The Rerouted Skytress

Not many people know three-time NASCAR champion and NASCAR team owner Tony Stewart is my fiancé. My family doesn’t know it. My friends don’t know it. Even Tony Stewart himself doesn’t know it. Or does he? I’m sure you would like me to explain. Well, like all good stories, this one begins with an ex-boyfriend. To protect his identity I shall call him, Mr. Butthead. Well, Mr. Butthead liked NASCAR. I liked Mr. Butthead. Because of this, I, too watched NASCAR with Mr. Butthead. Thankfully, one day God took Mr. Butthead out of my life and kept NASCAR in it. With Mr. Butthead out of the picture, Mr. Stewart took the opportunity to drive right on in.

Tony Stewart first drove into my life in July of 2005. That summer my friends and I went to the Pepsi 400 at the Daytona International Speedway. My family and friends used to spend our summers close by in Ponce Inlet. A tradition started where the guys would take the kids to the July race to break up the time at the beach. However, in 2005, my friends asked if I would like to go. I had flown by and driven by the race track hundreds of times throughout the years. I was curious what the inside looked like. So, I decided to go to the race. Unfortunately, it rained for hours before the race began. We watched most of the race. At 1am we decided to leave. The race was still going on. We ladies had a tradition of walking the beach at 6am. We weren’t going to let a NASCAR race get in the way of that.

The next day after walking the beach I read the local paper on the balcony. On the front page was a picture of Tony Stewart climbing the fence after he won the race. I laughed. We spent hours sitting in the stands the night before and we missed the best part of the race. I suspect now, Tony climbed the fence to find us in the stands. Obviously, he climbed down when he couldn’t find us. After reading the paper, I decided to head to the store and get donuts for everyone. Ironically, there was an interview with Tony Stewart on the radio. He was talking about sharks in the ocean. I chuckled at the coincidence of hearing this interview right after reading about him in the paper. But, was it a coincidence?

A few months later I was on a short layover. Against my better judgement, I felt compelled to turned the tv on. The final NASCAR race of the season was on. And low and behold, Tony Stewart won the Championship. Another coincidence? Everyone knows if you are trying win someone over….win a Championship. And make sure the person is watching when you do it.

The next day on the plane, my friend David asked me if I would like to look at any of the newspapers he had collected from the passengers. I said I would. I looked at the paper and staring back at me was Tony Stewart. “Very interesting”, I thought. By now Mr. Stewart was becoming a fixture in my life. Whether I wanted him too or not. Obviously, we were now in a very convoluted stalking relationship. I jokingly told David I was going to read about my “boyfriend” Tony Stewart. Later when I brought the paper back to recycle it, I smiled and asked David if he would like to read about my “fiancé”, Tony Stewart. David laughed. He jokingly questioned me about Tony going from boyfriend to fiancé. I smiled and told him Mr. Stewart won the Championship ….so, I upgraded him.

After the Championship race, Tony’s stalking gained momentum. One week after the race, I was at the Seattle airport walking by a gift shop. There was Tony Stewart on the magazine stand. I couldn’t miss him. He was staring right at me. He was staring right at me again in the Atlanta airport as I walked by another shop. Of course, he was on a different magazine stalking me. He was crafty like that. His persistence made me chuckle. Suspiciously, many times when I would turn on the tv, I would see Tony in a commercial. Funny, how he knew I would be watching tv. He was also there in my Home Depot store. Yes, I smiled at the shopping carts that looked like his race car. Mr. Stewart correctly calculated I like a man with a great sense of humor. And I’m almost positive he used some of his Championship money to pay off in-flight scheduling. Amazingly, I was getting more Indianapolis layovers. For your information, Tony is from Indiana. You can only image my shock, when years later I found out the exit I took to get gas between Cincinnati and St. Louis, was the exit you take to go to Columbus, Indiana. Coincidentally, Columbus is Tony’s hometown. How he programmed my car to exit there, still baffles me. I now believe, without a doubt, the people at the clean gas station where I got my gas, were part of his stalking scheme. They made sure the restrooms were very clean each time I used them. Thus, increasing the odds I’d return on my next trip. This, I know now, was increasing Mr. Stewart’s odds of “running” into me. And the kind, older gentleman that worked the Wendy’s drive-thru?……I suspect he was in on the scheme, too. Luring me closer to Mr. Stewart hometown with a sweet, “Come back and see us REAL soon!”. That was extremely slick. Kudos to you, fiancé Stewart.

Through the years Tony has continued to stalk me. It never scares me. It actually humors me. When I see him I smile and laugh. In my head I’d think, “Hello fiancé Tony. I see you stalking me again”. And then I quietly move on with my day. Lately, fiancé Tony has upped his game again. The past few weeks I have been channel surfing to catch any sports on tv. Like other sports, there have been reruns of NASCAR races. Several times when I clicked on the races….there was Tony Stewart….AGAIN! Tony, sneakily timed passing a car on the race track, just as I turned the channel on. Clever guy. A few times when I turned the races on, Tony was being interviewed. Yes, he was talking to the reporter. But, as I was watching, I sensed he positioned himself right in front of the camera to talk right to me. A couple weeks ago, I went downstairs to watch a movie. I turned on the tv. I was perplexed as to why there was no picture. However, there was sound. Quizzically, I listened. That sound was Tony Stewart’s voice! I laughed at his stalking capabilities. He was a champion stalker. Tonight I went on Pinterest to amuse myself. There amongst all the recipes and inspirational quotes were several pictures of Mr. Stewart. He was once again staring right back at me with a “gotcha” look on his face. Stealth- like, Mr. Stewart anticipates my moves before I do. Coincidentally, I had Fox Sports1 on in the background. When I looked up from my iPad the announcer said it was Tony Stewart’s 49th birthday today. How convenient I was here to hear that? Too, convenient if you ask me.

No, my family doesn’t know that Tony Stewart is my fiancé. My friends don’t know Tony Stewart is my fiancé. (Well, except for my friend David, of course.) However, I think after all these years, Tony Stewart DOES know he is my fiancé. And he enjoys finding a plethora of ways to stalk me. The truth be told, I sort of enjoy it, too.