The Rerouted Skytress

Last week I had a 30- hour layover in Kansas City. Our trip first started with us flying from Atlanta to Los Angeles. Then after a sit we flew from Los Angeles to Kansas City. Our flight landed in Kansas at midnight. We only had a smattering of passengers going with us to Kansas City. I’ll admit. It was delightful! Everyone had optimal elbow room. I remember years ago we used to have flights from Dallas to Kansas City. These flights were always full. One day a Skytress I was flying with wondered out loud why so many people traveled from Dallas to Kansas City. Without missing a beat a first-class passenger said, “For the cheap women and good barbecue”. It’s still one of my favorite responses to a question. The upbeat song lyric, “I’m going to Kansas City. Kansas City here I come”, takes on a whole new connotation after hearing this response.

One of my favorite Skytress stories to tell, also, happened on our way to Kansas City. It actually happened on our final approach. Our Skytress In-Charge started to make her final approach PA. I was handing the gentleman in 3C his coat when I heard over the PA, “We are making our final approach into Kansas Sh*ty”. I giggled as I looked at the gentleman and asked him, “Did she just say what I think she said?” He said, “Yes”. Followed by, “Some days it really is!” His response tickled me. I cannot even tell you the number of times I jokingly say I am going to “Kansas Sh*ty”. I say it so often I fear I will actually say it over the PA just like my Skytress In-Charge did. However, I know if I do say it, I will immediately follow it up with, “Sorry folks. However, the gentleman in 3C told me years ago…Some days it really is!”

This trip our layover hotel was located in the Downtown District. It’s a nice area. But, it isn’t Country Club Plaza. Ah, Country Club Plaza! I’ve loved Country Club Plaza since I was a student at the University of Kansas. However, when I went to the University of Kansas I was a poor college student. So mostly we drove to Country Club Plaza to see the Christmas lights. When I became a Skytress I had a salary. So I went shopping at Country Club Plaza. After all, shopping is one of the most coveted Skytress pastimes. Amazingly, I actually spent most of my Skytress money up the hill from Country Club Plaza. Yessiree. If it weren’t for a fellow Skytress on one of my trips, I would never have known there was a hidden gem up the hill from Country Club Plaza. Thankfully, this Skytress had an obsession with Trapp Candles. I clearly remember we were in the crew van on our way to the hotel when the Skytress asked us if we saw the sign on the building that said “Trapp and Company”. Of course, the three of us were too busy talking to have noticed any signs. Yessiree. Talking is another favorite pastime of Skytresses. The Skytress educated us on Trapp Candles the rest of the way to the hotel. We were intrigued. So intrigued, that we all agreed to walk up to the hill with her before we headed to Country Club Plaza to shop.

Now there have been numerous times in my Skytress career when I have won the shopping lottery. This day was definitely one of them. This shop was a Skytress paradise. It was a florist shop. It was a gift shop. It was a wine shop. It was a candle shop. It was a design center. All under one roof. It was Skytress Heaven. Every item sang to my Skytress heart. Best of all, the owner insisted we taste a plethora of gourmet items he sold in his shop. I kid you not. We spent an hour and a half in Trapp and Company. I left with bags filled with food items, gifts and of course, Trapp Candles. I had never heard of Trapp Candles before this day. But, by golly, by the time I left the shop I was a Trapp Candle convert. All of bought so many things at Trapp and Company we had to stop at the hotel and drop our things off before we finally headed to Country Club Plaza. Where, of course, we continued to spend more of our Skytress money.

Sadly, there is a lack of Skytress paradise shops around our layover hotel in the Downtown District. But, fear not. There is an upscale market a few blocks from the hotel. So, this layover I headed down to Consentino’s Market where I proceeded to spend my Skytress money on a healthy salad. What!? No barbecue!? Everyone knows Kansas Sh*ty is known for their cheap women and good barbecue!!! I know. A healthy salad sounds pretty boring for a 30-hour Kansas Sh*ty layover. And it is. But, if you heard my motivational pep talk I gave myself just to get dressed and walk outside into the bitter cold you would have been impressed. Heck, I was extremely impressed! So, I headed out into the bitter cold to get the best darn healthy salad I could find.

My game plan was to walk quickly to Consentino’s Market and walk back even quicker to the hotel. I’ll admit. I couldn’t walk fast enough to the market. The wind whipped around the buildings so badly I questioned my sanity for ever leaving the hotel…..for a salad. Yes. My salad paled in comparison to the tantalizing items for sale in the prepared food section. But, I was sticking to my healthy food plan. I did circle the dessert area several times as I clung to my salad box. When I finally checked out the sales clerk entertained me with an impromptu comedy routine. It was so bad it was actually funny. I’m sure I’ll see him some day on Netflix when he has his own comedy special. I’ll know it’s him if he does food market jokes. Well, well. A salad and a comedy show. Could I have ask for anything more on a layover? Yes. Yes, I could have.

I’m not going to lie. If we were still laying over at Country Club Plaza I would have been outside in the bitter cold happily shopping all day at all the Skytress paradise shops. Heck. Nothing warms a Skytress’ heart like power shopping. Yessiree. Other people can have the cheap women and good barbecue while in Kansas Sh*ty. For me, it’s all about Country Club Plaza. My apologies to Consentino’s Market. You are a lovely market. However, you are just one market. Country Club Plaza has fifteen blocks of shops and restaurants. Plus, there is Trapp and Company up the hill. I’m sure they miss me as much as I miss them. Yessiree. I pray we eventually go back to this area of the city. When we do, you can bet I’ll wholeheartedly bid these trips. All the while, I’ll be singing….”I’m going to Kansas City. Kansas City here I come.”