It’s been a month of Sundays since I last published a blog post. Several months actually. For those of you who are wondering…Yessiree…I’m still a Skytress. I’m just a Skytress that is currently out on medical leave. Now you may be saying to yourself, “Self. I thought she came back from medical leave.” And you would be correct. I did fly a couple months after my foot surgery. I actually flew several trips with long layovers. In between, I went to Charlottesville for a much needed long weekend with my dear friend, Tara. Then in December I had surgery on my other foot. Now I’d completely understand if some of you thought I fell off the face of the Earth. Heck. There were a few days I wish I had fallen off the face of the Earth. Oblivion sounds like a very peaceful place. A place with no dirty dishes or laundry that needs to be clean. A place where one that is feeling discombobulated could recombobulate in a very short time. I’ll admit. My life has been a little discombobulated the past few months. Since I didn’t actually fall into oblivion, it’s taken me a wee bit longer to recombobulate myself. Heck. I’m not actually certain I am fully recombobulated. But, I am recombobulated enough to finally write a blog post. Best part is…I didn’t have to fly to Milwaukee for this to happen.
This last sentence may have you scratching your head. Milwaukee? Yes. Milwaukee. The Milwaukee airport has a “Recombobulation Area”. It’s located just past security. Here passengers can calmly put their shoes back on or reorganize themselves and their stuff after going through security. You can’t miss this place. There’s an official “Recombobulation Area” sign overhead. I’m convinced just seeing the sign instantly helps people recombobulate after the dreaded security scrutiny. The sign always makes me smile. The sign makes me think of Ron, too. He constantly joked he was discombobulated and needed to recombobulate. Each time he said this, I’d patiently wait a few minutes. Then I would cheekily ask him if he was finally combobulated. Without fail, he would grin and say yes. Yessiree. We were two peas in our witty little pod. Obviously, being in a state of combobulation is the ultimate goal in one’s life. Being in a state of discombobulation is not. I’ll admit. I was discombobulated before I started writing this blog post. I couldn’t remember what trips I flew and when I flew them. Thank goodness for our handy dandy crew flight app. My brain started to recombobulate as I flipped through each trip. I’ll admit. A good dose of guilt also surged through my body. I shamefully remembered I had planned to blog about my long Portland, Maine layover. Portland has always been one of my favorite layover cities. Especially when I take a side trip to Kennebunkport. Sadly, I didn’t take a side trip to Kennebunkport on this layover. It’s quite possible I was so distraught over not going to Kennebunkport that my brain refused to let me write about my layover. It’s hard to remember these things when you are discombobulated. I do remember eating lobster with the Skytress on my crew down by the water. I even remember I visited my favorite shops several times and happily spent way too much money in each store. Gosh. Now that I think of it, I could have regaled you with several delightful stories from my Portland layover. It would have been an excellent blog post. Darn discombobulation!
I’m certain I didn’t blog about my trip to Charlottesville because I was thoroughly discombobulated before AND after the trip. Heck. My trip to Charlottesville was planned by myself and my dear friend, Tara, so we could both recombobulate mentally, physically and emotionally in one short weekend. Tara and I are currently the primary caregivers for our mothers. We love our mothers. We are extremely fortunate we can take care of them in our respective homes. But, I’m not going to lie. It’s a lot of work. Especially with our mothers both being 85 years old with health issues. It’s a 24/7 job with little to no time off. Talk about being in a state of discombobulation. Everyone with aging parents living with them knows I am preaching to the choir on this one. You also know a few days of respite is constantly on one’s mind. Ah, yes, respite. Tara and I decided we would go to Charlottesville since it was just a couple hours from Maryland where Tara lives. If need be, we could be back in Maryland in a jiffy. Fortunately, we didn’t have any parental emergencies the entire weekend. Alleluia! Tara’s husband made reservations at an incredible restaurant on our first night in Charlottesville. Our meals were scrumptious. We quickly discovered Charlottesville is known for its excellent restaurants. The entire weekend we relished our meals. We, also, relished the fact that we didn’t have to make dinner for anyone the entire weekend. Or do laundry. Or clean. Or a thousand other things you have to do at home. Nope. We ate. We shopped. We enjoyed wine. After all, Charlottesville is known for its numerous vineyards. I’ll admit. The weather was very conducive for sitting outside at a winery to enjoy the exquisite green rolling hills….and some wine. So we did just that. We completely enjoyed our mental recombobulation holiday. Sadly, we had to go home before we got completely combobulated. But, semi-combobulated is better than discombobulated any day of the week.
I did have several long layovers before the end of the year. Each layover I had grandiose plans. I wanted to visit the Air Force Academy on my long Colorado Springs layover. Shopping was on the agenda for my long Omaha and Wichita layovers. I contemplated renting a car to explore the airplane graveyard in Tucson. But, I thought staying in town to explore the campus of the University of Arizona would be more manageable. Yessiree. Those were my plans. In actuality, I slept my entire layovers. Horrors of horrors! I was the layover slam-clicker you hear about. What can I say? Discombobulation is hard. It’s exhausting. It was by the grace of God that there weren’t any hotel emergency evacuations on my slam-click layovers, too. Talk about being discombobulated! Heck. I scared myself profusely each layover when I looked in the mirror. My bed head alone was atrocious! The rest of me was utterly frightful. Fortunately, I was always able to muster up just enough energy to brush my teeth and then head back to bed. I admit. I do have a healthy dose of vanity when it comes to my teeth. Discombobulation, recombobulation, even combobulation will never change this fact.
I felt like Henny Penny before my foot surgery in December. Just like Chicken Little shouting, “The Sky is falling”, I found myself mentally shouting, “Christmas is coming. My foot surgery is coming”. Since I didn’t want to be eaten by a fox like Henny Penny, I did my utmost to outwardly appear cool, calm and combobulated. Fortunately, I accomplished my mission to get the house decorated and fly a marathon of days before my surgery. Talk about a discombobulated whirlwind. At that point I would have loved to have fallen off the face of the Earth. I was utterly spent. My recombobulation post-surgery period consisted of me laying on the living room couch admiring the Christmas decorations. This time my Henny Penny brain was saying, “I need to write my annual Christmas ornament blog”. Heck. I even hobbled over to the tree to take pictures of my ornaments. Then I hobbled back to the couch and never wrote the blog post. Say what?!? I know. My Christmas ornament blog is the easiest one to write, too. Heck. It’s mostly just pictures. I wish I could say the fox ate me like he ate Henny Penny. Thus, preventing me from writing. But, he didn’t. Anyway, I’m certain he would have become thoroughly discombobulated, like me, if he did.
I apologize if my lack of blog posts has left you discombobulated. I wish we could all fly to Milwaukee and stand under the “Recombobulation Area” sign. We would be completely combobulated in no time. Ah, yes. That would be grand. I must caution you to not pack your bags too quickly, though. There may be some more irregular flight operations ahead for this Rerouted Skytress. Yessiree. There is a chance I will have to extend my medical leave. Incredibly, my foot has healed so fast, the new tissue has pushed the screw in my foot loose. There is a good possibility I may have to have the screw removed. Talk about being discombobulated. Heck. I thought the only loose screw I had was the one in my brain. (Insert drum rimshot…ba-dum-bum-tishh ). I’ll keep you updated on this development. So, yes. I can say with certainty….I may or may not be back flying come mid-April. I’ll let my foot doctor make this final decision. After all, she will need to fill out the updated medical paperwork. Sadly, my airline will no longer accept my Crayola Crayon version. I know! They are such sticklers! Heaven knows I will be discombobulated when I do return to my office in the sky. So, if you observe me one minute heading to the forward galley then abruptly turning aft. It’s okay. You can bet your last airline profit sharing dollar I’m not lost….No siree…..I’m just recombobulating.