The Rerouted Skytress

When I was a young Skytress we used to fill out supply lists for every city we flew into. We had separate supply lists for the forward galleys and for the back galleys. Every city had supplies. Even the smaller cities. The smaller cities usually had a small metal storage closet with very limited supplies. So, unless you needed more peanuts or cocktail napkins, you might have to do without. Thus, I learned very quickly how to apologize for not having a passenger’s drink of choice. Back then, I mostly apologized for not having Dr. Pepper products when we were flying out of the smaller Southern cities. Our Southern passengers loved Dr. Pepper products. Well, Southerners anywhere other than Atlanta. Atlanta passengers have always been devoted Coca-Cola drinkers. Midwestern passengers have their beverage of choice, too. It’s funny, but, Skytresses and Skyters can tell where we are flying based on passengers drink orders alone. Beverage consistency. Yessiree. I’ll drink to that.

Many younger Skytresses and Skyters aren’t aware that we used to serve Dr. Pepper products. Heck. They don’t know we used to serve Cherry Coke, Caffeine-Free Diet Coke, or even grapefruit juice. I believe I was the only Skytress that drank the grapefruit juice. So, I understand why they got rid of it. We also got rid of Amaretto, Courvoisier, Kahlua, Black Label Johnnie Walker, Crown Royal, Gin Martinis, Pawberry Punch and hot chocolate to just name a few products. I’ll admit. I don’t miss the Gin Martini’s. More specifically, I don’t miss the the olives that we served with the Gin Martinis. The olive jars on most of the airplanes were grotesque. The jars were usually sticky from the the brine contents leaking from the jar lids. The unidentifiable floaties in the jars would instantaneously cause a gag reflex in even the stoutest person. Happily, there was absolutely no gag reflex when it came to the Kahlua. I didn’t know one Skytress or Skyter that didn’t love the sweet aroma of this liquor. Whether we were pouring it into coffee or making a Black Russian or White Russian cocktail, it didn’t matter. The smell of the Kahlua instantly made everything and everyone happier. Heck. We should seriously think about pumping this smell into all our aircrafts!

One smell that has been missing from our aircrafts for a few years now is the smell of roasted peanuts. Southern passengers loved drinking their Coca-Cola beverages while chomping on their peanuts. True Southerners would call their peanuts, “goobers”. The truest of true Southern passengers would pour their goobers into their glass of Coke and drink it this way. When I first saw a passenger do this I thought it was extremely odd. Over time, I found it endearing. I, also, now find it endearing when Midwest passengers ask for Vernors. When I was a young Skytress I had no idea what Vernors was. I would tell the passengers we didn’t have Vernors. Then I would proudly tell the passengers all the soda products we served. I found it very interesting that they would consistently choose Ginger Ale to drink. Little did I know Vernors IS Ginger Ale! Egads, Eileen! Thankfully for me, the Salt Lake City passengers have always called Ginger Ale…Ginger Ale. Not surprisingly, we serve cases of Ginger Ale, Sprite and water on our flights into and out of Salt Lake City. We used to serve cartons of milk on these flights, too. However, our Salt Lake passengers no longer drink milk on our flights. No siree. Milk left when Covid came. I’ll admit. I don’t miss the milk. Many times catering would cram the milk cartons into the ice drawers. This typically caused the cartons to leak. Thus, the ice would turn a murky color. It reminded me of the water we used to serve ages ago before bottled water became a staple item and request. Yessiree. Long ago when a passenger asked for water, we would pour it directly from the aircraft spigot….which came directly from the aircraft water tanks. I’ll admit. The water was as cloudy as a Seattle day. Skytresses and Skyters had to patiently wait in the galley for the cloudiness to clear before they went back into the cabin to serve the glass of water. Well, we would wait patiently if we liked you. If for some reason a passenger got under our skin, we would happily prance that cup of cloudy water to the passenger’s seat and tell them to, “Enjoy”.

California passengers definitely enjoy our bottled water. We serve copious amounts of water on these flights. We, also, serve generous amounts of hot tea, too. California passengers, along with our other West Coast passengers, request tea so frequently we actually brew pots of tea instead of handing out individual tea bags. Interestingly, these West Coast passengers typically request herbal, camomile or green tea with honey. Interestingly, I serve them English Breakfast tea with a couple packets of sugar. Yessiree. That’s as good as it gets on the domestic side of flying. West Coast passengers are usually our decaf drinkers, too. Our decaf coffee now comes in a Starbucks packet. It’s strong. If you haven’t gotten under our skin, we will tell you it’s strong, too. Otherwise, we say, “Enjoy!”. Starbucks is the Sanka of the past. Incredibly, Sanka decaf coffee packets were much stronger than the Starbucks we serve now. Back then we used to pour the Sanka directly into the cup for the passengers and stir it for them. I’ll admit. We used to barely stir the Sanka so they would never ask for it again. Heck. It was a pain to go back to the galley and search for it. I’ll, also, admit we didn’t stir the hot chocolate very well for the same reason. Since I’m in a confessing mood, I’ll confess to what we used to do when we actually brewed pots of decaf and regular coffee. Well, ….when it was getting near the end of the flight, we would pour out the pots of regular brewed coffee and keep the pot of decaf coffee. Then if a passenger asked for regular coffee or decaf coffee we would pour a cup of the decaf. We affectionately referred to it as the “universal” coffee. Yessiree. It was safe to serve to both decaf drinkers and regular coffee drinkers. No one was the wiser. Well, except for the Skytresses and Skyters. I’ll admit. I’ll drink to that.

Floridians love to drink tomato juice and Bloody Mary Mix. They love Bloody Mary Mix even more when they throw vodka in it. Passengers heading to Florida from Canada call this drink a Caesar. Canadians, also, don’t request tomato juice like true Floridians. They request Clamato juice. Sadly, for Canadians and Floridians we don’t serve Clamato or tomato juice. We never did serve Clamato juice. However, Canadians are so nice, I wish we did. Now we no longer serve tomato juice…..domestically that is. Yessiree. Tomato juice left when Covid came. Happily, I can report the actual cans of juice that left when Covid came…are back. Woo hoo! The boxed juices are gone! It’s a Skytress and Skyter’s dream come true. We, also, now serve cans of wine. So, when the Montreal passengers ask for white wine for breakfast….and they most certainly do…I just have to pop a can of white wine…and pour. It’s a win-win for everyone!

I recently learned East Coast passengers adore Topo Chico Hard Seltzer. Who knew? Definitely not me. I thought they only drank coffee regular….meaning coffee with cream and sugar. Syracuse passengers drink Topo Chico like it water. It’s like the Woodford we serve going to Kentucky. Or the Woodford we serve in first class or Comfort Plus. These passengers drink Woodford like it’s water, too. Of course, the first class and Comfort Plus passengers drink Woodford because it’s free. But, so is the water. Kentuckians drink Woodford….because it’s Woodford. Free or not. It’s not unlike the passengers flying to Las Vegas or Cancun. They drink liquor…because it’s liquor. Free or not.

Skytresses and Skyters can’t drink alcohol while on duty. But, we sure can drink everything else. Typically though, no matter where we are based, our beverage of choice are the large bottles of water. And now that limes are returning to our flights, I’m confident the extra limes will be plopped into these bottles like they were prior to Covid. If you didn’t know, lemons and limes were removed when Covid came. Yessiree. The thought of someone placing a precut lemon or lime in a drink during Covid was just too risky. Everyone has been pleading for the precut lemons and limes to return. Skytresses and Skyters say they want to be able to serve a lemon or lime in the passenger’s drinks upon request. But, who are we fooling? The large bottles of water just taste better with lemon and limes slices shoved in them. Prior to 9-11, We used to cut our own lemon and lime slices with the galley knife. After 9-11, the galley knives were taken off for security reasons. The knife blade wasn’t sharp enough to cut your finger. But, darn it could cut the lemons and limes. Skytresses and Skyters would cut slits in the lemons and limes so we could hang the fruit on the edge of the passenger’s glass. Fancy indeed! My friend, Tara, flew for United. She was flabbergasted when I told her we cut our own lemons and limes. I was flabbergasted to find out their lemons and limes came precut. I asked Tara how they got the lemons and limes to sit on the rim of the glasses if there weren’t slits in them. She told me they just dropped the fruit into the passnger’s glass. I was horrified. After 9-11, our lemons and limes came precut in plastic containers, too. Funny. It didn’t take me too long to get over my hoity toity fruit slits. I threw those lemons and limes in the passenger’s glasses like they did at United….and I was as content as I could be.

Our beverage selections at our airline have changed a wee bit throughout the years. I’m content with this fact, too. After all, change can be good for everyone. Yessiree. It’s true Skytresses and Skyters loathed the cocktail shakers we had to use when we got new cocktail mixers. However, everyone loved the actual mixed cocktails. It was a refreshing change for both the passengers and the Skytresses and Skyters. Still, it’s comforting to know I have spent 72 of my 33 Skytress years waiting for the Diet Coke and Coke Zero to de-foam on our flights from multiple Florida cities to Cincinnati. I’ll admit. It’s excruciating at the time watching the de-foaming process. But, at least I’m prepared for this process long before the passengers step on board the aircraft. Yessiree. I tell you, beverage consistency soothes my Skytress soul! In a profession where so many things are unpredictable, beverage predictability based on where we are flying is a great thing. Yessiree. I’ll definitely drink to that!