The Rerouted Skytress

One morning my crew and I were going through the security check point in Louisville. This was before they had the Known Crew Member security check point. So, we were in the regular security line with the passengers. Our pilots made it through security before us. As is customary for our pilots, they waited for us on the other side of security. My fellow Skytresses and I had a momentary delay getting to security. We were slowed down as we debated whether we should get our Starbucks before or after we went through security. I’m sure you are dying to know how that debate ended. In true Skytress form,….we decided we didn’t really want Starbucks after all. So, we continued on to the security line. There was a family of four ahead of us in the security line. Immediately we could tell they were not frequent fliers. The family of four had enough luggage for twelve. They didn’t have their liquids out of their luggage. And they didn’t know they had to take their shoes off to go through the metal detector. The two children in the family were small. But, they were old enough to walk through the metal detector by themselves. Of course, the youngest child went through first. The metal detector beeped…and the child kept running as the Dad yelled for him to come back. After several attempts the father and two children finally made it through security. As I watched this debacle, I silently hoped this family wouldn’t be on our flight. I stood behind the mother as she finally got her stroller broken down and placed on the security belt. She proceeded to walk through the metal detector. The detector beeped. The TSA agent told the woman to go through again. She did. Again the detector beeped. A third attempt. Beep. The TSA agent then asked the woman if she had a phone on her body that was making the detector go off. The woman stopped and thought for a moment. Then she reached into her shirt and bra. I thought, well that’s a different place to put your phone. But, I guess she always knows where it is. No sooner had I thought this, the woman pulled out a tin of Skoal tobacco! I was NOT expecting this. It was a first for me. It humored me beyond words. The woman proudly held up her tin of tobacco so the TSA agent could see what was making the metal detector go off. The TSA agent did not bat an eye. Obviously, she has seen it all. My crew and I stifled our giggles. I was now fascinated by this woman and her family. I hoped they WERE on our flight. When we finally got through security the pilots were curious about what had taken place. When I told them about the tin of tobacco in the bra, they couldn’t help but laugh. Sadly, as we headed to our gate, the family headed towards another airline. These days when I go through Louisville’s security I think of this woman. Without fail, I always tell my crew about the day the lady pulled a tin of Skoal tobacco from her bra. It was the best!

Years ago when I was a relatively new Skytress I was flying on the Boeing 727. We were on the Boeing 727 with the aft galley on the first officer’s side of the plane. I called it the jinx plane. I was relatively new, but, I had been on this model of the 727 enough to know every time I was on it…..something odd happened. I was bracing myself for the jinx factor. I didn’t have to wait too long for it to kick in. I had finished setting up the aft galley and I was going through the cabin to close bins and make sure luggage was properly stowed. Sure enough….. I got to a row with a passenger holding her baby on her lap. The baby was laying in it’s baby carrier. I stopped. I could tell the passengers sitting beside and behind the woman were anticipating my arrival. They all knew the mother couldn’t hold her baby like this on the flight. However, no one wanted to tell her…..after all, that is what the Skytress is for. I calmly explained to the mother we had a full flight. I told her we didn’t have an open seat for her to strap the baby carrier next to her in a seat. Thus, for the safety of the baby, she would have to take her baby out of the carrier and hold the baby for the duration of the flight. I told her I would put the carrier in the overhead bin for her. To which the mother said, “You want me to put my baby in the overhead bin?” Her response caught me off guard. I looked at the passengers sitting in the row behind the woman so I wouldn’t start to giggle. However, the three passengers in the row were already laughing. They gave me a sympathetic look. The passengers sitting on the side of the woman gave the “Oh my goodness” look. I repeated to the mother that she would hold the baby and I would only put the carrier in the overhead bin. Her response was, “You want to put my baby in the overhead bin?” The man siting next to her looked out the window. The woman next to her looked awkwardly at her magazine. I looked at the row behind the mother. They were no longer laughing. They all had a look of disbelief. And a look of ” you sure are in a pickle now young lady”. I didn’t know how I could make this more simple for the mother to understand. The darn jinx plane was winning. With all eyes upon me, I had a moment of clarity. I asked the mother to take her baby out of the carrier. When she finally pulled the baby out of the carrier, I gently removed the carrier from the mother’s lap. I placed it in the overhead bin. The passengers sitting beside the mother and behind the mother had a collective sigh of relief. I was also relieved. I walked away happy and satisfied. I was satisfied with the way I solved the baby carrier issue. More importantly, I was happy because this was the only flight we had on the jinx plane for the rest of our trip.

I thought my baby carrier story was going to be hard to beat. But, I was completely wrong. A pilot friend of mine told me a story that definitely one upped mine. He told me it happened at his previous airline. Chris explained he was on his flight going home. He had booked the pilot jumpseat. However, the agent told him there was a row in the back of the plane that he could sit in instead. Chris said he sat down in the row and watched the other passengers board the plane. He said he watched one couple come on the plane carrying a baby. Astonishingly, the couple put their baby in the overhead bin and closed the bin. Chris couldn’t believe what he had just witnessed. So much so, that he questioned if he had really observed the couple put their baby in the overhead bin. He could see the couple sitting in their row. They didn’t have the baby with them. Unfortunately, many more passengers were boarding and walking down the aisle. Chris decided the best thing to do was to ring his Skytress call button. He said an older crotchety Skytress came from the back of the plane to his row. He described the couple to the Skytress and told her the couple had put their baby in the overhead bin. The Skytress was annoyed with Chris. She told him she didn’t have time for his shenanigans and she walked away. Chris was in a quandary. He now was almost positive the baby was in the overhead bin and he knew the Skytress didn’t believe him. He ultimately decided he needed to ring his call button again. So he did. The cantankerous Skytress came back to his row. Before he could say anything the Skytress spoke. She told him she knew he was a jumpseating pilot. But, if he didn’t stop bothering her, she would have him removed from her flight. Chris told the Skytress he knew there was a baby in the overhead bin. He implored her to go check the bin. The Skytress stared him down for a minute. Then she turned on her heels and headed up the aisle. Chris had a momentary feeling he was wrong about the baby. He watched the Skytress stop at the row with the couple. She looked down at them and then opened up the overhead bin. She immediately spun her head and glared at the couple. Although Chris was sitting rows away, he could hear her scream at the couple. “Whatever would posses you to put your baby in the overhead bin?” She took the baby out of the bin and handed it to the couple. She walked back to Chris and said, “Can you believe that couple put that poor baby in the overhead bin?” Chris said he knew better than to answer her. But, he thought no,….he couldn’t believe it. But,….he sure was grateful he saw it. Me, too, His story definitely trumped my baby bin story.