upset with the cancellation. I called my sister when we landed in Milwaukee. She and my brother-in-law were in the process of cleaning the snow and thick ice off my car. She wasn’t surprised my flight had canceled. However, she knew I was looking forward to coming home that evening. Patti lifted my spirits by telling me my car would be in excellent shape when I arrived in the morning. I was eternally grateful for this fact. Yessiree. Patti definitely is the best sister in the world.

My crew couldn’t ave been nicer when I told them my flight was canceled. They had been rooting for my flight to depart as scheduled. The sweet, young Skytress on my crew offered for me to come spend the night at her home. I graciously declined. I would only be in the crew lounge for eight or so hours. Heck. Some days I sit four hours in the lounge before I sign in for my trip. What was an extra four hours? Plus, I knew I wouldn’t be alone in the lounge. And I wasn’t.

When I arrived in the crew lounge I immediately saw Skytresses and Skytress that commute to Atlanta. I sat down at the computer next to a Skytress I flew with several times in the last few weeks. She told me she had landed at 3pm. She had watched all her flights to Cleveland canceled for the rest of the day. She, like me, would be staying in the lounge until our 8am flights. Skytress Kim was fortunate in one aspect. Since she had been hanging out at the airport all afternoon, she was able to score one of the few recliners in the crew lounge. Yes. We do have a crew sleep room in the lounge. However, this room gets locked during the night. It doesn’t matter if inclement weather causes the crew lounge to be filled with sleepy Skytresses and Skytrers. A supervisor always locks the room at night. I looked around the lounge at my makeshift bed options. I grabbed a seat in the corner of the lounge. It was near a coveted outlet. Yessiree. I felt like a inclement weather winner. I plugged my iPad charger into the outlet. My slumber party plan was to catch up on some Instagram viewing and watch a few things on YouTube and Netflix.

A fellow St. Louis Skytress came over to talk to me. She had hoped to go home and then come back the next day to fly another trip. The flight cancellations got her, too. A few minutes after she left to go sleep in her chair another Skytress friend arrived in the lounge. Skytress Lou missed her flight home because they had a mechanical in Wichita. She knew my flight was departing at the gate upstairs from our lounge. She told me a passenger on her flight was supposed to be on the 11pm flight to St. Louis. Skytress Lou had befriended the woman. The woman was leaving an abusive husband. The story Skytress Lou told me about the passenger made my predicament of staying in the lounge pale in comparison.

I did try to close my eyes several times during the night. I just couldn’t fall asleep. I thought about heading over to one of the pilot lounges or our international lounge. However, I figured those lounges would be packed with people, too. I finally gave up on trying to sleep. I decided I would go into the restroom and wash my face and reapply my makeup. I figured it would make me feel more human on my flight home. Yes. We do have showers in the crew lounge. Admittedly, I wasn’t gung-ho to take one to make myself feel more human.

Skytress Lou decided she would accompany me to my gate to check on the woman passenger from her flight. Lou had a little time before her flight to Knoxville. As I collected my things, I saw a penny on the floor. Ah, another penny from Heaven! I put it in my left pocket and we headed up to my gate. I checked in with the agent for the Skytress jumpseat. Then I went over to talk to the passenger from Lou’s flight. As I was talking to her, I reached into my pocket to take my phone out. It wasn’t there. I checked my flight bags. It wasn’t in there, either. I had an awful feeling I left it on the chair in the crew lounge. The agents were minutes away from starting to board the plane. I apologized to the woman passenger from Lou’s flight. I told her I had to run back to the crew lounge for my phone. The jumpseating pilot could see the panicked look on my face. I told him I had to run to the lounge to look for my phone. I was walked briskly back down the concourse. My commuting First Officer, Craig, called out my name. He saw me walking quickly. He asked me if there had been a gate change. I quickly told him I had to run back to the lounge to get my phone. I’ll admit. I was in powerful prayer mode. I decided to forgot the train. I dragged my bags from one concourse to the other concourse. My penny in my pocket gave me confidence that I would make it back to my flight on time. Still I made haste. I left my flight bags near the elevator when I walked into the lounge. I quickly went to the chair I had been sitting in for hours prior. It wasn’t there. I walked over to the duty desk and asked the supervisor if anyone had turned in a phone. He said someone had. As he pulled out my phone from a drawer, he told me he made an announcement in the lounge asking if anyone had lost the phone. I smiled and told him I didn’t hear his announcement because I was on another concourse. He laughed. I reversed course and I headed back to my gate. I merged in with the passengers boarding my flight. I checked in with the pilots and Skytress In-Charge. Then I headed to the back galley. First Officer Craig was sitting in an exit row seat. He was happy to see me as I made my way to the back of the plane. After introducing myself to the Skytresses in the back, I stepped into the aft lavatory to try to dab the sweat that was on my face. So much for redoing my makeup. Thank goodness for my face mask. The crew working the flight couldn’t have been nicer. The Skytress In-Charge called the Skytresses in the back of the plane. She informed them there would be an open aisle seat in the last row for me. I was blessed to get a seat on an oversold flight. Many of the passengers had flights cancel the previous day. I sat in my seat and gave thanks to God. Then I watched the Olympic Opening Ceremonies on the in-seat tv monitor. Yessiree. Life was great.

I talked to one of my commuting pilots when I stepped off the employee shuttle. He filled me in on the road conditions. I filled him in on my sister and brother-in-law cleaning off my car. He was impressed. My Suburban did slide a wee bit as I pulled out of my parking spot. I said a quick prayer that I didn’t hit the shuttle shelter or the pilot. The drive home was not what I expected. The roads were still snowpacked. Thankfully I made it home safely.

I didn’t go to sleep until later that night. Nope. I was too busy getting my things ready to fly back to Atlanta the next day on the 6am flight. When I placed my head on my pillow I had been up 38 hours. I was exhausted. But, I was also excited. I had one more trip to fly before I went on vacation. I needed a vacation after my last trip. Crew slumber parties are simply exhausting!

Prisoners on a plane. No. I’m not talking about dramatic passengers talking about their ordeal of being on the airplane longer than they wanted. I’m not talking about the movie Conair, where the prisoners take over the plane, either. Nope. I’m talking about actual prisoners on our airplanes. Say, what?! Yes. Every once in awhile we have prisoners travel on our airplanes. Don’t worry. They aren’t traveling alone. They have law enforcement escorts. You will most likely never know you have a prisoner on board your flight. But, your crew will know. We are informed about these things. Even if we weren’t informed about these things we would figure it out. Yessiree. Skytresses and Skyters can pick prisoners out on the airport concourses from a mile away. Heck. It’s just another one of our super powers.

Let me reassure everyone that the prisoners on our airplanes are nonviolent. You, also, aren’t going to have a prisoner as your seat mate. Well, unless of course you are the law enforcement officer escorting them. For security purposes I can’t divulge the protocols that take place when a prisoner is on board. I will, however, disclose some of my favorite stories of having prisoners on my flights. After all, they are pretty good stories. I thought about some of these stories the other day as we headed to West Palm Beach. You see, we had a prisoner on board with his escorts. They all were watching the basketball game on their respective screens chitchatting away with one another. I must say, the prisoner had the best smelling food I’ve smelled on an airplane in months. If this was his last meal for awhile on the outside, he sure picked a good one. Yessiree. It’s not often that I am envious of a prisoner on our airplane.

A prisoner on the plane story that always stands out in my mind happened when I was a Skytress based in Cincinnati. My boyfriend at the time, Captain Pilot, and I were heading to Louisville. He was flying the plane. I had just finished my trip and was heading to Louisville to spend the layover with him. Since I was still in my Skytress uniform, I asked the agents if they would like me to help them pull tickets as the passengers boarded the airplane. They were very appreciative for the help. Most passengers handed me their tickets individually. Every once in awhile a family or couple would board together and one person in the group would hand me all the tickets. The last three passengers came to the boarding podium. They were three adult men. The one gentleman handed me three tickets. I thought it was a bit odd that they didn’t hand me their own tickets. But, odd is pretty much normal when you are a Skytress. So, I didn’t think too much after they walked past me to get on the plane. The agents thanked me for the help and then I, too, went down the jetway to board the plane. I was the last passenger on the plane. The row in front of the three gentlemen that boarded last was completely vacant. So, I sat down to have a row to myself. It was then I started to put the pieces together. Three unlikely men boarded the plane together. One handed me all the tickets. He handed me all the tickets because the guy in the middle couldn’t. The last guy had his hands on the guy in the middle. The agents had moved passengers forward of the row the gentlemen were sitting in. Duh!! I was sitting in front of a prisoner and his escorts. I chuckled on the inside. When Captain Pilot and I got off the airplane he asked me if I knew that we had a prisoner on the flight. Since I wasn’t working the flight I wasn’t privy to this information. I told Captain Pilot I had figured it all out AFTER I sat down in the row ahead of them. Captain Pilot teasingly asked me if I asked the prisoner what he had done to get himself into his predicament. I told Captain Pilot I was too scared to ask. But, I was dying to know. This is typical when we have a prisoner on board. Everyone is curious to know the details. However, no one is ever brave enough to ask. Well, except for my Skytress friend Darlene . Darlene was brave enough.

Skytress Darlene, Skyter Robin and I were flying from Cincinnati to Phoenix. The gate agent informed us we would have an escorted prisoner on our flight. I was overly curious when the escorted prisoner boarded the plane. The escorted prisoner appeared to be a weathered, old gentleman. I immediately felt sad for the guy. Ah, heck. I always feel sad for the prisoners. After all, they are heading to prison. I wondered about the prisoner throughout the boarding process. I wondered about him as we set out to start our in-flight service. Skytress Darlene was on the backside of our beverage cart. I knew she would be the one to serve the prisoner and the law enforcement officers. As I served the passengers on my side of the cart, I could see Skytress Darlene talking with the law enforcement guys while she was pouring their drinks. They were laughing with her. Yessiree. Skytress Darlene has a beautiful knack for making everyone feel at ease. It’s one of her amazing Skytress powers. When we returned to the galley, Skytress Darlene told Skyter Robin and me that the law enforcement officers were really cool. She told us she had a great rapport going with them. Skyter Robin jokingly asked Darlene if she had found out what crime the prisoner had committed. Darlene told Robin that she hadn’t. But, she was going to ask when she went to pick up the trash. Robin and I laughed. We thought she was just kidding. No siree. Darlene was serious. We knew by the way Darlene turned to the main cabin with a pep in her step that she was going to ask the million-dollar question, “What did you do?” Robin and I eagerly waited in the first-class galley for Darlene to return. Skytress Darlene had a huge smile on her face when she returned. Holy moly! Darlene did what no Skytress or Skyter was ever brave enough to do. At least not any Skytress or Skyter I’ve flown with. Darlene actually asked the prisoner what crime he committed. Robin and I were gobsmacked. The prisoner told Darlene he got caught selling drugs. Skytress Darlene joked with the prisoner that he was old enough to know better. The prisoner agreed. He told Darlene he was in his fifties. He was definitely old enough to know better than to sell drugs. Robin and I were dumbstruck by this revelation. Well, I should clarify this. We could believe the gentleman got caught selling drugs. However, we couldn’t believe he was in his fifties. The gentleman was the spitting image of the cartoon character Popeye the sailor man. Only a seventy- year old, missing teeth, gray haired Popeye. The three of us stood in the galley laughed at our preconceived ideas about the prisoner. We were also in complete agreement that this man’s mugshot should be used as a deterrent for using drugs. No one, I mean no one, wants to look like an over-aged Popeye.

I sure wish I was brave enough as Skytress Darlene when I had another escorted prisoner on my flight. The curiosity of what crime this gentleman committed still haunts me. I was the Skytress In-Charge on this particular flight. We were flying from Pensacola to Dallas. I was informed by the gate agent that we would have an escorted prisoner. I took this information in stride. That is until the prisoner and his escorts sat down in first class. I was baffled. Never have I had a prisoner and his escorts sit in first class. I know I told you for security reasons I wouldn’t divulge security protocol. But, I will divulge this. Prisoners don’t sit in first class. I observed the gentleman when he sat down. I immediately concocted an explanation for his first class seat. I decided the prisoner had committed a white collar crime. He looked like a proper businessman. I was convinced he used his frequent flyer miles to upgrade himself and his escorts. Obviously, he wasn’t going to be able to use them for awhile.

I still think about several incidents that occurred on my flights that involved juvenile delinquents. Unlike the prisoners, these young men where not escorted on our airplane. Heck. We didn’t even know they were on board until after the fact. Fortunately for you all, this makes these stories that more interesting. At least I hope it does. The first story happened after we arrived at the gate in Atlanta. I was the Skytress-In Charge. During deplaning, I noticed a gentleman had walked down the jetway and was patiently waiting a few feet from the airplane door . Even though it was prior to 9-11 and airport security was much different, I questioned the gentleman. Yessiree folks. That’s good Skytress training kicking in. The gentleman informed me he was there to pick up a juvenile delinquent. I immediately wondered why I wasn’t privy to this information before we landed in Atlanta. I apologized to the man. I told the gentleman I wasn’t aware we had a juvenile on board that was to be met on deplaning. The gentleman didn’t seem too upset by this information. In fact, he nonchalantly told me the juvenile he was waiting for would be wearing a red shirt. Thus, it would be easy to identify the young man. Our deplaning was almost complete and I could tell there wasn’t a young man on the aircraft. I went back to ask my crew if there was a young man in the bathroom. I explained to my crew that a gentleman was in the jetway waiting for a juvenile delinquent in a red shirt. The one Skytress on my crew had an “ah-ha” moment. She told me during the beverage service a young man reached under his seat and pulled out a shirt from a black Hefty garbage bag. While she took his beverage order, he changed his shirt. She thought it was extremely odd that he changed his shirt while he sat in his seat instead of going to the bathroom to change. But, oddity is pretty normal in the airline world. So she poured his drink and moved on to serve the next passenger. She told me the young man changed from a red shirt to a blue shirt. She said he was sitting towards the front of the main cabin. I turned to head back to the jetway to relay this information to the the gentleman. As I was walking up the aisle, I noticed a black trash bag under a seat. Under normal circumstances I would have decided this bag was just leftover trash from a passenger. I opened the bag. Inside the bag was clothing. There on the top of several items of clothing was a red shirt. I smiled at the cleverness of the young man. He was well aware a man would be looking for him in his red shirt. He outsmarted everyone. I disclosed my discovery to the gentleman in the jetway. I retold him the story my Skytress told me about the young man changing his shirt on the plane. I told him the young man was now wearing a blue shirt. The gentleman took in all this information in stride. He didn’t seem alarmed or surprised. I apologized again for not knowing we had a juvenile delinquent on board. Heck. I could have detained him during deplaning. Amazingly, the gentleman was not alarmed that the young man had evaded him. Instead, he calmly looked me in the eyes and told me not to worry. He said he would find him in the airport. Part of me believed him. The other part of me cheered for the clever young man. The gentleman in the jetway may not have been aware that Atlanta is the world’s busiest airport. Something in my gut told me the juvenile delinquent knew this information and was going to use it to his advantage. Something in my gut also told me if this young man didn’t turn his life around, he could easily end up being an escorted prisoner on one of our planes in a few years.

Another juvenile on one of my flights wasn’t as lucky as the young man in Atlanta. No siree. He was apprehended before the passengers deplaned. I was completely shocked when it happened, too. We had just landed in Cincinnati. The Captain called the crew to inform us we had a runaway juvenile delinquent on our plane. The authorities were waiting to apprehend him when we arrived at our gate. The Captain explained he was going to make an announcement for all the passengers to remain seated when we arrived at the gate. He would inform the passengers we had a passenger that needed assistance on our arrival. As we slowly taxied to our gate, the Captain made his announcement. I wondered which passenger from Phoenix was our runaway. I was flabbergasted when two gentleman walked on our plane and escorted a young man off. I had served the young man during our flight. He was extremely polite. I had multiple questions swirling around my head. I wondered how he purchased his ticket. I wondered how he got to the airport and through security. Mostly, though, I wondered what he was running away from. Instead of being relieved the authorities had caught him, I felt sad for the young man. I was convinced a polite young man, such as this young man, couldn’t be a bad seed. The whole situation confused me. I had so many questions I needed to be answered. I had more questions after a passenger told me the authorities put shackles around the young man’s legs. The passenger could see the shackles as the juvenile walked down the outside stairs to the awaiting car. I prayed this young man would eventually have a better life. I didn’t want to ever see him end up as an escorted prisoner on one of our planes.

Yes. We Skytresses and Skyters may speculate why a prisoner ends up on one of our airplanes. Sometimes we get silly when we try to figure out the predicament. However, we always circle back how sad we feel for them. Heck. We are flying off somewhere to either enjoy our layover, or head home. They are going off to be booked and placed in jail. I’m sure these prisoner passengers are scared. I’m sure they are questioning the bad decisions they’ve made. Heck. I question their decisions. Even though these prisoners are nonviolent, they are still being escorted by law enforcement agents. I’ll admit. I am always impressed with the agents. They always treat the prisoners with dignity and care. I know my fellow Skytresses, Skyters and I do the same. I’m proud to say, other passengers never know we are serving an escorted prisoner. We offer them hospitality with a smile. After all, it may just be the last friendly smile they encounter in awhile. I know I find myself praying for these individuals all through the flight. I think and pray for them even after the flight. I know it is by the grace of God that I am not in their situation. I’ll admit. I much prefer a Skytress uniform to a prisoner’s uniform. Hopefully, God always prefers it this way for me, too.