The Rerouted Skytress

“Leadership is an action, not a position.”-Donald McGannon

Every flight has a Skytress or Skyter In-Charge. In thirty years I have flown with some of the best flight leaders. I have also had the misfortune to fly with a few flight leaders that failed to lead. They truly exemplified that leadership was only a position and not an action. The later group usually ended up on my no-fly list. Every Skytress and Skyter has one of those lists. Not surprisingly, many of us have the same names on our lists. We also have a list of flight leaders we will happily swap to fly with….even if it is an awful trip. Needless to say, I’ve learned a lot from Skytresses and Skyters on both of these lists.

I used to fly as the Skytress In-Charge a lot. There were several years where I exclusively flew in-charge….even if I didn’t want too. Yep, I would be escalated to the position. It became quite humorous to me after awhile. Now, I only dabble with flying in- charge. I do love flying in-charge and setting the mood for the trip. My mood is fun. Unfortunately, some flight leaders pack their bags full of drama and bring it with them every trip. When I tell my crew I am laid back, I mean it. I’m a very hard worker. But, I love to have fun with my crew and fellow airline family. I love a drama free trip. I love to keep everyone….crew and passengers happy. Stress is bad for everyone. Oh how I desperately wish some Skytresses and Skyters In-Charge that I’ve flown with in the past, believed this, too.

I loved flying with Ron when he was the Skyter In-Charge. He was more laid back than me. Ron used to work the ramp and was also a ramp supervisor. He was a gate agent and an agent supervisor. He also worked in numerous other capacities at our airline. Ron knew what each job entailed. He used this knowledge to his advantage and wouldn’t get worked up about most things. He knew jobs always got done on time….without everyone madly spinning on their heels. I would laugh when an agent would come on the plane at mach-10. Many times, they would hastily assume someone else, besides Ron, was in-charge. Between flights, Ron would usually sit in the aisle seat in the first row of the main cabin. Ron liked sitting there so he could comfortably stretch his long legs. The overly-eager agents always seemed irritated they had to walk to the main cabin to brief with Ron. I knew Ron loved making them do this. He would slowly nod as the agents breathlessly rushed through their briefing. The agents, most time, would wrongly assume Ron was going to quickly jump up and be as eager to board the airplane as they were. Instead, each time, Ron would stand up slowly. He would tug at his pants that always hugged his muscular thighs. He would tighten, then straighten his tie,…without saying a word. This slow, methodical- primping action would disarm the agents. The agents would have to stand there and wait. Ron’s size was intimidating to many gate agents. He was usually a foot taller than most people….and he had big muscles. I know Ron was aware of this and used it to his advantage. Ron had this standard routine. He would look at the agents without saying anything. He would move closer to them. Then he would then gently place his hands on their shoulders. At this point, most gate agents were usually unsure of what he was going to do next. Then in a slow calming voice Ron would say to them….”Everything is going to be okay”. He would bewilder the agents with his calmness. It was incredibly funny to watch. We would always laugh as the slightly confused agents headed back up the jetway. Ron would act accordingly when an agitated passenger would board ready to verbally do battle with someone. Ron would stop them in their tracks by silently standing there. He would let the person rant. Then he would curiously look at them for a long silent pause. Just as he did with agents, Ron would tell them….”Everything is going to be okay”. Sometimes he would chuckle at the absurdity of the passenger’s rant. He would use his clever humor to disarm them. On more than one occasion I would see these disgruntled passengers realize they were not going to get the best of Ron. Again his size would intimidate them. I witnessed many passengers trying to save face with Ron later in the flight. They would try to win him over by asking him what position or football team he played for in college. Ron would say he gave up football in high school to play drums. Again he would leave them speechless. A speechless passenger always made me smile…. especially the ones with a chip on their shoulders.

I fly with so many fabulous Skytress and Skyters In-Charge, I could write novels about them. But, I know everyone is waiting to hear some stories about the Skytresses and Skyters In-Charge that are not leaders in action. So, I won’t disappoint you. They are notorious for a reason. Like the Skyter-in charge that we deemed the load- hopper. He wanted to be wherever the passengers weren’t. He thought he was clever in how he hopped from one cabin to the next. Well, he wasn’t too clever. We all saw what he was doing and decided we wouldn’t fly with him again. Then we had the Skytress In-Charge that wouldn’t let anyone touch anything in HER galley. Which was hard because HER galley was also OUR galley. She would berate anyone that left a cup or can on HER counter as they were breaking down their beverage carts. She would question why we’re opening up carts and carriers after the service. Our replies were always the same….a passenger had asked for something. She would always give us a displeased look. I know people swap off her trips all the time. No one wants to deal with that craziness for three days. I also flew with a gal that came into briefing and immediately looked at me and another Skytress about my seniority. Without saying hello to anyone she asked us when we two were going to retire. I was 50 at the time. The male Skyter audibly gasped. Under his breath he said, “Wow.” She told us she didn’t want to be in-charge. The Skyter on our trip said he would gladly switch positions with her. She declined saying she didn’t want to fly in-charge, but, she wanted the Skytress In-Charge money. Then she complained and didn’t do any work for three days. When we pointed it out to her she said she didn’t care…..she hated people and the job. The Skyter said if he wasn’t transferring bases after our trip, he would definitely put her on his no-fly list. I’m sure she has landed on a few Skytresses and Skyter’s no-fly lists.

There must be something about crew briefings that bring the worst out in some Skytresses In-Charge. I was in the briefing room having a fabulous time talking with my fellow Skyter. The Skytress In-Charge came in and the first thing out of her mouth was ….she hoped she didn’t have to write anyone up on the trip. The Skyter and I gave each other a good eye-roll. She didn’t see it because she refused to look at us. The rest of the trip she wanted to throw passengers off the plane. She was waiting for someone to give her a reason to do so. The first leg of our trip the Skyter I was flying with found a book in the overhead bin. It was a survival book. He joked saying maybe we should read it. I should have kept it. I, unfortunately, ended up flying with this gal again. Simply because I forgot her name. When she came into briefing my heart sank. I braced myself for another awful three days of flying. She did not disappoint me. She didn’t say hello to one passenger for three days. Heck, she barely spoke to the crew. She did get a departure delay charged to her because she made catering come back to the plane. She insisted catering didn’t board the first-class meals. Of course, she didn’t checked all the ovens. She was adamant that catering never puts meals in “those” ovens. We all told her we always check ALL the ovens when we fly in-charge. Everyone knows catering puts meals in different ovens all the time. She didn’t appreciate us pointing out the obvious to her. She didn’t talk to us the rest of the flight. The only time she was really happy was when we flew with a pilot I used to date. He briefed her, saying if she wasn’t happy with someone on board, he would support her in having them removed from the plane. When he said this, I finally saw her smile for the first time…ever. Later,when he and I went out on our layover, he told me he knew from her overly-delightful reaction, he had said the wrong thing in his briefing. I told him he most definitely had. I then briefed him on my horrible flying experiences with her. I explained to him how I had forgotten her name after flying with her the first time. I promised him I would definitely remember her name after the second trip. And I have.

The last Skytress In-Charge I flew with that was…as Ron would say, …awful, awful, awful,….I flew with two times, as well. I remembered her name from the first trip and swore I would never fly with her again. Unfortunately, the second time she swapped onto my trip as I was commuting into Atlanta. It was extremely miserable flying the first trip with her. The list of incredibly ugly things she said and did is too long to recap. I will highlight one awful situation from the first trip, though. We were in the middle of boarding a flight when she completely lost her mind. She screamed at the gate agent in full view of passengers in the jetway. She was enraged the agent had not previously started checking bags. She shouted she had sent her a message. The agent tried to explain to the Skytress the computers were down they weren’t receiving messages. The Skytress didn’t care….she kept hollering at the agent that she sent the message. Of course, later, the Skytress told the other two on our crew a completely different story. When she wasn’t around they asked me what really happened. They didn’t believe her side of the story. Unfortunately, we flew into this city several times on our trip. The poor agent must have died inside every time she opened the airplane door and saw her. I felt sorry for the agent. The agent told me later she prayed for our crew. She knew she only had to deal with the Skytress In-Charge for a few minutes. We had to deal with her for days. The second trip the Skytress In-Charge was just as mean. She made the other Skytress on my crew cry. She was so happy she made her cry, too. The Captain and I watched in disbelief as the one Skytress ultimately broke down and the Skytress In-Charge proudly relished the reaction. The Captain could tell the Skytress In-Charge was a bully. He desperately tried to mend the situation before we changed planes. After we changed planes, he came to the back of the plane to have a second peace conference with the crew. The Skytress In-Charge sat with a smirk on her face the whole time. The Captain could tell his words were falling on deaf ears. But, the other Skytress said she would be fine the rest of the trip and he believed her. Later she told me she was mad at herself for giving the Skytress In-Charge the satisfaction of seeing her cry. Fortunately, rarely do we fly with these types of flight leaders. If you see Skytresses and Skyters crying on the plane, they are usually tears of laughter. As we always tell each other when we fly with sub-par flight leaders, this job is too easy, to make it so hard.