I’m sure you all have heard about all the comings and going’s occurring on airplanes these days. I’ve never heard so much about duct tape and passengers in all my years of flying. I will tell you though, I used to travel with a roll of duct tape in my flight bag. I didn’t travel with it to tape unruly passengers to their seats. No. I used it on the MD-88 to tape latches closed that became unlatched during flight. I wouldn’t have even thought about duct tape if it hadn’t been for my Skyter friend David. One day I was flying with David and he took duct tape out of his flight bag. I laughed. Then the following week I could have used duct tape. I didn’t laugh. No. I went home and threw duct tape in my flight bag, too. See, I’ve told you crew members have everything in their bags. Just another reason to take a Skytress or Skyter with you on a deserted island. Unfortunately, passenger have been misbehaving for as long as I have been flying. So, we know this has been a loooonnnggg time!!!! It’s just these days people have their cell phones at the ready to record it all. Not all passenger misconducts get recorded and shared on social media. Thank goodness for this. Most passenger misconducts are just talked about amongst the crews. Of course, we Skytresses and Skyters fill out safety reports so they are officially noted. Not one of my reports has included the statement of duct taping a passenger to a seat. That’s not acceptable or safe. But, it is kind of funny. Since my passenger misconducts haven’t made it to the media, I’ll share a few of them with you on my blog. You’re welcome.
Where shall I begin? Remember the days when Skytresses and Skyters used to be the cell phone police? Yessiree. Those were the good old days. Now, we have a new badge to wear. We are officially the mask police. We have been blessed by the FAA to enforce the federal mandate. Needless to say, I’ve flown with many mask-enforcing bad cops. These are the Skytresses and Skyter who’s sole objective on the trip is to seek out all the ill- wearing masked passengers. These power hungry mask cops can turn a decent flight into a scene from “ A Few Good Men” where someone is about to scream…”You can’t handle the truth” about the federal mandate. Luckily for me, I fly with a lot of good face mask-enforcing cops. These Skytresses and Skyters kindly remind the passengers to wear their masks properly. Let’s be honest. It isn’t always easy to be the good cop. Passengers try to circumnavigate the mask policy as best they can. Fortunately, Skytresses and Skyters have eagle eyes. We can spot a noncompliant mask wearer a hundred yards away. Yes. There are a few rare occasions when we miss a mask violation. Fortunately, there are enough self-deputized passenger policing the mask mandate on our flights. We call them the tattletalers. They are too afraid to address the noncompliant mask wearers themselves. But, they most certainly have no problem pointing them out to us.
Remember…..Good cops shouldn’t be confused with naive cops. I have had numerous passenger board the airplane actively eating and drinking. Yessiree. They actively eat and drink for the entire flight and continue to do so while deplaning. These are the loophole lovers. They are very aware they don’t have to wear their masks while active eating and drinking. They don’t fool us. We are well aware of what they are doing. As I said…we are the good cops…not the naive cops. As the saying goes….”pick your battles”. Especially, if you don’t want to end up on the evening news. We had one passenger on our flight from Phoenix to Atlanta that we knew was going to push the mask issue. She didn’t have it on when she boarded. We had to kindly remind her several times to place the mask over her nose and mouth. This passenger was also….how shall I say it kindly?…Well, she was an odd bird with a smattering of crazy swirling through her body. She would talk loudly. She would ask peculiar questions of the crew. She had a severe case of FOMO. Fear of missing out. She seemed to think we were going to forget her while we were conducting our beverage service. Thus, she would shout out her order to us long before we got to her row. I don’t know who rolled their eyes more. Us or the passengers around her. Fortunately for everyone, she finally fell asleep somewhere over Texas. Yessiree. She fell asleep… with her face mask covering her eyes like an eye mask. We all knew she did this on purpose. However, we all….including the passengers…decided not to poke the sleeping bear. Everyone was so grateful for the peace and quiet. We did remind her to put her eye mask…uh, face mask…back over her nose and mouth on our final walk through. After all, even we good cops enforce the rules.
A couple weeks ago I flew on our Airbus-330. This aircraft is mostly used for international flights. Since we have scaled back our international flying, the Airbus-330 is on domestic routes to help keep our pilots current with their flying qualifications. Anyone who knows me, knows I don’t fly on the dark side. The dark side being international flying. So, flying on the Airbus-330 was a first for me. It was also a first for my Skytress friend Michelle. We weren’t sure what to expect flying on the 330. We expected there to be a few odd ball passengers. After all, we were flying into and out of Phoenix. You can reread the last paragraph to refresh your memory of an odd ball Phoenix passenger. We were also sure we would have an odd ball Detroit Skytress of Skyter flying with us. There is always a 50-50 chance on this happening. Yes. There are a few interesting stories here. I’ll save these stories for another day. For now, I’ll only say…Egads! Still there was one thing we didn’t count on. Yessiree. We didn’t expect our Skyter In-Charge to come back and inform us a passenger tried to deplane while we were in flight. Yep. A woman passenger came to the boarding door with her purse and luggage. She was all prepared to get off the airplane. Our Skyter informed her we were an hour from landing in Phoenix. Plus, we were 35,000 feet in the air. Deplaning was not an option. Unbeknownst to us, the woman consumed a few drinks before she boarded the airplane. She ordered a few more cocktails in flight. More specifically, she constantly rang her call button demanding more drinks. Of course, we had stopped serving her when the Skytress that originally served her noticed her slurring her speech. This passenger, though, tried her hardest to get more drinks during the flight. Heck. We had a crew of six. She figured one of us six would bring her more cocktails. She figured wrong. Eventually, she fell asleep on her tray table. It was after her nap that she decided she would deplane. Fortunately for us, she took another nap after she was denied deplaning mid-flight. Sadly, this was only one of several reports written up this day. I’ve avoided flying into and out of Phoenix since this trip.
One evening while I was flying as the Skytress In-Charge, a passenger rang their call button. I went to the row to inquire what the passenger needed. I was not prepared for their response. The passenger handed me a shoe. She wanted me to return the shoe to it’s rightful owner. The passenger explained the shoe had hit her in the back of her head. So she wasn’t certain of who the shoe belonged to. I took the shoe and held it up. I addressed the passengers sitting in the area. I, quizzically asked who the shoe belonged to. Another passenger pointed her finger to a few rows back. As I looked in the direction, I immediately knew who the shoe belonged to. A woman passenger was slouched in her seat with her legs dangling over the passenger seat in front of her. She was only wearing one shoe. I walked back to the row. I stood in the aisle holding the the rouge shoe. I told the woman her shoe had hit another passenger in the head. In her slurred speech she told me her shoe was bothering her so she kicked it off her foot. Then, without hesitating, she proceeded to ask me for another glass of wine. I told the woman I would be more than happy to get her a nonalcoholic beverage. However, we were not going to serve her anymore alcohol on the flight. She was greatly disappointed. She became more disappointed when I told her she needed to take her feet down that were dangling over the passenger seat in front of her. Then I added she needed to sit up in her seat. She begrudgingly sat up for a moment. She looked blearily at me. Then as if sitting up was an impossible task for her, she put her tray table down and fell asleep on it. I found out from my crew a few minutes later they only served one glass of wine to the passenger. However, upon further inquiry, I found out from the other passengers the woman had been drinking in the airport prior to boarding our flight. If there is one thing I have learned in my career, it is this…..Many passengers can act normal during the boarding process after drinking in the airport bars and restaurants. Unfortunately, it’s at 35,000 feet after being served another adult beverage we find out their tolerance has reached it’s limit. Then we have to deal with their misconducts and document everything up in reports. I’m not sure what Skytresss and Skyters loath most. Misbehaving passengers or documenting everything in reports. Personally, it’s a tie for me.
It’s the Skytresses and Skyters responsibility these days to call our pilots in flight to inquire if they need anything or require a restroom break. However, prior to 9-11, we used to freely enter the cockpit whenever we finished our service to check on the pilots and to chitchat a wee bit. One day I was in the cockpit chatting with the pilots. There was a knock at the cockpit door. I looked out the peephole and I saw a passenger standing outside the door. So, I left the cockpit to see what the passenger needed. The woman wanted to know if she could go into the cockpit to take a look inside. I explained to the woman passengers weren’t permitted in the cockpit during flight. However, I told her after we landed and she was deplaning the pilots would be more than happy to show her the cockpit. The woman paused for a few seconds. I anticipated another question. However, I didn’t anticipate what happened next. The woman asked me if I knew who would be meeting her in Atlanta. She knew she was going to be met by someone. Since it was pre 9-11 I told the woman I assumed the person meeting her would be waiting for her in the gatehouse when we arrived. She said she didn’t understand why someone would be meeting her in the first place. She only had one driving ticket in her life. She didn’t think this warranted being met by someone. She further explained that her children had been taken from her because of the speeding ticket. This is when I knew this woman had a few issues. Our conversation was quite bizarre to say the least. However, she kept returning to her request to visit the pilots in the cockpit. I kept telling her it wasn’t allowed. I could tell the woman had no intentions of returning to her seat. She just stood there staring at me. Not saying a word. I chuckled inside at the absurdity of the situation. Then in my sweetest, authoritative, Skytress voice, I told the woman she needed to return to her seat. She begrudgingly turned around and walked back to the main cabin. I waited a few minutes to ensure the woman was not coming back to the cockpit door. Then I turned on my heels and went back into the cockpit. I know they, just like me, were curious why a passenger would be knocking on the cockpit door in the first place. I barely had the story out when there was another knock at the cockpit door. We all looked at each other. We all had a sinking feeling it wasn’t going to be good. I looked out the peephole. I anticipated seeing the woman standing outside the cockpit door eagerly waiting to come inside to visit. However, the woman wasn’t standing outside the cockpit door. No. From the peephole I could see a Skytress standing outside the door. A Skytress that was not on my crew. I told the pilots about the Skytress. I said I’d fill them in as soon as I knew what was going on. When I left the cockpit the Skytress told me I needed to do something with the woman sitting in her row. The woman was staring at the other woman in the row and saying horrible things to her. I had a funny feeling I knew who the woman hurling the insults was. So, it didn’t shock me when I discovered it was the woman that wanted to see the cockpit. I asked the woman if there was a reason she was disturbing the other passenger. She calmly told me she didn’t like her. I explained to the woman she couldn’t be mean to to our passengers. The woman didn’t reply. She sat there glaring at the lady sitting next to her. I don’t know who was feeling more uncomfortable….me or the woman being stared at. I was no longer chuckling inside. Instead, I was feverishly trying to figure out how I was going to handle this situation. I saw a young man sitting in a row by himself. Oh, how I hated to ruin his flight. But, desperate times called for desperate measures. I told the insult hurling woman I was going to move her to another row to keep the peace. Fortunately, the woman didn’t have an issue with the young man. He was smart. He immediately closed his eyes and pretended to fall asleep. Well, played young man. I walked up and down the aisle numerous times to make sure the woman was behaving. Thank goodness she was. I walked through the cabin one more time before the landing gear came down. The young man’s eyes were wide open. The woman was talking to him. I heard the woman say to the young man that someone was going to meet her at the gate. She was explaining how her children had been taken from her. Of course, she didn’t understand why….because all she ever had was one speeding ticket in her life. I felt, as Ron would say,….awful, awful, awful. I knew the young man was perfectly content sitting alone before I moved the woman back to his row. I pointed the woman out to the Captain as she was walking up the aisle to deplane. The Captain was well informed about the passenger. He and I stood next to each other prepared for anything. Shockingly, the woman just smiled at both of us and thanked us for a wonderful flight. There was no mention of seeing the cockpit. Not a word about her children or a speeding ticket. She didn’t even mention that someone was meeting her in the gatehouse. We were both relieved. As the woman stepped into the jetway, the Captain asked me if I thought someone was really meeting the woman at the gate. I turned to him and said, “Gosh. I sure hope so.”
One day in Cincinnati we were boarding our flight to Cleveland. I was the Skytress In-Charge. Thus, I was standing at the boarding door greeting our passengers. One of my Skytresses in the back of the plane came to the boarding door and told me she was going to step in the jetway to call the gate agent. She told me she wanted to get a new seat assignment for an older woman passenger. The Skytress didn’t want the passenger to have to sit next to the man that yelled at her and made her cry. As I was trying to absorb what she had just told me, the Skytress walked out into the jetway. Without further hesitation, I headed towards the back of the plane to see what was going on. I saw a gentleman standing in the aisle grumbling at the passengers seated around him. I knew immediately he was the bully that had made the woman cry. I didn’t tell him this though. Bullies don’t like to admit they are bullies. Plus, I wanted to de-escalate the precarious situation. So, I simply asked everyone if there was a problem I needed to know about. The bully promptly told me the two rows of passengers were the problem. The passengers told me otherwise. They explained the man became incensed when he went to put his luggage in “his” overhead bin and discovered the bin was already full of luggage. He took it upon himself to take out the other passengers luggage to make room for his bags. The passenger explained they tried to tell bully the bin over his seat wasn’t designated to be “his” bin only. Apparently, the bully didn’t want to hear this explanation and he became infuriated. The other passengers told me the woman sitting in his row sweetly tried to calm the bully down by telling him he shouldn’t get so upset about his luggage. The bully then directed his anger towards the woman. He upset her so much she started to cry. The passengers explained upon hearing the commotion, the Skytress walked to the back of the plane. The Skytress saw the elderly woman crying. This is when she headed to the jetway to get the woman another seat assignment. The passengers told me the Skytress was adamant the sweet woman wasn’t going sit next to the bully. As I listened to the bully and the other passengers bicker back and forth, all I could think was how our flight to Cleveland was supposed to be a quick and easy flight. Now we had this bully throwing a wrench in our easy day. I wasn’t going to have it. No, this bully couldn’t bully me. I looked the man directly in the eyes and reiterated to him the flight to Cleveland was a quick 30 minutes. I asked him if he could guarantee I wasn’t going to have any issues with him on the short flight. His response was, “I won’t have an issue if they” …..meaning the other passengers….”didn’t cause him to have an issue”. Well, that was all I needed to hear. I told everyone I would be right back. I headed up the aisle to call the agent to have the bully removed from our flight. I didn’t stop to tell the pilots anything. I was positive the other Skytress had filled them in on the situation. I whispered to the Skytress, as I headed out to the jetway I was going to have the bully removed. As I stepped off the plane, I saw one of our red coat supervisors walking down the jetway. I started to say I wanted the passenger removed. However, before I could finish my sentence the redcoat supervisor said, “I’m removing the passenger. No one can make another passenger cry and then stay on the plane.” Oh, how I loved our Cincinnati gate supervisors and our agents. We all had each other’s backs. I knew I didn’t need to do anything more. The redcoat was going to handle everything. I merely walked behind him to see it all go down. The redcoat was as pleasant as he could be to the bully. He simply said, “Sir. Please get your bags and follow me.” I followed both of them up the aisle. I could tell the bully thought the redcoat was moving him to a better seat away from the other passengers. The closer we got to first class, the happier the bully became. When we got to first class I could tell the bully thought he had won the lottery. Then he became confused as the redcoat continued to walk out into the jetway. I, too, stepped out into the jetway. I stood right next to the redcoat in solidarity. This is when the redcoat informed the bully he would not be going to Cleveland on our flight. He asked the bully if he had checked any bags so they could also be removed from the flight. The bully pleaded with the redcoat. He promised not to cause an issue if he could still fly to Cleveland with us. He explained it was only a 30 minute flight. He wouldn’t say a word the entire flight. He actually “guaranteed” the redcoat he would behave. Hmmm. This sounded familiar. Especially since he was repeating my words I used with him just minutes prior. The redcoat looked the bully in the eye and told him no one gets to make another passenger cry and stay on the plane. The bully was unusually silent. The redcoat turn and asked the bully to follow him up the jetway. I’m not going to lie. The satisfaction of seeing the bully walk up the jetway felt marvelous. While we were handling the bully, the agent working the flight had moved the sweet elderly woman to first class. She was embarrassed he did this. I told her she shouldn’t be embarrassed. No. I was extremely happy she would be joining us in first class. Fortunately, there was a pilot sitting next to her. He was going home to Cleveland. He was privy to the whole bully situation. However, he never mentioned the bully or the circumstances of her now sitting in first class. Instead, he talked to the lovely lady about Cleveland. Their conversation took off from there. The agent couldn’t have sat the woman next to a better passenger. When we landed the pilot took the woman’s luggage down for her. He let her pass in front of him so she could have the honor of being the first passenger off the airplane. I told the sweet woman it was an extreme pleasure to have her on our flight. She smiled a beautiful smile. I looked at the pilot and said, “Thank you”. He knew I was thanking him for making the woman feel so welcomed on our flight and taking extra special care of her. He simply smiled and said, “No problem. You all have a great rest of your day”. And by golly we did.