The Rerouted Skytress

It finally happened, my sweet friends. I got a new cell phone. Yessiree. I no longer have to carry my crew cell phone, along with my personal cell phone, just to take pictures on my layovers. Yep. My new cell phone has a functioning camera. Alleluia! I’ll admit. The anticipation of getting a new phone was extremely confusing for me. I had been looking forward to getting a new phone for weeks. As the days approached, I found myself becoming very melancholy. I had my old iPhone for years. I spent countless hours talking, texting, Googling, and taking pictures with it. My old iPhone captured many memories for me. Of course, many of those memories involve memories of Ron. Getting a new phone in the past was so simple. Heck. I looked forward to talking and texting with Ron on a new and improved cell phone. Sadly, I won’t be able to do this with my new phone. Ugh. I never knew how complicated my emotions would become as I pushed the “purchase now” button.

I remember when I was a little girl in Cincinnati, my friend, Liesl, told me her Mom, Kathleen, didn’t want to get a new answering machine. The old machine had a saved message from Liesl’s grandmother on it. Liesl’s grandmother had passed away months prior. Kathleen cherished hearing Grandma’s voice on the saved message. Yessiree. Kathleen could push the “saved message” button whenever she longed to hear Grandma’s voice. I didn’t quite comprehend it at the time. Sadly, I did after my Dad passed away. Unfortunately, I don’t have any saved messages on my phone or answering machine containing my Dad’s voice. I was naïve. I didn’t think the day would come so soon, when I, too, would long to hear my Dad’s voice. I did learned from this oversight, though. I saved my texts and voicemails from Ron. I even took the extra step and backed up Ron’s voicemails before I setup my new phone. Luckily, everything transferred over very nicely on to my new phone. Whenever I long to hear Ron’s voice, I open my phone and listen to his voicemails. Hearing his voice calms me. It makes me smile. It fills my heart. I thank God for this privilege. I, also, thank Alexander Graham Bell.

I know Alexander Graham Bell had no idea how far communication would evolve after he spoke those famous words, “Mr. Watson-Come here- I want to see you.” Heck. Mr. Watson was hearing Mr. Bell’s voice from a telephone in an adjoining room. I know he never fathomed someone using a phone 35,000 feet in the air to talk to someone down on Earth. I pretty much can guarantee he never conceived people would use phones to conduct their banking, take pictures, listen to music, purchase items, play games or save the sound of someone’s voice. Heck. I never fathomed it. And I watched the Jetsons as a child! These days new phone technologies happen so fast it boggles my mind. I’m sure my new iPhone will be out of date in a matter of months. Heck. It probably already is. Truth be told, I purchased my last iPhone in 2015. I’m not embarrassed by this fact at all. Hey, I learned from the best not to rush out and purchase the latest and greatest new cell phone. The “best” was Ron.

I used to tease Ron that the Smithsonian wanted his cell phone for a historical phone exhibition. This didn’t bother him one bit. He loved his flip phone. I would chuckle at his archaic emoji’s that were made from punctuations and symbols. I’m convinced if Alexander Graham Bell had given Ron the first telephone from 1876, Ron would have used it daily until 2018. I still remember the day Ron was forced to get a new cell phone. He sent me a text with a real honest to goodness emoji. I was gobsmacked when I saw the little yellow emoji smiling back at me. Of course,….I still have the text.

My airline company phone is, also, an iPhone. Its’s an iPhone 12. I knew when my airline phone was newer than my personal phone, an upgrade was necessary. Thankfully, I was forced to learn numerous new tricks on my company phone. So, the transition to my personal phone has been much easier. Unlike, my personal phone, I cannot make actual calls on my company phone. Say, what!? I know. I’m positive our airline knows we Skytresses and Skyters would be talking on them all the time. Especially while we are on the airplane working. And that folks, is a major no-no. I’ll admit. I’ve gone into the lavatories a time or two to make an urgent call. Yessiree. The smart people, better known as Skytresses and Skyters, know the lavatories are a makeshift phone booth. The brazen people, better known as passengers, just talk on their phones from the comfort of their passenger seats. I’m pretty sure Alexander Graham Bell, would have been one of the brazen people. One can be brazen when one invents the telephone, though.

I’ve been a Skytress long enough to remember when our company installed the first phone on the airplane for passengers to use. The phone hung on the wall and passengers had to swipe their credit card to use it. Mostly, though, it was a decoration on the wall that passengers stared at. Rarely, did anyone use it. When a passenger did use the phone we would talk about them in the galley. We all knew the passenger was using the phone to impress someone. We were rarely impressed. Now if the same passenger came on the plane with treats for the crew, we would have been overly impressed. You see, folks. This is how Skytresses and Skyters minds work. I’ll admit. There was a whole lot more galley gossip when our airline installed phones in the passenger seats. And galley gossip was usually combined with a lot of eye rolling on our part, too. None of us wanted to hear a conference call at 35,000 feet while we were trying to serve. I’ll go as far as to say, even the passengers didn’t want to hear the conversations of their seat mates. Alexander Graham Bell might have been the nicest person I ever met. But, if he picked up the phone from his first-class armrest to call Mr. Watson, we would have still rolled our eyes and gossiped about him in the galley. Now,….if Mr. Bell handed us candy before he made the phone call,…….

Alexander Graham Bell may have imagined every household having a telephone. But, did he ever imagine every passenger having a phone and using it on an airplane. Probably not, since the first commercial airline came into existence after he died. But, I digress. I never imagined every passenger having a phone and using it on the airplane. Nor, did I ever imagine I would have to become the phone police. Egads! At least if we had guns like the real police, we could shoot the phone talking offenders. Of course, we would only shoot the annoying phone talking offenders. Some conversations are actually pretty interesting. Yes, my sweet friends, Skytresses and Skyters listen to phone conversations. Yessiree. We have bionic cell phone hearing. Happily for us phone police, passengers can now use their phones during all phases of flight. As long as it’s in airplane mode, of course. These days most passengers are texting their friends and family during the flight. Thus, there are less rushed conversations occurring before we take off. Fortunately for us, there are still enough phone talking offenders to keep us on our toes. Nowadays, these offenders think we can’t tell they are talking on their phones because they are wearing face masks. Bet, they wouldn’t think this way if we had Skytress and Skyter cell phone enforcement police guns. I imagine even Alexander Graham Bell would resort to texting instead of talking if we were issued these guns.

I’ve been using my new iPhone for several weeks now. I’ll admit. I had to reset a few passwords in the process. Ugh. Passwords! I wonder if Alexander Graham Bell would have used different passwords for each app. I like to think he would eventually call Mr. Watson in exasperation inquiring about his multiple passwords. Ah, I can hear the phone conversation now. “Mr. Watson. Come here. I can’t remember my Instagram password”. I, also, like to think Alexander Graham Bell would have his original telephone packed away in his dresser drawer. That’s where all my old phones have ended up. I’ll admit. There is something comforting about having all my old phones close by. I’m sure in a few years my dresser drawer will overrun with old phones. I could blame Alexander Graham Bell for this hoarding problem. I won’t though. I’ll thank him instead. Heck, new phone technologies are coming about daily. I’m sure the day is fast approaching when we will be able to call people directly in Heaven. I’ll be sure to call Alexander Graham Bell first. I’ll thank him for inventing the telephone and creating our telephone addictions. On second thought, maybe I’ll call Mr. Watson first. After all, that is what Alexander Graham Bell did.