The Rerouted Skytress

Our airline made some pretty big news a few days ago. Yessiree. Our airline will be the first major airline to pay it’s Skytresses and Skyters for the boarding process. Say, what!? You didn’t know we didn’t get paid during the boarding process? Nope. Our pay starts once the airplane door is closed. If you asked the higher-ups at our airline, they will tell you we are getting paid. It just isn’t flight pay. We Skytresses and Skyters have always felt the boarding process is the first part of the flight. Thus, not getting paid for the boarding process never felt right to us. Especially, since it can be the most trying part of the flight. Starting this June this will all change. Yessiree. This pay announcement shocked the airline industry. Heck. It shocked me! I thought I’d be long retired or dead before this day ever came. I know Skytresses and Skyters at other airlines are now very envious of us. It’s been the hot topic of conversation. The pay announcement, also, shocked the general public. I’ve read and heard the comments. People are incredulous we don’t get paid for boarding. After hearing this news, I know some of you are feeling very guilty for making your flight crews work so hard while at the gate. I’m sure some of you are wondering how you right a wrong. Well, Skytresses and Skyters can be very forgiving individuals. Especially, when the path to forgiveness is lined with candy. Well, as far as Skytresses and Skyters are concerned, that is. Yessiree. Candy will do the trick. Of course, we expect the GOOD candy. The path to Skytress and Skyter forgiveness is only lined with the GOOD candy!

I had just arrived in the crew lounge from my commuter flight when I heard about our boarding pay. I was talking to my Skyter friend Kenyon about where we were flying that day. We chatted about this and that. Then Skyter Kenyon mentioned the boarding pay. I was confused. I had no idea what he was talking about. He told me starting June 2nd we were going to get paid for boarding. I was flabbergasted. Kenyon told me there was a company email explaining everything. Ah, a company email. No wonder I hadn’t heard the news. I try not to mess up my off days by reading company emails. Kenyon showed me the email and the pay we would receive. I still couldn’t believe it. I told Kenyon I thought I’d never see this day come to fruition. All airlines have held steadfast with the notion that no one should get flight pay during the boarding process. Heels were dug into the ground on this issue. I did a quick Skytress calculation and this pay is going to really pay off. This pay, along with our pay raise, will enable me to retire a few days earlier than I had anticipated. Oh, yes. We also got a pay raise that went into effect this month. I love when my company gives me money. Lucy from the Peanuts says it best. “How I love the sound of clinking money! That beautiful sound of cold hard cash!”

Obviously, the past couple years have been incredibly hard on the airline industry. Heck. During the height of the pandemic I didn’t know if I would have a job to come back to. I felt extremely blessed this year when our airline gave us all a profit sharing check. For a very long time our airline bled millions of dollars a day. A profit sharing check meant the tide was rolling in our favor again. I am truly blessed that our airline is now in a position to offer us a pay raise and boarding pay. My fingers are crossed that this Valentine’s Day we will receive another profit sharing check. My airline chooses to give us profit sharing checks on Valentine’s Day. Isn’t this sweet? Yessiree. It is!

Of course, a Skytress and Skyters’ life isn’t just about pay raises and profit sharing checks. Nope. It’s also about layovers and flying with sensational people. Fortunately for me, I’ve been winning the jackpot in both of these categories. Yessiree. I’ve been flying with utterly amazing crews. No drama. Just fun. The past few months I’ve flown with several Skytresses I flew with in Cincinnati. It’s been marvelous sharing stories of our Cincinnati days. I even flew with a Skyter that also went to The University of Kansas. Through jumpseat conversations we learned we were in the same dorm our freshman year. We, also, were both in journalism. Even more fascinating….We both took the easiest math course that was required of Journalism students. Ugh, math. Skyter Gavin and I both dreaded math! Obviously, we were destined to be a Skytress and Skyter! Rock Chalk. Jayhawk. K-U!!!

I would have paid good money to see my friend Kristin on my layover. Fortunately, my airline paid me, instead. Did you hear a rimshot, or was it just me?! Badum-Ching! You may remember Kristin and I went through Skytress training together. Then we flew together in Atlanta and in Cincinnati. Kristin may no longer be a Skytress, but, she will always have the heart of Skytress. She was as excited about my Minneapolis layover as I was. It didn’t matter that my layover was short. There was still plenty of time to get together. It, also, didn’t matter that most places were closed by the time we went out. Kristin and I happily headed to Culver’s for some ice cream. As everyone knows, any time of day is the perfect time for ice cream! Especially, Culver’s ice cream. I learned all about Culver’s from Ron. Ron was a Culver’s enthusiast. He would bid the short Milwaukee layover just to satisfy his Culver’s cravings. Yessiree. Culver’s and our layover hotel shared the same parking lot. It couldn’t have been more convenient for Ron. Kristin and I laughed over Ron’s unabashed love for Culver’s. Then we raised our cups of frozen custard and toasted Ron in Heaven. I’m sure Ron had a great chuckle over this gesture. I’m positive he was also a wee bit envious. Heaven is heavenly. But, it doesn’t have Culver’s. At least I don’t think it does!

Now I don’t want you to think this blog post is all about Skytresses and Skyters coming into money, money, money. I do have some fabulous news for you all, too. Yessiree. You, my sweet readers, will also be rolling in the money, money, money. Well, at least if you frequently purchase earbuds on our airline. May 10th we discontinued charging our passengers $2 for earbuds. Hooray! Headsets are now free for everyone. This is not to be confused with the complimentary headsets we gave out during the pandemic. Those headsets were free. Then they weren’t. But, now they are again! Alleluia! Skytresses and Skyters no longer have to whisper to the first-class passengers and Comfort Plus passengers when handing out headsets. I’ll admit. It was always awkward handing out headsets in these sections of the airplane. I tried not to make eye contact with the passengers in the row directly behind Comfort Plus. These passengers would inevitably get excited that I was handing out complimentary headsets. I hated the look of disappointment when I had to explained to these passengers that their headset would cost them $2. Thank goodness. No more looks of disappointment. Now everyone can be happy…..Crew and passengers. Money…money…money in everyone’s pockets. Ah, yes. “The beautiful sound of cold hard cash!”