The Rerouted Skytress

I’m sitting here in my crew lounge wondering where the past six months have gone. It feels like yesterday I was heading home to start my vacation wondering what was going to happen to the world with COVID-19. Never could I imagine all that has happened. I am so grateful I was able to take the time off from flying and be there for my family. Not surprisingly, I didn’t sleep well last night before my first trip back flying. After thirty years of flying, I was extremely nervous about going to work. When I pulled into the employee parking lot I was shocked. There were very few cars. Usually, I have to park all the way at the end of an aisle. Today I parked next to the bus stop. There were only two other cars in the aisle with me. Happily, the shuttle driver still welcomed me aboard and then told me to have a safe flight as I left to go inside the airport. My St. Louis gate agents were still manning their posts…and as friendly as ever. I learned 20 St. Louis agents took the retirement package. I wasn’t shocked to hear this, but, it still made me sad. I admit, I did listen to all the PA’s the gate agents made in the gatehouse. We are now boarding from the back of the plane to the front of the plane. Once on the plane I listened intently to the PA’s the Skytresses made. So much has changed since I last flew. On deplaning passengers stay seated until the row ahead of them has retrieved their bags and are six feet ahead in the aisle. Amazingly, passengers adhered to this new deplaning procedure.

When I arrived in the crew lounge I saw boxes of face masks at the duty desk. One of the conference rooms is now a mandatory temperature check room. The health room where our on-site physical therapist treats Skytresses and Skyters is now a rapid COVID-19 test center for all employees. In 15 minutes any employee can find out if they have the virus. Our airline wants to continuously check the employees for the virus. Employees are also being tested for the COVID-19 antibodies. I, myself, go on Monday for this test. Our company is working in tandem with the Mayo Clinic to keep statistics on all the employees during COVID-19. After seeing all the changes in the lounge, I did spy several friends. Boy, it’s hard to recognize people with their face masks on and everyone in the same uniform. Almost everyone I encountered was returning to work for the first time, too. Many have vacation this month like me. We all decided flying only a couple trips this month would be a great way to ease back into flying. Looking around the crew lounge I dearly miss my friends that have retired. Many of my other friends are off on an extended company leave. I can’t wait until they come back to fly, too.

As, I write this,….I still have yet to work one of my flights. Yes, I’m sitting in the crew lounge a few hours before my trip. This part of my commute definitely hasn’t changed. I’m praying I have a good crew. Both of my Skytresses have the same first name. It can’t get much easier than that! Hopefully, at least one of them has flown a trip with the new protocols. As Ron would say, I feel discombobulated today. I feel like a new-hire Skytress. Tomorrow I’m sure I’ll feel like my old self. I’m not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I’ll let you know in the next paragraph.

So,….I made it through my first day of flying. My crew has been fabulous. Actually, fabulous is an understatement. These Skytresses have been flying all through COVID-19. Shockingly, they are both commuters. They earned my respect for getting to the airport when there were hardly any flights to commute on. These ladies are a wee bit senior to me. They have been beyond gracious showing me the new ropes. I struggled a wee bit trying to incorporate the old ways with the new ways. Even though the new ways are exceedingly easier than the old ways.

I definitely made a few observations my first day back flying. First, the airport had a lot more people than I expected. This is great news for our ailing airline industry. My fellow Skytresses told me they saw more business people flying on Tuesday. I like to think the passengers have come back flying because I am finally back flying. However, I’m sure many are like me and feel it’s time to get down to business and get flying again. I’ve found the airports are very quiet. There are definitely less passengers. I guess face masks are another reason there is less noise, too. I know many of us have discovered these past few months that face masks muffle even the loudest of talkers. I noticed many airport shops and eateries are not open, yet. This is adding to the lack of noise. Also the constant beeping of the electric carts is missing. I don’t miss that noise at all! Wheel chair attendants also aren’t bustling from gate to gate. It is evident people with health issues are staying home. I completely understand. Social distancing is keeping the once lively banter of fellow travelers to a minimum….both in the airport and on the airplane. Seats are blocked in the gate house areas, as well as, on our airplanes. Even the banter between employees is missing. The pilots give a friendly briefing and then head to the cockpit. I am very cognizant they are in tight quarters in the cockpit. So, I haven’t spoken to them much. Even our interactions with the passengers has been altered. I no longer have to repeat our snack selection to each passenger. I simply ask them if they would like a snack bag. The ziplock snack bag contains a bottle of water, several snacks and a hand sanitizer. Our in-flight service only takes four minutes to complete. Passengers are gracious to get the snack bag….then are happy to see me move along. Everyone is concerned about social distancing. They are rightly concerned about their health and safety. They are also concerned about our health and safety, too. I truly appreciate their concern. Another missing familiar sound is the constant clanging of beverage carts and supply carriers. Most carriers are no longer boarded since we currently don’t need them. We no longer have coffee or coffee pots. Basically, there is nothing to set up. The awful sound of ice being pounded in the galley is also missing. There isn’t the rustling of ice being scooped into glasses either. There isn’t a cane of soda or a can of juice to pop open. Ice, soda and juice cans have been removed from the aircraft.

To my amazement, there isn’t a rush to board the airplanes. Cleanliness is our number one priority. The agents and crew have to be happy with the cleanliness of the airplane before anyone boards. If there is any issue, the cleaning team comes back before one passenger steps on the plane. This is why so many people are flying our airline. They know we have strict policies in place. Airplanes get sanitized before every flight with a fogging machine that kills COVID-19. In addition to the hand sanitizer in the snack bags, passengers are handed a sanitizing wipe as they board. Everyone on my flights has been compliant with the face mask and face covering requirements. The crew’s are also wearing masks and gloves for protection. Like many people, I’ve learned wearing a mask from 5:30 am to 9:30 pm makes the back of your ears hurt. I’ve also learned, rather quickly, that the plastic gloves impede with typing and swiping on our company issued electronic devices. Needless to say, I’ve washed, wiped and sanitized more things than I ever had in one day at work. When I got to my hotel room I repeated the process.

The second day of my trip went much better. I actually felt like a rested thirty- year Skytress! It helped that I got to sleep in after my first day of flying. Eventually, I was woken to a text from my friend telling me to look at my seniority number. I jumped almost 2900 numbers with all the retirements. I was pleasantly shocked. In the grand scheme of things I am still in the middle of Skytress seniority. Now I just have to figure out how the new seniority numbers coincide with everyone’s hire date. The most junior person jumped 4000 numbers. But, they are still the most junior person who graduated in March. ….Which I learned yesterday is called “the COVID Class”.

Okay, you are now reading a new paragraph. But, a lot has happened. I flew home to St. Louis between my two trips. I’m on a new trip with a new crew of Skytresses. I have another great crew. But, I’m starting to wonder if after COVID -19 I will recognize my fellow crew members without their masks. Times are sure mixed up right now. I did watch the Clemson football team deplane next to us when we were in Greensboro. Their players were all wearing nice suits. They all had face masks on and clear face shields. As I watched the players through the cockpit window, I was talking with our first officer. He told me he would be furloughed starting October 1st. He was former military and was hired by our airline last year. He hopes he won’t be furloughed too long. He is very optimistic. I am going to be optimistic, too.

Another new paragraph…another new day. Yesterday was 9-11. I watched an incredibly moving video in my hotel room late at night when I couldn’t sleep. A Skytress friend posted the video on Facebook about the Flight 93 National Memorial located just outside of Shanksville, Pennsylvania. I encourage everyone to watch it. It was informative and extremely touching. I am determined one day to visit the museum and pay my respect to those heroes. After I watched the video, I saw another 9-11 post from another Skytress friend. This post was about the thirty- three crew members that died on 9-11. I learned so many lovely personal details about each person. When I started to read the comments I broke down crying. Below the pictures of each crew member, were comments from their friends at American Airlines and United Airlines. As I read the comments, I could feel how they dearly missed their friends. Their hearts were broken. My heart broke for them.

It’s Sunday evening now. Boy, we have been on such a journey in this blog post! I am so relieved these past two trips went well. I’m now officially on vacation again. I will not fly until October. I am glad I went back flying this week. I faced a fear and I am glad I did. It was great to get back to my Skytress life. However, I haven’t forgotten I had six months off from flying, either. After six days of flying, I miss that life, too. I wanted to come back to fly and show myself that COVID-19 didn’t beat me. COVID-19 changed my Skytress life, but, it didn’t rob me of my Skytress career. But, by coming back to fly this week, I also learned I could peacefully walk away from flying, too. I had a taste of life outside of flying. It tasted good. I’m not sure how COVID-19 will continue to affect my world in the coming months. But, I am at peace. I’ve decided after flying these past six days …. I have nothing but blue skies whether that be on the ground or at 35,000 feet.

This Friday will be the nineteenth anniversary of 9-11. The other day when I was looking for pictures of my sister for my blog post about her, three pictures of the World Trade Center Twin Towers in New York fell to the ground. I took these pictures when my family went back East. My sister Patti was running in the NYC marathon. We went to New York to cheer her on and to visit our relatives. I remember I loved the pictures of the towers when I got them developed. Now, I look at them and I am sad….and I remember. I remember September 11, 2001, like it was yesterday. I can no longer look at pictures of the airplanes hitting the towers. I turn my head. Though we may all fly for different airlines, we in the airline industry consider each other family. Thirty-three of our family members died on 9-11. This week I will again wear my 9-11 airline pin in honor of each crew member.

For several years after the terrorist attacks, I chose not to fly on September 11th. I know I am not the only one. I have talked to numerous crew members that didn’t and still don’t fly on the 11th. I, fortunately, was not flying on 9-11. I had transferred from Atlanta to Cincinnati and I had to switch my vacation dates. I had just moved into my new house in Cincinnati, so I changed my October vacation to September. The morning of September 11, I was heading across town to go to physical therapy to treat a bulging disk. I had the radio on in my car. I remember the DJ’s talking about a plane hitting the World Trade Center. I thought they were doing a skit like Orson Welles’, “War of the Worlds”, where martians invade the Earth. I couldn’t believe a radio station would air a skit as tasteless as this. I turned the radio off in disgust. When I entered the Medical building for therapy every one asked me if I heard what had happened. They all knew I was a Skytress. I stood in disbelief with them as we watched the television. When I got home I had numerous messages from friends checking to see if I was flying that day. I called them back as the cable man hooked up my TV cable for the first time in my new home. Then I sat for days by myself watching Peter Jennings on ABC World News Tonight. He talked and I cried. Everyone in my neighborhood lit candles and placed them on our porches at night. We all hung out our American flags. These were simple gestures to express our utter sadness….and our resilience as a nation.

I was in Atlanta days before 9-11 with my friends and my family. My best friend, Tara, a Skytress for United, was married on September 8th. There were several people from her airline and my airline in Atlanta for the wedding. Our friend, John, a Secret Service Agent on President Bush’s detail, was also there for the wedding. We all made it back to our respective homes before 9-11 and before the skies went quiet. Needless to say, my heart ached for my friends that flew for United. Tara told me American Airlines sent a flower wreath to their crew lounge. I can’t imagine how powerful that was to see. I thought about that days later when I was in our crew lounge preparing for my first trip after the terrorist attacks. I remember walking by our duty desk in our crew lounge. Skytresses and Skyters were calling in to get off their trips. No questions were asked when they called in. Everyone understood. I went to my flight with my crew. Our crew briefing with the pilots was like no other. John’s email warning me to be careful and keep my eyes open for anything usual had me on full alert. However, I quickly felt empowered when the handful of passengers came on the airplane. Even though we were all nervous about flying for the first time after the attacks, I knew with certainty they were now part of our crew. We all had each other’s backs if anything happened on the flight. Several weeks later, I was flying when American Airlines flight 587 crashed in New York City. I remember our Skytress-In Charge was called to the cockpit. The pilots told her a plane had gone down in NYC. They suspected it was an accident, but the FAA wasn’t sure it wasn’t another terrorist attack. They told her we were over Atlanta, so if we had to land, Atlanta would be our airport. I can honestly say when our Skytress-In Charge first told us this, I thought I was going to be sick. It took me a moment to regain my composure. I felt guilty for hoping it was just a plane crash. The passengers had no idea about the American airplane. We Skytresses acted as if everything was normal, but we started to develop an action plan just in case. Thankfully we landed in Cincinnati without any incident.

The topic of conversation for our crews the next few days and weeks centered around whether you were flying on September 11th. I flew with one Skyter that went out on a one day trip with no luggage. He got grounded in Boise, Idaho for a few days. He told me every morning he would go to the sports bar behind the hotel and buy a $2 sports team t-shirt to wear for the day. Then there was the story of the Cincinnati Skytresses thinking outside the box for getting home from Atlanta. They knew renting a car was no longer an option…..all cars had been rented. They decided to rent a U-Hall van. A passenger on their flight drove them to the U-Hall facility. They made it home safely. I flew with another Atlanta Skytress that told me her daughter and a pilot’s son were taken to the principal’s office on 9-11 and were told what had happened to the World Trade Center towers. She said the principal wanted to put the children at ease that their parents were not on the airplanes. It only made them more scared that something could happen to their parents that day, too. Her story definitely made me wonder about all the other experiences the children of airline employees across the world encountered on that awful day.

I flew with another Skytress that was at Reagan Airport in Washington D.C. on 9-11. She said she and the first officer were out walking the concourse between flights. They could see smoke outside. They thought it was just a big fire. Then there was an announcement that passengers needed to evacuate the airport. Airline crews were to report to a designated area. The Skytress said they were told about the airplanes hitting the towers and the smoke they were seeing was from another plane hitting the Pentagon. There was great concern that the airport could be another target, so they needed to evacuate, too. She told me all the crews left the airport and walked to the airport hotel. She said people were evacuating the city in their cars en mass as they walked along the roads to the hotel. She, also informed me, to this day she never leaves the plane without water. She explained it was a warm day in D.C. She told me she became extremely thirsty walking with all her bags to the hotel. No one thought about bringing water for the hot walk. They were in shock and just wanted to get away from the airport. When they arrived at the hotel one of our airline Captains took a copy of each crew’s flight rotations to call the company and tell them who was at the hotel. The Skytress said they could smell the jet fuel and smoke the whole time they were there. She recalled how she quietly sat in her hotel room and listen to the fighter jets continuously fly overhead. I thought about this story several years later when I was in D.C. the night before 9-11. I had flown on other 9-11’s and I never had an issue. That night I started to have a panic attack. I was in the same hotel as the Skytress had been staying in on 9-11. I could hear airplanes flying overhead. I worried about someone defiantly crashing one of those planes into the airport. I texted Ron that I couldn’t sleep. He asked me why. I told him I was in D.C. and tomorrow was 9-11. He told me he understood. He sent me some funny texts to ease my mind. Then he called me to check on me. He gave me some breathing techniques to use so I could calm my nerves and go to sleep. Hours later, I standing was in the crew security line at the airport. The passenger security line was next to us. Several passengers were wearing 9-11 pins and 9-11 patriotic shirts. We silently acknowledged each other and the fact that it was 9-11. No one on my crew said anything about it being September 11th. On the last leg of our day, our young Skyter-In Charge came back in the plane and asked us if we knew it was September 11th. He completely forgot until a passenger said something. The rest of us Skytresses knew it was 9-11. Unlike him, we all were flying in 2001. We Skytresses had been thinking about it all day. No one wanted to say anything. We all decided separately that we wanted to quietly make it through the day.

I remember when the National September 11 Memorial and Museum was first opened in New York. The lines into the memorial were long. However, if you were an airline crew member you were able to go in before other visitors. This was a small way the memorial recognized the airline crews as being the first responders on 9-11. Our security training since 9-11 has changed drastically. This is largely in part because of what we know the crews and passengers on United and American did to try to stop the hijackings. I like to remind younger Skytresses and Skyters what our protocols were prior to 9-11. I like to tell them about the strict procedures we had to follow flying into certain cities, such as Washington D.C., right after the terrorist attacks. I wear my 9-11 pin so the younger generation of Skytresses and Skyters will know that we must always honor those crews that died on 9-11. Friday as I fly my trip, I will look out the airplane window and say a prayer for all those who died on September 11th. I will pray for all those who mourn them. I will say an extra prayer for the crews of American Flight # 11, United Flight 175, American Flight #77, and United Flight #93. After all, we are family and I will forever honor and remember them.

Yesterday,…Wednesday, I got my September trip schedule. I know you are reading this blog post Monday. Yes, I start my blog posts about a week out. It takes me a week of dabbling here and there to get my blog right for Monday. I’m sorry if I shattered the illusion that I sit down Monday and effortlessly write my blog. But,….I digressed. Like I said, I got my September schedule on Wednesday. You may remember, I left for vacation on March 9th. Almost six months later….September 8th, I will return to fly. Am I scared to go back flying? Yes. COVID is still out there. I’m not afraid of getting it. I’m afraid of bringing it home and getting my family sick. I’m also nervous because so much has changed at my airline. Numerous protocols and many new PA’s have been implemented. I, also, have an irrational fear I’ll have a temperature with the new mandatory crew temperature testing. I’m not fearful of having a temperature due to the virus,….but, because I’m usually hot in my uniform. Sweating hot….not sexy hot! It’s an unfounded fear because I have had my temperature taken many times at doctor’s appointments and at the hair salon. Each time I have been fine. Fortunately, I have friends that have been flying since self-quarantines went into effect with COVID-19. I know with certainty they’ve battled their own COVID fears and concerns every day. Now it is my turn to battle COVID on a larger battlefield. I’ve done small battles with COVID these past few months. I donned my gear and cautiously went to the grocery store. I finally marched to the doctors after procrastinating for months. I’ve even removed my mask and had a facial. Now, I am going to cautiously commence a forward advance on the COVID battlefield and reclaim a big part of my life. Of course, I’ll miss the TV rodeos I’ve newly discovered these past few weeks. But, hey, we all know, there usually is some collateral damage in battles .

I’ve watched so many people these past few months take back their lives in big and small ways. They’ve haven’t let COVID win. Things started off small for some…a walk around the neighborhood….getting the courage to go to the stores or picking up restaurant meals. It sounds silly, but, these were once major decisions for many. Then actors John Krasinski and Leslie Jordan took to Instagram and helped people smile and laugh again. John created the much needed, “Some Good News”. Leslie talks directly to us on Instagram and makes us howl with his pillow talk posts. These two won’t let COVID win. I applaud them. I also look forward to their posts everyday. They fill my soul with much needed happiness.

Then there were the graduates that got punched in the gut by COVID. They were denied the celebrations so many of us got to experience. But, graduates and the people that love them, learned to pivot. They found creative ways to celebrate the scholarly accomplishments. They had parades. They had home graduations. They had virtual graduations. They had social- distancing graduations on football fields. They battled COVID by outsmarting it and won.

COVID has been wreaking havoc with birthday celebrations, as well. Birthday party parade celebrations are now the norm. Creative yard signs have started popping up everywhere. I love it! Many of us didn’t know about Zoom parties. But we do now. Kudos to birthdays for battling COVID and being victorious.

People in nursing homes have taken a vicious hit from COVID. Many residents have gotten the virus. Sadly, many have died. Nursing homes are still on lockdown. My heart breaks for those who haven’t been able to see or hug their loved ones in months. However, there are small victories to celebrate. Some nursing homes have figured out how to use plexiglass to let families visit. A few creative places have constructed safe hugging booths. One lovely lady got a part-time job in the nursing home where her husband was living because of Alzheimer’s…just so she could see him. These people went hand-to- hand combat with COVID and are winning.

COVID has ravaged thousands of wedding plans. Brides and grooms are being denied experiences they’ve dreamed about all their lives. Many have postponed their wedding….some several times. These couples will let COVID think it’s won. But, they will eventually get married when the time is right for them. Oh, but, the really determined….they have found ways to beat COVID at it’s nasty game. They haven’t let COVID snatch the date they happily chose months before. These couples have gotten married at home, in empty churches, on beaches and even in their front yards with their neighbors being witnesses to their special day. These couples kept their wedding dates and defied COVID. These couples are celebrating the true meaning of a wedding day….the joining of two lives before God. Everyone knows, if you have that, you really don’t need anything or anyone else on your wedding day. I raise my glass in a congratulatory toast to those of you that battled COVID and said “I, do.”

Of course, there have been births and funerals these past few months. I know expectant parents have worried about being in hospitals where so many COVID patients were and are being treated. My heart breaks for those families that couldn’t be at their loved one’s side to say goodbye before God called them back home. But, my heart is filled with love for the frontline people that comforted a dying person or said a prayer in place of family member before the last breath was taken. I say extra prayers at night for all of them. Funerals with masks and social distancing is not a proper send off for a life well- lived. COVID…. I hate you for this!

If you still have a job, I believe you beat COVID. If you can still pay your bills, I believe you beat COVID. If you have traveled more than 10 miles outside your home, I believe you beat COVID. I haven’t traveled more than 10 miles from my house. But, I can still get out to places. So, I believe I beat COVID in this battle, too. I am not quarantined alone, so I am blessed. I can even attend church on-line. Even though I am in St. Louis, I have been going to Mass at the church Ron and I attened in Georgia. The past few weeks, I’ve watched couples renew their wedding vows on their 50th wedding anniversaries. And I’ve delighted in seeing catechumen become Catholic. These are glorious victories in my book.

These past few months I’ve pretty much avoided the news. Well, at least the highlights on the evening news. I have watched many press conferences with Dr. Fauci and Dr. Birx. I’ve watched the heads of companies in their briefings talk about how they are pivoting to meet the supplies and demands since COVID. I read about the numerous vaccines that are being tested. I have less fear and more hope because of this. However, like so many, I have been beaten by COVID on several occasions. I’ve said and done things in anger. I know the stress of living in the world of COVID isn’t normal. Consequently, I’ve lashed out at those I love most. I also have seen people in the news lash out at others in stores and restaurants. When I see this, I know just like me, COVID beat these people on these days, too. Stress rears its ugly head at the worst times. Everything about COVID is stressful. There is a saying I love that says, “Rudeness is a weak person’s imitation of strength.” I believe COVID has made us weak at times and rudeness is a by-product. I was reminded today of James 1:26….”26 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless”. I profess, I am going to keep a tighter reign on my tongue. Sadly, COVID likes to battle us relentlessly on this ground.

Like so many, I like to look on the positive side of things. I truly believe we choose our attitudes everyday. So, I try to remember to choose a positive one,…especially now with COVID. I acknowledge, because of COVID, I’ve spent more quality time with my family and my dog Finley. All my family members and I are healthy. COVID hasn’t changed that. I’ve seen the beauty of people coming together to help their fellow man during COVID. I’ve seen people pivot and then pivot again to outsmart COVID. Our house is more organized and cleaner than ever….a by-product of COVID. I’ve read a lot during quarantine. I’ve also been spending many hours in my art room blissfully creating. As you all know, I started this blog. Yes, I’ve battled COVID in my own personal ways. I have been victorious more than I have been beaten. On September 8th, I will put on my Skytress uniform. I will pack my bags, armed with face masks, hand sanitizer and antibacterial wipes. I will be nervous, of course. But my airline family will be there for me…and with me. I will battle COVID as best as I can until the vaccines are here. Have no fear. Like Dan Rather, I will report from the front-line. After all, I am The Rerouted Skytress.

So, last Monday was my sister Patti’s birthday. It isn’t important how old she turned. What is important is,….that she is older than me. Gee wiz. That line never gets old! As Chris Myers from Fox Sports says,…I kid, because I love. My sister Patti is my biggest cheerleader in life. She is my mentor. She is my inspiration for trying new things in life that excite my soul, ….even if I’m not sure I’m ready to try something new. Big sisters always know when we are ready. Especially, mine.

Patti and I shared the same bedroom for the “annoying big sister – annoying little sister” years. We would get on each other’s nerves all the time. We always wished we had our own rooms. Then our older sister, Maureen, would do something that we thought was completely crazy. Patti and I would sit in our room together and be grateful neither one of us had to share a room with her. Now, some of you may know, I get teased a lot about being a neatnik. My sister Patti proudly says her daughter Megan takes after me. Well, the truth be told, I was trained by Patti. I believe she conveniently forgets this fact. Yes, my sister Patti raked our bedroom shag carpet with a wooden rake so the carpet pile would stand straight up. Then I was not allowed to walk on it. Patti didn’t like me putting footmarks on her groomed carpet. I was also admonished if I put a wrinkle on the bedspreads. Well,….. her bedspread. I would try to even out the ripples, however, she always knew it was my butt that messed up her bed. For better or worse, Patti has followed in our Mother’s footsteps. Our Mother was a neatnik until she had children. Patti was a neatnik until she had children. Fortunately for everyone, shag carpet left our lives many years ago. Although, I would have loved to see Megan drag a wooden rake into her room to groom it. I never got a picture of my sister raking the shag carpet. I most definitely would have pictures if Megan did.

Patti was always surprising my parents with unique requests. They were innocent requests, though. She would like a camping tent. A unicycle would be fabulous. Would it be okay to turn part of the basement into a darkroom? You may remember my parents are from Jersey City. When my city-raised dad went to the camping store, he came home with the biggest tent they sold. Patti set it up in the middle of the yard and it became the summer fort. If I close my eyes, I can still smell the green canvas material baking in the summer heat. It’s was an oddly, unpleasant….pleasant smell. It makes me smile to think about it now. My parents bought the unicycle, too. Our elementary school had a unicycle team. Patti was on it. Among many unicycle tricks, Patti could ride her unicycle straight across a gymnastic floor balance beam. My parents proudly threw the unicycle in the car when we went back East to visit our relatives. I’m sure our relatives thought people in the Midwest were a wee bit peculiar riding unicycles at school. I’m also certain the neighbors asked our relatives A LOT of questions after we left. The darkroom might be considered just as odd. However, Patti loved photography. There was plenty of room in the basement to set up a darkroom. So, my parents happily agreed to let Patti have a one. My parents immediately fell in love with the black and white photography Patti printed. I did, too. I eventually learned from my sister how to develop film and make prints on my own. Patti just set up another darkroom in her house a few weeks ago. Now she and her girls can develop film and print pictures. I’m so excited for my sister and her girls. Patti has wanted to do this since they moved into their house years ago. I’m excited for me, too. I know I will be invited will hang out in darkroom with my sister. It will be like old times.

A couple years ago my sister decided she would like to play the cello. Patti played the flute when she was younger. So, learning to play an instrument was not new to her. One evening we were in Patti’s car driving to watch her daughter, Jill, play the violin in the college symphony. Patti informed me then she was going to take lessons to learn to play the cello. I guess I should have been surprised by this declaration, but, I wasn’t. Patti is always trying something new. Patti has spent many hours in her living room practicing her cello. Her dog, Charlie, faithfully lays at her feet while she practices. Charlie and all of us are extremely impressed with her cello performances these days. Jill and Patti even collaborated to surprise my brother-in-law with a string duet for a Father’s Day gift. Patti hid her cello for weeks so my brother-in-law would be surprised she took up playing the cello. He was surprised on two accounts. One, that she learned to play the cello. Two, that she hid such an awkwardly big instrument from him.

For awhile, running was Patti’s passion. When I was living in Cincinnati, Patti came to visit and ran a half-marathon in the Air Force Marathon, in Dayton, Ohio. I, on the other hand, sat in the car and waited for her to finish so we could eventually go see the Air Force museum. Patti also ran in the Walt Disney World half-marathon to prepare for the New York Marathon. Our entire family went back East when she ran in that marathon. Patti ran 26.2 miles. In contrast, my Uncle George, brother Brian and I drove from my Aunt and Uncle’s house in New Jersey hours later to cheer her on as she finished the marathon. Unlike my sister, the only running I do is when I am forced to run the concourse sprint to catch my flight home. Fortunately for me, I don’t have to do this too often. Patti gave up running after she ran the New York Marathon. She eventually set her sights on hiking the Grand Canyon. For months, Patti would walk up and down the stairs in her house with a weighted backpack on. She also walked all around the neighborhood and the nearby parks with her backpack to train. Patti and her friends hiked the Grand Canyon for three days. This year she set her sights on hiking Yosemite. Unfortunately, COVID delayed those plans. So, instead, Patti painted her deck, her shutters, her front door, side-house door, patio furniture……..

It is no secret that Patti is not the best cook. We still tease her about the time she had to call the firemen one evening when she was making dinner. But, if we need an answer to a computer or phone issue, she is our go-to-gal. Patti set up our Alexa device. Patti uses her Alexa device for everything. Patti proudly tells Alexa to add items to her grocery list and it updates her grocery list on her phone. I still make a paper grocery list. Yes, I do use our Alexa device all the time. I ask Alexa to tell me pirate jokes.

I’m very fortunate Patti lives in the subdivision behind us. I don’t worry about my Mom and Brian when I am flying. Patti is just minutes away if they need her. She is there if I need her, too. She drove me to the emergency room late one night. She made me laugh for hours, even though I was very scared. She also had me laughing as she drove me to my out-patient procedures in the wee hours of the morning. Patti jokes and calls our Mom her “backup husband”. I call Patti my “backup husband”. When Ron died Patti was there immediately to console me. When I asked her if she would come with me to Warm Springs Ranch to see the Clydesdales,….something Ron and I had planned to do,…she didn’t hesitate to come. My niece, Jill, also came. We had a beautiful day. Needless to say, I will always cherish the memories we made that day.

I cannot tell you how many times Patti has moved her patient load around to be there for our family. More importantly, she has moved her patient load around to be there for her girls. I remember when the “find my friends” app first came out for phones. Patti downloaded it on my brother-in-law’s phone. Patti wanted her husband, Pat, ….yes, they are Patti and Pat…..to see how much time she spent in her car between treating patients and driving the girls everywhere. My brother-in-law never looks at the app. Patti’s daughters and all of our family all have the app. Again,….thanks to Patti. We all know the endless miles she has driven to get her girls to such places as, school, sports games, music practices, and youth church activities. Because of her endless devotion and dedication, Patti has raised the most loving, compassionate, talented daughters. They are beautiful and smart young ladies. They definitely take after my sister. Patti’s has been a mother and a mentor to her girls. Jill takes after Patti with her love of music and love of teaching. Jill is majoring in music and education. Jamie inherited Patti’s love for the camera and is majoring in electronic arts and video studies. Megan, not surprisingly, is going to become a physical therapist just like her mom.

My sister Patti may have turned another year older last week. But, her zest for life and her determination to feed her soul has remained fresh and exciting as ever. Her faith in God and positivity in life has only grown with the passing years. Patti inspires me daily. She is not only a remarkable sister. She is an exceptional human being. My big sister has taught me well. More importantly she has loved me well.

“Leadership is an action, not a position.”-Donald McGannon

Every flight has a Skytress or Skyter In-Charge. In thirty years I have flown with some of the best flight leaders. I have also had the misfortune to fly with a few flight leaders that failed to lead. They truly exemplified that leadership was only a position and not an action. The later group usually ended up on my no-fly list. Every Skytress and Skyter has one of those lists. Not surprisingly, many of us have the same names on our lists. We also have a list of flight leaders we will happily swap to fly with….even if it is an awful trip. Needless to say, I’ve learned a lot from Skytresses and Skyters on both of these lists.

I used to fly as the Skytress In-Charge a lot. There were several years where I exclusively flew in-charge….even if I didn’t want too. Yep, I would be escalated to the position. It became quite humorous to me after awhile. Now, I only dabble with flying in- charge. I do love flying in-charge and setting the mood for the trip. My mood is fun. Unfortunately, some flight leaders pack their bags full of drama and bring it with them every trip. When I tell my crew I am laid back, I mean it. I’m a very hard worker. But, I love to have fun with my crew and fellow airline family. I love a drama free trip. I love to keep everyone….crew and passengers happy. Stress is bad for everyone. Oh how I desperately wish some Skytresses and Skyters In-Charge that I’ve flown with in the past, believed this, too.

I loved flying with Ron when he was the Skyter In-Charge. He was more laid back than me. Ron used to work the ramp and was also a ramp supervisor. He was a gate agent and an agent supervisor. He also worked in numerous other capacities at our airline. Ron knew what each job entailed. He used this knowledge to his advantage and wouldn’t get worked up about most things. He knew jobs always got done on time….without everyone madly spinning on their heels. I would laugh when an agent would come on the plane at mach-10. Many times, they would hastily assume someone else, besides Ron, was in-charge. Between flights, Ron would usually sit in the aisle seat in the first row of the main cabin. Ron liked sitting there so he could comfortably stretch his long legs. The overly-eager agents always seemed irritated they had to walk to the main cabin to brief with Ron. I knew Ron loved making them do this. He would slowly nod as the agents breathlessly rushed through their briefing. The agents, most time, would wrongly assume Ron was going to quickly jump up and be as eager to board the airplane as they were. Instead, each time, Ron would stand up slowly. He would tug at his pants that always hugged his muscular thighs. He would tighten, then straighten his tie,…without saying a word. This slow, methodical- primping action would disarm the agents. The agents would have to stand there and wait. Ron’s size was intimidating to many gate agents. He was usually a foot taller than most people….and he had big muscles. I know Ron was aware of this and used it to his advantage. Ron had this standard routine. He would look at the agents without saying anything. He would move closer to them. Then he would then gently place his hands on their shoulders. At this point, most gate agents were usually unsure of what he was going to do next. Then in a slow calming voice Ron would say to them….”Everything is going to be okay”. He would bewilder the agents with his calmness. It was incredibly funny to watch. We would always laugh as the slightly confused agents headed back up the jetway. Ron would act accordingly when an agitated passenger would board ready to verbally do battle with someone. Ron would stop them in their tracks by silently standing there. He would let the person rant. Then he would curiously look at them for a long silent pause. Just as he did with agents, Ron would tell them….”Everything is going to be okay”. Sometimes he would chuckle at the absurdity of the passenger’s rant. He would use his clever humor to disarm them. On more than one occasion I would see these disgruntled passengers realize they were not going to get the best of Ron. Again his size would intimidate them. I witnessed many passengers trying to save face with Ron later in the flight. They would try to win him over by asking him what position or football team he played for in college. Ron would say he gave up football in high school to play drums. Again he would leave them speechless. A speechless passenger always made me smile…. especially the ones with a chip on their shoulders.

I fly with so many fabulous Skytress and Skyters In-Charge, I could write novels about them. But, I know everyone is waiting to hear some stories about the Skytresses and Skyters In-Charge that are not leaders in action. So, I won’t disappoint you. They are notorious for a reason. Like the Skyter-in charge that we deemed the load- hopper. He wanted to be wherever the passengers weren’t. He thought he was clever in how he hopped from one cabin to the next. Well, he wasn’t too clever. We all saw what he was doing and decided we wouldn’t fly with him again. Then we had the Skytress In-Charge that wouldn’t let anyone touch anything in HER galley. Which was hard because HER galley was also OUR galley. She would berate anyone that left a cup or can on HER counter as they were breaking down their beverage carts. She would question why we’re opening up carts and carriers after the service. Our replies were always the same….a passenger had asked for something. She would always give us a displeased look. I know people swap off her trips all the time. No one wants to deal with that craziness for three days. I also flew with a gal that came into briefing and immediately looked at me and another Skytress about my seniority. Without saying hello to anyone she asked us when we two were going to retire. I was 50 at the time. The male Skyter audibly gasped. Under his breath he said, “Wow.” She told us she didn’t want to be in-charge. The Skyter on our trip said he would gladly switch positions with her. She declined saying she didn’t want to fly in-charge, but, she wanted the Skytress In-Charge money. Then she complained and didn’t do any work for three days. When we pointed it out to her she said she didn’t care…..she hated people and the job. The Skyter said if he wasn’t transferring bases after our trip, he would definitely put her on his no-fly list. I’m sure she has landed on a few Skytresses and Skyter’s no-fly lists.

There must be something about crew briefings that bring the worst out in some Skytresses In-Charge. I was in the briefing room having a fabulous time talking with my fellow Skyter. The Skytress In-Charge came in and the first thing out of her mouth was ….she hoped she didn’t have to write anyone up on the trip. The Skyter and I gave each other a good eye-roll. She didn’t see it because she refused to look at us. The rest of the trip she wanted to throw passengers off the plane. She was waiting for someone to give her a reason to do so. The first leg of our trip the Skyter I was flying with found a book in the overhead bin. It was a survival book. He joked saying maybe we should read it. I should have kept it. I, unfortunately, ended up flying with this gal again. Simply because I forgot her name. When she came into briefing my heart sank. I braced myself for another awful three days of flying. She did not disappoint me. She didn’t say hello to one passenger for three days. Heck, she barely spoke to the crew. She did get a departure delay charged to her because she made catering come back to the plane. She insisted catering didn’t board the first-class meals. Of course, she didn’t checked all the ovens. She was adamant that catering never puts meals in “those” ovens. We all told her we always check ALL the ovens when we fly in-charge. Everyone knows catering puts meals in different ovens all the time. She didn’t appreciate us pointing out the obvious to her. She didn’t talk to us the rest of the flight. The only time she was really happy was when we flew with a pilot I used to date. He briefed her, saying if she wasn’t happy with someone on board, he would support her in having them removed from the plane. When he said this, I finally saw her smile for the first time…ever. Later,when he and I went out on our layover, he told me he knew from her overly-delightful reaction, he had said the wrong thing in his briefing. I told him he most definitely had. I then briefed him on my horrible flying experiences with her. I explained to him how I had forgotten her name after flying with her the first time. I promised him I would definitely remember her name after the second trip. And I have.

The last Skytress In-Charge I flew with that was…as Ron would say, …awful, awful, awful,….I flew with two times, as well. I remembered her name from the first trip and swore I would never fly with her again. Unfortunately, the second time she swapped onto my trip as I was commuting into Atlanta. It was extremely miserable flying the first trip with her. The list of incredibly ugly things she said and did is too long to recap. I will highlight one awful situation from the first trip, though. We were in the middle of boarding a flight when she completely lost her mind. She screamed at the gate agent in full view of passengers in the jetway. She was enraged the agent had not previously started checking bags. She shouted she had sent her a message. The agent tried to explain to the Skytress the computers were down they weren’t receiving messages. The Skytress didn’t care….she kept hollering at the agent that she sent the message. Of course, later, the Skytress told the other two on our crew a completely different story. When she wasn’t around they asked me what really happened. They didn’t believe her side of the story. Unfortunately, we flew into this city several times on our trip. The poor agent must have died inside every time she opened the airplane door and saw her. I felt sorry for the agent. The agent told me later she prayed for our crew. She knew she only had to deal with the Skytress In-Charge for a few minutes. We had to deal with her for days. The second trip the Skytress In-Charge was just as mean. She made the other Skytress on my crew cry. She was so happy she made her cry, too. The Captain and I watched in disbelief as the one Skytress ultimately broke down and the Skytress In-Charge proudly relished the reaction. The Captain could tell the Skytress In-Charge was a bully. He desperately tried to mend the situation before we changed planes. After we changed planes, he came to the back of the plane to have a second peace conference with the crew. The Skytress In-Charge sat with a smirk on her face the whole time. The Captain could tell his words were falling on deaf ears. But, the other Skytress said she would be fine the rest of the trip and he believed her. Later she told me she was mad at herself for giving the Skytress In-Charge the satisfaction of seeing her cry. Fortunately, rarely do we fly with these types of flight leaders. If you see Skytresses and Skyters crying on the plane, they are usually tears of laughter. As we always tell each other when we fly with sub-par flight leaders, this job is too easy, to make it so hard.

Skytresses and Skyters are known to smile and laugh…a lot. It helps to be a happy person if you do this job. Passengers like happy crew members. But, let’s be real. We fly long hours and deal with a plethora of different passenger personalities. A few crabby passengers can turn your day in an instant. Sometimes we Skytresses and Skyters need to create our own fun to get through a trip.

One game we like to play is the Manifest Game. Typically, the gate agent will give the crew the pre-departure paper work before the passengers board the airplane. On this paperwork are the names of each first-class passenger. To play the Manifest Game each person on the crew will look over the manifest. Then each crew member will pick a name of the first-class passenger they think will board the airplane first. The only information we go by are the passenger’s last name, their airline status, and possibly a connection city. Of course, I pick my name like I pick my horse to win the Kentucky Derby. It’s all in the name that “speaks” to me. Yes, it’s a silly, simple game we play. But, when your passenger boards first… it’s a glorious feeling. There is another Manifest Game we play as well. The crew will look over the first-class passenger’s names before we board. Then we pick the name of the person we want to be our “flight boyfriend”. Oh the smiles we give each other when our flight boyfriends arrive. Every once in awhile you get a great flight boyfriend. Mostly we don’t. And the worse your flight boyfriend is….the better for the rest of the crew. The person who gets the “Dud -flight boyfriend” is subjected to innocent teasing from the crew for the rest of the flight. You may remember I have picked very few Kentucky Derby horse winners based on names alone. The same can be said about my flight boyfriends. Yes, I usually pick the “Dud- flight boyfriend”. Oh well, I still love the game.

One Christmas my crew and I created what we thought would be a fabulous game. Each of us Skytresses wore a Christmas bell around our necks. If you saw a cute passenger on the flight you were to jingle your bell. This way the other Skytresses would know you spied someone special. Now years ago, we flew with the same crew all month. So, two weeks before Christmas we started playing this game. For two weeks we didn’t give one jingle. We all laughed about it. Where were all the cute passengers? We thought this was going to be the perfect holiday game. My Skytress friends and I flew one more trip after Christmas. I didn’t bring our Christmas bells for this trip. Christmas was over for us. We had moved on. On one of our first flights after Christmas, I was working the beverage cart with my friend Jennie Lou. As, I was pouring a drink Jennie Lou starting saying, “Jingle, Jingle”. I wasn’t sure what she was doing. So I looked right at her. Again she said, “Jingle, Jingle”. This time she gave me the look. I followed her eyes. There in the row she was serving was a very cute passenger. I looked back at Jennie Lou. I smiled and said a very happy, “Jingle, Jingle” back to her. The passengers looked at us. They had no idea what we were doing. But, they smiled because we were smiling and giggling. For the rest of the trip we “Jingled”. It was a post- Christmas miracle. Cute guys were everywhere!

One of our best Skyters loves to have fun on his trips. Skyters and Skytresses love flying with him. Skyter Steve travels with a fart machine. He flies in-charge most of his trips. Steve likes to stand at the boarding door and keep his fart machine close by in the cockpit. When an unsuspecting passenger steps into the plane he will press the button. Then Steve will either make a face, or a comment. The unsuspecting passengers have multiple reactions. Mostly, they have a hearty laugh. One day the first officer saw what Steve was doing. So, he stood next to Steve at the boarding door. The two worked in tandem. They were extremely good at embarrassing the unsuspecting person. I eventually had to leave the galley and the boarding door. I couldn’t stop laughing. Even when I was in the aisle I could hear the fart machine going off. I kept giggling. The first-class passengers started giggling, too. They were now privy to what Steve and the first officer were doing. Steve pressed the fart machine button for three days. Not surprisingly, the crew laughed for three days, too. I’ve flown with Steve numerous times. He doesn’t always bring out his fart machine. But, if the crew is dragging, he will bring it out. It is an instant crew mood changer.

For years, we used to cut our own lemons and limes for the passenger’s drinks. After 9-11, the the galley knives were removed for security purposes. However, prior to 9-11, catering would usually board more lemons and limes than we needed. Because of this,…a crew game was eventually created. A Skytress or Skyter would sit on the aft jumpseat with the extra fruit. When the plane would land and the thrust reverser would be activated by the pilots, the person on the aft jumpseat would let the lemons and limes go. The object of the game was to see how far the fruit would go down the aisle. The reactions of the passengers when they saw the fruit flying down the aisle was priceless. I know the passengers thought it was a just an unassuming piece of fruit that must have dislodged from somewhere in the aft galley. Little did they know we were playing a game. One day my friend Kelly was on the aft jumpseat. She let a lime go down the aisle as soon as we touched down. Passengers watched it wiz by. I was cheering the lime on. I could tell it was going to make it to first class. The lime picked up speed as it made it’s way down the aisle. Amazingly, it made it all the way to the cockpit door. Surprisingly, it hit the bottom panel of the cockpit door and popped the panel out. Remember, this was before 9-11. The cockpit doors we not re-enforced like they are now. The pilots didn’t know how the panel got popped out. The pilots had to call a mechanic to fix the panel. Kelly told the mechanic she wasn’t sure what happened. She explain a lime got loose and flew down the aisle and knocked the door panel out. The pilots and mechanic didn’t bat an eye. It was a very logical explanation. We were lucky. The crew all swore we would never play this game ever again. We sure stopped with a winning lime toss, though.

My friend Tulio asked our crew one day if we would like to play a game. There was a weather delay and the agents were holding off boarding. Tulio asked us if we had ever played Ellen Degeneres’ game “Heads Up”. None of us had ever played the game. Tulio explained someone would hold his phone up to their head. Words would appear on the phone. We were to give clues so the person holding the phone could guess the word. If the person holding the phone against their forehead guessed the word, or wanted to pass on the word, they would tip the phone. A new word would appear. The person holding the phone had a minute to guess all the words. Simple enough. So we started to play the game. Because the game is an Ellen Degeneres game, a lot of the words have references to actors, TV shows and movies. Tulio is from Buenos Aires. He didn’t grow up with American TV. We doubled over laughing trying to give him clues. We were hooked. We played the game again after we got in the air and our beverage service was done. We were in the aft galley of the 757 having a great time. Tulio was standing in front of the lavatory when a passenger came out. They surprised each other. In true Tulio form, Tulio told the woman we were playing the game “Heads Up”. He immediately asked her if she would like to play. She did. She was extremely fast guessing the words based on Tulio’s clues. When it was her time to give Tulio the clues, she kept giving clues with references to American TV. We couldn’t stop laughing. We explained Tulio was from Buenos Aires….he didn’t understand the clues. She started to laugh, too. She played a few rounds of the game. As she was heading back to her seat, she looked at all of us. She said she finally knew what the crews do in the galleys after they finish their service. Of course, this made us laugh more. A few months later Tulio and I laughed about the passenger playing the game with us. At the time, Tulio and I were playing another game….”See how many winter coats and garment bags you can fit in the first-class coat closet”. I’m sure we fit in more than the FAA would have liked. But, we were having a great time laughing and playing the game. The trick to the game….if you should ever want to play is,….a little more hip action and a very strong arm push into the door. You’ll be amazed at all the items you’ll fit in ….and still be able to get closest door closed.

My friend Brian and I were flying a three-day trip together. There were three of us on our crew. We had never flown with our Skyter-in charge before. Our Skyter-in charge was born to fly international trips. Unfortunately, this day, he was flying a domestic trip with Brian and me. Now most Skyters and Skytresses stay pretty close to the written, recommended PA’s. There may be a slight variation in the PA’s based on when you were hired. The newer the crew member…the more they stick to the newly published PA’s. Usually the crew is cognizant of what is being said, but, rarely do we listen too closely to the PA’s. However, every once in awhile, something comes over the PA that makes you stop, listen, and give your fellow crew member a wide-eye look of, “What did they say?” As Brian and I were heading up the aisle, our Skyter-in charge was babbling along. Our domestic flight was barely full. However, our Skyter- in charge was treating it like a full flight to Paris. He told the passengers, “your crew is fluent in German, French and English”. However, the way he said it, sounded more to us like, “Brian and Eileen can only speak English. I, on the other hand, have taken time to educate myself in several languages. So if you do not understand the domestic flight attendants, please call upon me.” His over-kill PA sounded so absurd that Brian and I broke out in laughter. After the service, our Skyter- in charge came back to talk to us. He only humored us more. During our conversation he told us he wasn’t going to marry an American gal. He wanted to marry an international woman. He went on to explain that unlike American women…… international women are more worldly and usually are fluent in several languages. Brian and I laughed about this….of course, after he walked away. He was quite the interesting fellow….in a very odd way. Then as we were all settled in to land,….over the PA we heard a very garbled, unexpected,….”Flight Attendants,….landing gear down. Two minutes to landing.” This is not normal protocol. Brian quickly looked back at me on my jumpseat. He was as confused as I was. “What about the landing gear?”. Our Skyter seemed pretty calm about it. I listened and waited for something to happen. Fortunately, we landed with no incident. When we got to the gate, Brian and I finally pieced together what he had said. The rest of the trip whenever the landing gear came down, the Skyter would say, “Flight Attendants..landing gear down. Two minutes to landing.” It was so darn peculiar to hear…it became quite funny to us. Brian and I would say it to each other numerous times throughout our flights. We cracked up each time we said it. To this day, when Brian and I see each other, we say, “Flight attendants….landing gear down. Two minutes to landing.” It’s now one of our special sayings. And yes, in case you are wondering, ….when the landing gear does come down,….it is about two minutes until you land. Of course, Brian and I had to time it.

Okay. Here’s a quick PA story for you. We were about to land in Kansas City. Our pilots gave the double- ding, indicating our final descent. Our Skytress-in charge picked up the phone to make the final descent PA. Once I heard the double- ding, I started to hand out the first-class coats. As I was handing the gentleman on the aisle his coat, over the PA I heard…..”We will be landing in Kansas Sh*tty momentarily.” I, of course, started to giggle. I looked at the gentleman and asked him, “Did she just say what I think she said?” He laughed, and said “yes. Then he smiled and said, “Some days it REALLY is.”

One of my favorite times on the airplane is when we are about to push back from the gate. The plane is relatively quiet. Passengers have finally settled into their seats. Usually, they are waiting for the safety demo to finish so they can watch their movies, play their games, or take a nap. However, before the safety demonstration starts, the Skytress or Skyter- in charge will welcome the passengers aboard our flight. One particular day our Skyter-in charge did just this…with a twist. Our Skyter-in charge welcomed everyone aboard our flight. Flight 2319. He then went rogue with his PA. He asked the passengers what movie 2319 was in. He got more specific….Code 2319. There was a pause. He raised the stakes. He said if anyone knew the answer he would give them a free cocktail. Everyone was looking around to see if someone knew the answer. I was looking around, too. My movie trivia knowledge is scant to say the least. I wanted to know the answer. Unfortunately, no one knew Code 2319. So after a long pause, and a wee bit of questioning on all our part….the Skyter told us the answer. He happily said 2319 is the contamination code in Monsters, Inc. It is when the white sock gets stuck on George the Monster. We all laughed. I had watched Monsters, Inc. years before. Sadly, I didn’t remember Code 2319. Later I told my Skyter- in charge this. My Skyter said he had a knack for remembering odd details about a lot of things…especially in movies. I may not have been aware of Code 2319 in Monsters, Inc. before, … but, now I can’t wait for it in the movie. I laugh when I see it. I think of flight 2319. Without a doubt, I smile and think of my Skyter-in charge, too.

In the summer we make a PA announcement for the passengers to lower their window shades after we have landed. Having the shades lowered keeps the airplane cool while passengers deplane. It also keeps the plane cool for the next set of passengers that are going to board. One summer day I was flying with one of my favorite Skyters, Skip. Skip was our Skyter- in charge. As we were taxing to the gate, I could tell Skip was about to make the window shade PA. However, I wasn’t prepared for the funny PA he made. Skip said our airline,…unlike our competitors,….always has full flights. He teasingly said we don’t like to rub it in to the other airlines though. So, in order to keep the other airlines from feeling bad, he asked the passengers to lower their window shades. This way, ….as we pass the competitors less-full airplanes,…they won’t feel so sad. I loved this PA. I told Skip I wanted to incorporate this into my warm weather PA. I realized though, I would never be able to pull it off like he did. It was definitely a -one -of-a-kind, Skip PA

My favorite PA blunder is s story my friend David told me when we were flying one day in Cincinnati. He said he was the Skyter-in charge. It was an early morning flight. During the boarding process, the Skytress from the back came up to first class. She said she came up for some clean air. Someone in the back was using the lavatory and it wasn’t too pleasant back there. After a few minutes she decided she better go back to the aft cabin. Several minutes later the boarding process was completed. David said the gate agent then came down and used the phone to make a PA to page for a passenger. The passenger was being up-graded to first class. No sooner had the agent paged for the passenger, the Skytress in the back of the plane called David up front. She wanted to let David know this was the man that had been using the lavatory earlier. David picked up the phone as soon as he heard the call chime. The Skytress in the back of the plane could see David pick up the phone. Before David could say hello, the Skytress said to David, “Poopie Man coming up the aisle. Poopie Man coming up the aisle”. David said she kept saying it. Now any Skytress or Skyter that has ever flown on the MD-88, knows the phone didn’t always recycle after a PA was made. Sometimes the PA button would get stuck after the phone had been hung up. In order to get the PA unstuck, the phone needed to be hung back up again to recycle it. Unfortunately, the Skytress in the back didn’t realize the PA button was stuck when she called David. Everyone on the plane heard “Poopie Man coming up the aisle”, ..repeatedly. David said the passengers in first class that never listen to PA’s lowered their newspapers and looked for the man coming up the aisle. David was standing next to the cockpit. He said the pilots turned around in the cockpit to look down the aisle. The Captain laughed and asked David in disbelief, “What IS she saying?” David prayed she would stop. She didn’t. “Poopie man coming up the aisle.” kept coming over the PA. David said the man was looking him straight in the eye. The only thing in David’s favor was the voice coming over the PA was female. Eventually, the Skytress realized she was coming over the PA. She got extremely embarrassed. She was so embarrassed she wouldn’t step foot in first class the rest of the flight. David said she didn’t step foot in first class the rest of the day. Now I learned a long time ago from our pilots never to say anything about the pilots on the airplane phone to another crew member. The pilots usually have a hot mic in case of an emergency. With an open line they know immediately what is going on in the back of the plane. Needless to say, I learned from this PA incident, … if you want to say something on the phone you definitely don’t want the passengers to hear….make sure the PA button is not stuck.

J & J. No, it’s not Johnson & Johnson. Although, I do love their products. Especially, their dental floss. I love their dental floss! No, J & J are my nieces….Jill and Jamie. They are Irish twins. For one week in July they are the same age. I guess, then, it should be…J & J & J. Jill, Jamie and July. Jill…or Jillian is the older of the two. Jill is the sweetest person around. If she has to share her age with Jamie for a few days, I know it is fine with her. The Irish twins also have a younger sister, Megan. Megan will get her own post in February. I’m sure she will prefer this much more.

On Sunday, Jill got her own age back. She turned 23. Jill will be graduating from Southern Illinois University- Edwardsville in May. She will graduate with degrees in Music Education and English Education. Jill plays the violin…and the piano. Although, she readily admits her sister Jamie is the piano player in the family. Jill has been coming over to our house to practice her violin since the pandemic. We love when she comes over to play her violin. My brother Brian and our dog Finley love to go downstairs and listen to her play. It’s been one of their highlights of the quarantine.

Jamie will graduate from Missouri State in May. Hopefully, not on the same day as Jill. Jamie is majoring in Electronic Arts and Video Studies. She is going to be the next Steven Spielberg or Nora Ephron. Her creativity boggles my mind. Jamie has been making videos since she was young. One day we were coming home from the Irish store. Jamie asked if we could stop at their house on the way over to our house. She wanted to get some supplies to make a movie. Within hours, she and her sisters had a movie made. And it was great. It was a parody of Frozen’s, “Do You Want To Build A Snowman?” Her’s was, “Do You Want to Hide a Body?” It was an extremely funny and very well produced video. I was flabbergasted by what she was producing at such a young age. Her creativity has only exploded in college. I can’t wait to hear about her senior project. Right now it is hush-hush. As soon as she is allowed to tell us, it will certainly become my favorite Skytress jumpseat topic.

There is a picture of Jill and Jamie when they were little on the shelf in our family room. I took it one day when they went off to dance class. It makes me smile every time I look at it. When my sister said they wanted to take dance I almost fell over. Our family is filled with two-left feet people. I was in awe of them at their recitals. When I was their age, I believe I was still holding on to my Mom’s leg. If I could have held on to my Mom’s leg in first grade when I had to dance the Mexican Hat dance with Mark Callahan, I would have done it. But, Jill and Jamie shine in the spotlight. And I am not just saying that because I am their biased Aunt. I’ve seen how happy they are performing for others throughout their lives. In high school Jamie was on the flag team…. even though she had planned to play the drums in the marching band. In fact, she actually did play the drums in the marching band…. one time. Being a very smart girl, Jamie realized very quickly, flags were a lot easier to carry around the football field than drums. Plus, she loved putting on her performance makeup to dance around the field. Anyone who knows Jamie….knows Jamie is a makeup connoisseur. Jill has always played her violin in both high school and college symphonies. She amazes me how she flutters about talking to her family and friends moments before her performances….then sits down and plays complicated symphonic pieces effortlessly. As a music major, Jill had to learn to play all symphonic instruments. Most college kids come home with laundry at the holiday breaks. Jill came home with so many instruments once, she barely had room in her car to bring her dirty laundry home. Her sisters loved trying to play all the different instruments. Their dog Charlie was not a fan….especially of the horn instruments.

Jill is also a huge reader. Since she was a little girl, Jill has carried a book around with her. I sometimes tease her about this. But, mostly I am impressed. For many years it was the Harry Potter books. She has read them all several times. Jill is the only person I know that can read a book several times…and enjoy it as much as the first time she read it. I know without a doubt, Jill’s students won’t be able to get away with Cliff Notes. She knows books inside and out. I chuckle at the thought of one of her students trying to get away without reading the entire book. Sweetly, Jill still checks books out at the library. She reminds me of Ron in this aspect. He loved going to the library to check out books. He was also an avid reader. Unlike Jill, he was not an avid writer. Once when Jill was in elementary school she had papers scattered about on the floor. My sister was going to clean them up. Jill told my sister not to throw the papers away. She was writing a sequel to one of her favorite books. Never in my life had I ever thought of doing this. I remember thinking then,….this was a brilliant idea. YOU get to decide what happens next to your favorite characters!

The Irish twins also sing in the choir at the Saturday family Mass. Well, at least they did until COVID-19 arrived. This is another trait that stupefies me. I like to sing. I’m horrible at it, though. The thought of singing in front of others terrifies me. I always tell people…. the performers need people to applaud the singers. I am the applauder in life. Well, at Mass I give the approving smile…applauding during Mass would be odd. I am odd…just not that odd. The girls Catholic religion is very important to them. In high school Jamie would read the Liturgy of the Word at Mass. Every once in awhile before Mass, she would check the pronunciation of some of the cities in the scriptures. There are some doozies in there. During Mass, I would hold my breath for her as she came to the difficult word. Each time she spoke with such conviction, that even if she said it wrong, no one would have ever questioned her. Many Saturdays, Jill was behind Jamie on the Alter, as the Alter girl. Jill had no formal training as an Alter girl. Father Benedict needed someone one to fill in one day….Jill agreed to do it. Father helped her through the Mass. Jill was a quick learner. Eventually Jill became Father’s Benedict’s go-to gal. She even mentored the younger kids so Father Benedict would have enough Alter people to serve at Mass when she went off to college.

When I sold my house in Cincinnati and moved back home to help take care of my Dad, I was blessed to be able to help take care of my nieces, too. When my sister had to see patients, the girls would hang out at our house. I cherish the memories of them doing their homework at the dining room table. There was always an abundance of laughter. I delightedly helped teach them fractions through baking. I still covet my recipe book Jill gave me when she was in elementary school. She chose to put the recipe of the Mississippi Mud Cake we make for her birthday in there. We make it every year. This year Jill wanted to make a cookie cake. So we did! Jamie made her own birthday cake this year, as she quarantined at school. She used her cake pans I gave her. She said she worked hard at mixing the batter. Her sister Megan talked her out of bringing my electric mixer with her to school. Little did Megan, or any of us know, the virus would hit and we would all be quarantining and needing to bake comfort food. Jamie, of course, had sparkle candles on her cake. We wouldn’t have expected anything less. Jamie is also a sparkle loving girl.

The Irish twins, including their sister Megan, have filled our lives with sweetness, laughter and so much love. They will humor me by coming to the Farmer’s Market or running to a store with me. We always make an extra stop for something fun along the way. Favorite Aunts do these things. Or so I tell them. The girls gave me extra love when I needed it when my Dad and Ron died. They are the best at mending broken hearts. They gave me the best part of their hearts until mine could function again. The Irish twins are always cheering each other on in life. They unselfishly cheer on everyone they meet in life. It’s their special gift. Not surprisingly, they don’t even know the special power of their friendship and kindness. Individually Jill and Jamie are extraordinary. Together they are a mighty duo of sisterness. J&J are the Irish twins who are changing the world for the better. And I can’t wait until next year when they are the same age once again….Aunts like these quirky things in life. Well, at least this Aunt, who dearly loves her nieces.

Last Monday over 17,000 employees at my airline took either an early retirement package or an opt out package. Many of those employees were Skytresses and Skyters. A few were my dear friends. Who would have known in February when we were the first company in history to break all records for profit sharing, that in a matter of weeks our company would be offering packages to save the airline? In February we were going to hire several thousand more people. In July our company needed thousands to retire so they won’t have to furlough anyone. I read the Facebook posts from fellow employees. I talked and texted with friends as they made this hard decision. I know it has been an emotional, uncertain time for everyone. Seeing one person retire is hard. Seeing fellow co-workers leave en masse is something my heart and head were not prepared for. I know I am not alone feeling this way.

I read many Facebook posts on our retirement decision page from fellow Skytresses and Skyters that I never met. I didn’t need to know their names. They all are part of my airline family. There is a special, unspoken bond between us all. I laughed and I cried as I read each post. I felt their heart ache, anxiety and sadness as they said their goodbyes. I felt their excitement and giddy anticipations for a new journey in life. These feelings were multiplied exponentially for my friends that I do know. I have amazing memories of flying together with my friends. Even greater memories of layovers. Conversations that filled my soul. Laughter that echoes in my head. Even though I could go months, even years, not seeing my friends, I always knew they were out there and it was a pretty good bet our paths would eventually cross. This thought always gave me comfort. Now the reality of their retirement makes me sad because I know I won’t see them in the crew lounge, on a layover or simply passing in the airport….wishing each other a safe flight. But, I am cheering them on as they pursue new adventures. I know they will do amazing things, for they are amazing people.

I also have learned these past few weeks that I need to take more pictures on my flights and layovers. I’ve loved seeing the numerous pictures fellow Skyters and Skytresses have posted on-line. Funny, I used to be great about taking pictures when I carried a regular old camera around. I used to love developing pictures in our darkroom downstairs. Now that I have a camera basically attached to my hands at all times, I rarely take pictures. These past few weeks I have seen incredible career photos from retiring Skytresses and Skyters. Sadly, I have lost many crew and layover pictures on phones that had “issues” and weren’t retrievable. After seeing other pictures that have been shared by my fellow co-workers, I once again wish I had my lost photos. Especially my Alaska pictures. Fortunately, the memories are still very vivid in my mind. I also regret not taking more pictures when Ron and I flew together. We flew together so many times. But, we never took pictures. It was just something we didn’t think about. Silly, I know. We were living in the moment. I’ve done a lot of “living in the moment” throughout my flying career and life. I’m going to try to be better at capturing at least one moment now and then. I promise I won’t post them all when I retire like some of other Skytresses and Skyters have done lately. Although, I admit, I have happily scrolled through 70 plus photos some have posted. So, I may rethink this when my time comes to retire.

I know some of our airline friends have retired because our international flying will be very limited for the next few years due to the pandemic. Our executives have stated we will go back to the number of international flights we had in the early 1990’s. The thought of going back to this type of flying does not appeal to many. Flying internationally never appealed to me. It still doesn’t. I LOVED flying in the 1990’s! I knew my chances of being scheduled to fly across the pond in the 90’s was very minimal. The senior Skytresses and Skyters saw to that. Many airline friends have decided to retire because they have no desire to go back to flying domestic trips. I’m a domestic diva. I love flying to all the wonderful cities in the U.S. When I flew internationally I always was counting the minutes until the plane touched down on American soil. Yes, I still venture out to the islands and to Canada. But, I prefer Charlotte and Chicago. I even had some anxiety when I spent a month flying Alaska trips. I was in the U.S. But, I still had to go through Canada to get home. I knew however, if need be,…I could drive through Canada to get home. This is a prevailing thought of mine since 9-11. I’ve flown with Skytresses and Skyters that have seen countless international cities. But, they have never seen Mount Rushmore, Old Faithful, or the Grand Tetons. I read comments from international Skytresses and Skyters that they didn’t want to fly to Tulsa. Heck, I have wonderful memories of Tulsa. My crew and I won so many prizes at a restaurant one night…it started to get embarrassing. But, the laughter and camaraderie was unforgettable. I know I am a contrarian when it comes to international flying, considering I am in the airline industry. I remember years ago I was looking for property for a vacation home. One of our pilots suggested I should rethink that idea. He said I’d feel obligated to go to my vacation home instead of traveling the world while on vacation. At the time I thought he made a valid point. Then I realized he loved to travel the world. I, on the other hand, love to travel to one place I truly love.

I’ve also learned these past few weeks I need to start thinking more about my retirement and exit plan. Ron had a five year plan. I kidded him I hoped to have a plan in five years. Yes, I’ve been saving and making financial contributions towards my retirement for years. But, I’ve learned I need to decide where I want to plant myself when I retire. I need to consider hobbies and activities that will make me feel joyful and fulfilled. My dear friends that are retiring have given me an abundance of hope for an excellent life away from flying. They have been dear friends throughout my career. I know they will be my dear mentors for my life after flying. Yes, it will be a smaller airline come September 1st when I head back to fly. I will go off to fly and see who among us is still here. I will embrace the challenge to bring our industry back to profitability. Then when I feel in my heart, like so many felt in their hearts these past few weeks,….that it is time…..I will submit my retirement papers. And I know without a doubt, my fellow retired Skytress and Skyter friends will be as happy and excited for me, as I am for them as they soar off to their next life’s adventures.

One morning my crew and I were going through the security check point in Louisville. This was before they had the Known Crew Member security check point. So, we were in the regular security line with the passengers. Our pilots made it through security before us. As is customary for our pilots, they waited for us on the other side of security. My fellow Skytresses and I had a momentary delay getting to security. We were slowed down as we debated whether we should get our Starbucks before or after we went through security. I’m sure you are dying to know how that debate ended. In true Skytress form,….we decided we didn’t really want Starbucks after all. So, we continued on to the security line. There was a family of four ahead of us in the security line. Immediately we could tell they were not frequent fliers. The family of four had enough luggage for twelve. They didn’t have their liquids out of their luggage. And they didn’t know they had to take their shoes off to go through the metal detector. The two children in the family were small. But, they were old enough to walk through the metal detector by themselves. Of course, the youngest child went through first. The metal detector beeped…and the child kept running as the Dad yelled for him to come back. After several attempts the father and two children finally made it through security. As I watched this debacle, I silently hoped this family wouldn’t be on our flight. I stood behind the mother as she finally got her stroller broken down and placed on the security belt. She proceeded to walk through the metal detector. The detector beeped. The TSA agent told the woman to go through again. She did. Again the detector beeped. A third attempt. Beep. The TSA agent then asked the woman if she had a phone on her body that was making the detector go off. The woman stopped and thought for a moment. Then she reached into her shirt and bra. I thought, well that’s a different place to put your phone. But, I guess she always knows where it is. No sooner had I thought this, the woman pulled out a tin of Skoal tobacco! I was NOT expecting this. It was a first for me. It humored me beyond words. The woman proudly held up her tin of tobacco so the TSA agent could see what was making the metal detector go off. The TSA agent did not bat an eye. Obviously, she has seen it all. My crew and I stifled our giggles. I was now fascinated by this woman and her family. I hoped they WERE on our flight. When we finally got through security the pilots were curious about what had taken place. When I told them about the tin of tobacco in the bra, they couldn’t help but laugh. Sadly, as we headed to our gate, the family headed towards another airline. These days when I go through Louisville’s security I think of this woman. Without fail, I always tell my crew about the day the lady pulled a tin of Skoal tobacco from her bra. It was the best!

Years ago when I was a relatively new Skytress I was flying on the Boeing 727. We were on the Boeing 727 with the aft galley on the first officer’s side of the plane. I called it the jinx plane. I was relatively new, but, I had been on this model of the 727 enough to know every time I was on it…..something odd happened. I was bracing myself for the jinx factor. I didn’t have to wait too long for it to kick in. I had finished setting up the aft galley and I was going through the cabin to close bins and make sure luggage was properly stowed. Sure enough….. I got to a row with a passenger holding her baby on her lap. The baby was laying in it’s baby carrier. I stopped. I could tell the passengers sitting beside and behind the woman were anticipating my arrival. They all knew the mother couldn’t hold her baby like this on the flight. However, no one wanted to tell her…..after all, that is what the Skytress is for. I calmly explained to the mother we had a full flight. I told her we didn’t have an open seat for her to strap the baby carrier next to her in a seat. Thus, for the safety of the baby, she would have to take her baby out of the carrier and hold the baby for the duration of the flight. I told her I would put the carrier in the overhead bin for her. To which the mother said, “You want me to put my baby in the overhead bin?” Her response caught me off guard. I looked at the passengers sitting in the row behind the woman so I wouldn’t start to giggle. However, the three passengers in the row were already laughing. They gave me a sympathetic look. The passengers sitting on the side of the woman gave the “Oh my goodness” look. I repeated to the mother that she would hold the baby and I would only put the carrier in the overhead bin. Her response was, “You want to put my baby in the overhead bin?” The man siting next to her looked out the window. The woman next to her looked awkwardly at her magazine. I looked at the row behind the mother. They were no longer laughing. They all had a look of disbelief. And a look of ” you sure are in a pickle now young lady”. I didn’t know how I could make this more simple for the mother to understand. The darn jinx plane was winning. With all eyes upon me, I had a moment of clarity. I asked the mother to take her baby out of the carrier. When she finally pulled the baby out of the carrier, I gently removed the carrier from the mother’s lap. I placed it in the overhead bin. The passengers sitting beside the mother and behind the mother had a collective sigh of relief. I was also relieved. I walked away happy and satisfied. I was satisfied with the way I solved the baby carrier issue. More importantly, I was happy because this was the only flight we had on the jinx plane for the rest of our trip.

I thought my baby carrier story was going to be hard to beat. But, I was completely wrong. A pilot friend of mine told me a story that definitely one upped mine. He told me it happened at his previous airline. Chris explained he was on his flight going home. He had booked the pilot jumpseat. However, the agent told him there was a row in the back of the plane that he could sit in instead. Chris said he sat down in the row and watched the other passengers board the plane. He said he watched one couple come on the plane carrying a baby. Astonishingly, the couple put their baby in the overhead bin and closed the bin. Chris couldn’t believe what he had just witnessed. So much so, that he questioned if he had really observed the couple put their baby in the overhead bin. He could see the couple sitting in their row. They didn’t have the baby with them. Unfortunately, many more passengers were boarding and walking down the aisle. Chris decided the best thing to do was to ring his Skytress call button. He said an older crotchety Skytress came from the back of the plane to his row. He described the couple to the Skytress and told her the couple had put their baby in the overhead bin. The Skytress was annoyed with Chris. She told him she didn’t have time for his shenanigans and she walked away. Chris was in a quandary. He now was almost positive the baby was in the overhead bin and he knew the Skytress didn’t believe him. He ultimately decided he needed to ring his call button again. So he did. The cantankerous Skytress came back to his row. Before he could say anything the Skytress spoke. She told him she knew he was a jumpseating pilot. But, if he didn’t stop bothering her, she would have him removed from her flight. Chris told the Skytress he knew there was a baby in the overhead bin. He implored her to go check the bin. The Skytress stared him down for a minute. Then she turned on her heels and headed up the aisle. Chris had a momentary feeling he was wrong about the baby. He watched the Skytress stop at the row with the couple. She looked down at them and then opened up the overhead bin. She immediately spun her head and glared at the couple. Although Chris was sitting rows away, he could hear her scream at the couple. “Whatever would posses you to put your baby in the overhead bin?” She took the baby out of the bin and handed it to the couple. She walked back to Chris and said, “Can you believe that couple put that poor baby in the overhead bin?” Chris said he knew better than to answer her. But, he thought no,….he couldn’t believe it. But,….he sure was grateful he saw it. Me, too, His story definitely trumped my baby bin story.